View Full Version : Original Kiss

08-27-2015, 04:20 AM
As if
slapped, her face
(taut in recoil assumed a shade
shy of pale, despite best

efforts at masking reaction)

beyond sincere, her fear

once spoken words sent
on their track might never
come back, let alone loose

lips & so appeared haunted,

hunted, hurt – in an instant
of flickering fluorescent folly
. . . in reverse, her face

as if slapped

back over the net
of that moment. After.

Inspired by certain origin/myth poems & poets here.

08-27-2015, 05:03 AM
I need to read this a few more times before I can comment intelligently, but at first blush I must say I know just exactly how the poor dear feels.

08-27-2015, 05:51 AM
I may not comment intelligently but I don't want to miss the moment to say I love this. One tidbit that's sweet is the title, Original Kiss, echoed by the line "beyond sincere, her fear".

The whole thing takes a rush of emotion that may occur in an instant, or the amount of time it takes for a tennis ball to cross the court, and slows it down like adrenalin can, using description of those tiny increments of feeling that usually just rush by.

The ending is killer.

I guess that wasn't too shabby after all......

08-27-2015, 06:07 AM

Mags, blushing