View Full Version : not how you wanted it to be

07-29-2015, 06:45 AM
a poet is someone
who juggles her own eyeballs
one up one down
and around the back
all while shards of the day
pierce her gut at random

later she removes
the shards so
the wounds bleed
dark clots of words
catching up
her eyeballs
she fingerpaints
blind messages
idly circling
the crystal rim of time
til it sings.

07-29-2015, 06:58 AM
This is wonderful. The imagery is strong and mind-blowing-ly descriptive, I jest not! In light of our "editing" thread, I hope you'll take the following observation in good spirit - I quite pictured a type of performer (performance) like a jester/clown/wisefool/poet type, a bit on the bloody-horror side, and I pictured "daggers" not "shards" on several reads to great effect, in my head's poetry reading room tonite. Nice work on this, no doubt!!

07-29-2015, 07:02 AM
That thread is what triggered this. I must have channeled you. :greenie

And thanks!

ETA: Considering daggers. Less expected a word perhaps, though I really like shards. For the sound and also the meaning distinction.

07-29-2015, 07:19 AM
This is astonishing. I'd like to memorise it and tell people about it.

07-29-2015, 04:09 PM
Thank you, Rob. :)

08-08-2015, 10:45 PM
I'm not a critic, but I know what I like, and I absolutely, positively LURVE this, Kyla!!! :hi:

*Reads it again for the 3rd time*

08-08-2015, 10:56 PM
Loved this, Kyla. :)

08-08-2015, 11:44 PM
Thank you, Lavern and Ambrosia!

(Yes, I almost thanked Shirley but caught myself just in time.)

08-09-2015, 12:06 AM
outstanding. reminds me of the work of such a poet of my girlhood that you unfortunately might never know as he's not been translated into English. though untranslatable, if i were to translate that poem of his, it would be this.

08-09-2015, 12:09 AM
Oh, now I want to know, at least his name! Perhaps someone will offer a translation someday and I can read him.

Thank you very much.

08-09-2015, 01:03 AM
you can read a few of his poems here. (http://www.romanianstudies.org/content/2003/02/ladder-to-heaven-and-five-other-poems-by-marin-sorescu/)

08-19-2015, 01:47 AM
I came to this late -- I'm catching up on some poems I missed. I love it, Kyla. And yes, writing poetry is often just that painful for me.

08-19-2015, 03:52 AM
Thank you, Cass. Getting to that crystal rim makes it all worthwhile, though.

08-19-2015, 03:58 AM
Oh dear. I missed this too. It is fantastic. Truly.

08-19-2015, 04:00 AM
Thank you, Trish.

Taylor Harbin
08-19-2015, 05:27 AM
Heck, I think this describes any writer. Nicely done!

08-19-2015, 05:28 AM

Thanks, Taylor!