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Errant Lobe
08-17-2015, 07:21 AM
The Do's and Don't's of Public Transit

Cause no more grimaces,
Learn what true justice is.
Be what coolness is,
Don't eat on buses.

Carry on civilly.
Don't scribe graffiti.
Don't be a spitter.
Be better! Don't litter!

Do not panhandle.
Be an example!
Be honest, admit it!
You sometimes solicit.

Don't ever smoke,
Arrest, is no joke!
Act civilized,
Don't vandalize.

Don't carry weapons,
Be wise when you get on.
Let me tell you again,
It's no drink on the train!

Be a good neighbor,
And each will ride safer.
Please do your share,
And pay your fare.

( I am still playing around with it.)


Don't be contrary,
Please ride discreetly.
Don't be unfair,
And pay your fare.


In a moment of madness I sent a version of this to the New York City MTA to see if they could use it.
They rejected it.

Does anybody know who could buy this?

Errant Lobe
08-17-2015, 04:06 PM
The Do's and Don't's of Public Transit

Cause no more grimaces,
Learn what true justice is.
Be what coolness is,
Don't eat on buses.

Carry on civilly.
Don't scribe graffiti.
Don't be a spitter.
Be better! Don't litter!

Do not panhandle.
Be an example!
Be honest, admit it!
You sometimes solicit.

Don't ever smoke,
Arrest, is no joke!
Act civilized,
Don't vandalize.

Don't carry weapons,
Be wise when you get on.
Let me tell you again,
It's no drink on the train!

Be a good neighbor,
And each will ride safer.
Please do your share,
And pay your fare.

( I am still playing around with it.)


Don't be contrary,
Please ride discreetly.
Don't be unfair,
And pay your fare.


In a moment of madness I sent a version of this to the New York City MTA to see if they could use it.
They rejected it.

Does anybody know who could buy this?

Can I send this to other transportation authorities in other states?
Has anyone on AW ever done something similar?

Errant Lobe
08-17-2015, 06:21 PM
Has anyone ever sold something like this to a public or corporate entity?

Marlys
08-17-2015, 08:06 PM
I think you'd have a better shot
if you shortened it a lot,
and maybe spent a bit more time
on polishing up the rhyme.
Then when you put down your pen, you
might try a light verse venue.

Marian Perera
08-17-2015, 08:16 PM
Be honest, admit it!
You sometimes solicit.

Um, no, I don't.

So as soon as I came to this verse, I'd go read something else.

Lavern08
08-17-2015, 09:29 PM
I think you'd have a better shot if you shortened it a lot, and maybe spent a bit more time
on polishing up the rhyme...

I agree. :)

Errant Lobe
08-18-2015, 03:19 AM
I think you'd have a better shot
if you shortened it a lot,
and maybe spent a bit more time
on polishing up the rhyme.
Then when you put down your pen, you
might try a light verse venue.

Nice rhyme, Marlys.
Yeah, I do know that it needs to be polished.
Yes, I will be hammering away at it.

Errant Lobe
08-18-2015, 03:24 AM
Um, no, I don't.

So as soon as I came to this verse, I'd go read something else.

Yes, I hear you. But, I actually wrote with the real subway's warnings list before me.
I basically hit all their points on their list. Or at least that's what I tried to do.

cornflake
08-18-2015, 04:29 AM
Many of those couplets don't rhyme. I think that'd need to be ironed out first.

Errant Lobe
08-18-2015, 06:07 AM
Many of those couplets don't rhyme. I think that'd need to be ironed out first.

I use off-rhymes in my work. Is that a bad idea?

cornflake
08-18-2015, 06:48 AM
I use off-rhymes in my work. Is that a bad idea?

I think in something meant for the general public (as opposed to a literary or poetry magazine), you need to hone to classic expectation some.

Can I ask why you pitched this to the MTA? I can't imagine the destruction posters with that would face, honestly.

Errant Lobe
08-18-2015, 08:40 AM
I think in something meant for the general public (as opposed to a literary or poetry magazine), you need to hone to classic expectation some.

Can I ask why you pitched this to the MTA? I can't imagine the destruction posters with that would face, honestly.

I just wondered if they had an interest in posting their rules in another form. I guess I thought it would provoke some discussion. I figured not everybody would like it.

Errant Lobe
08-18-2015, 08:46 AM
I read somewhere that song lyricists say that it is possible to create b-rhyme poem that maintains the cadence. I study Robert F. Murray. I began to write like this after discovering Murray.
I like that his phraseology is not abstract or necessarily classical poetic language, but he rhymes in everyday conversational sentences. I love that challenge.

Marian Perera
08-18-2015, 07:40 PM
Yes, I hear you. But, I actually wrote with the real subway's warnings list before me.

Is there a real subway which tells everyone that they're being dishonest if they say they don't solicit?

Errant Lobe
08-19-2015, 01:15 AM
Is there a real subway which tells everyone that they're being dishonest if they say they don't solicit?

Yes, I understand your point. I will have to change that.

cornflake
08-19-2015, 02:56 AM
I just wondered if they had an interest in posting their rules in another form. I guess I thought it would provoke some discussion. I figured not everybody would like it.

Another form aside from which? They've got the posters, the pictographs, the mean posters, etc., etc. They had manspreading-gate...

Errant Lobe
08-19-2015, 06:58 AM
Another form aside from which? They've got the posters, the pictographs, the mean posters, etc., etc. They had manspreading-gate...

The postered list.
I think it was 10 points on the list.

Susie
08-26-2015, 05:42 PM
just wanted to say :welcome: to you all. Great advice. Good luck.