I Just Don't Know

I find going for a walk in the sunshine helps me, or writing down what's troubling me, or talking with my wife....try to find something that works for you.

I don't want to speak for everyone, but I do think everyone (even the happiest of people) go through low periods in their life. I think it's natural - and perhaps even good for you to sometimes have these low periods - that way you can better appreciate the good times in your life.

Good luck with everything - and take care.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Akuma)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
because there are never enough hugs



Akuma,

I am so sorry you are going through this; I've been there. What I find helps me is helping others. Maybe you can ask your parents or your guidance counselor at school to help you find a volunteer opportunity for after school.

Just my two cents,
Chac

Sports. Take on a sport. Who cares if you're good at it? Just do it, you will feel much, much better after a while.

Belive me, I'm 17 years old and suffering from the same thing you are. Sports are the answer. Long walks in which you just enjoy the moment also help a lot.

Akuma, can you get a doctor to review your medication? Antidepressants have different effects on different people, and finding the best one often takes trial and error.

That's a truly great point, Reph.

Chac

reph said:

Akuma, can you get a doctor to review your medication? Antidepressants have different effects on different people, and finding the best one often takes trial and error.

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More than that - I speak from my wife's experience - dosages that worked for several months become either not enough, or too much. Periodic trips to the doctor, as reph suggests, are much safer than experimenting with dosage yourself.

There is a brighter side. Remember this period, and it will give depth to your writing in days to come. Not much comfort now, I fear.

Having a good, understanding community around you helps. Don't hold it in.

Hang in there, do what you can, and ride it out.

many anti-depressants can have adverse effects on teens who are prescribed them. I've battled depression/anxiety for 30 years, even in my late 30's I found zoloft to have a helluva nasty kick until youre used to it, and can easily make you feel worse depending on your chemistry. See your doctor and tell him/her what you're feeling. 17 might be too young to be on that sh*it. You're in the right place here to spill your guts at least. Most writers I know are depressed and/or anxiety ridden cynics and pessimists. It's a bumpy ride so strap yourself in for the next 50 years

Akuma,

I just had another hour plus long talk with my son, who is 14. He is isolated from kids his age and it bothers me. Se we're negotiated some time away where he can meet kids his age. I really hope you can find some solace in life and live without medication. My son is (has been) free of mediciation for over a year and his life is pretty good.

Best of luck,

j

Make yourself get up in the morning, for better or worse.

It's not unusual to have that "what am I going to do with my life?" crisis at your age (or at other ages, for that matter), but the impending finality of school-out-for-good usually stirs those feelings more than most things. One thing I'd suggest is to look a little closer to your feet on your stroll. It's okay to scan the horizon, but there are lots of interesting things in the foreground that can capture your attention and imagination. In other words, don't agonize about the big things right now. Look for the little things that made you happy in the past, and search for new ones to investigate. If you've never written poetry, or shared some with others, go to the poetry forum and stick a leech on that vein. If you haven't posted a short or an exerpt on the share your work site, try it. If you've always wanted to learn how to play the piano, see if you can arrange lessons. And, if you ever really get pi$$ed off, make bread. The more you beat the $hit out of the dough, I mean knead it, the smoother comes the loaf.

Akuma,


I feel for you. I've been through times in my life where I didn't feel life was worth living, either, and I didn't want to get up in the morning.

A lot of the advice given here is good, but to repeat some:

1) Get up in the morning, and get dressed. I found that when I was really depressed, I'd spend a lot of days in pj's or sweats, and then I'd even feel worse.

2) See your doctor about your meds.

3) Physical activity, whether sports or walking or beating the crap out of a loaf of bread, is important. Physical activity releases natural hormones that help us feel good. Some days it's a struggle, I know, but once you're out and being active, you'll feel better.

4) I'm surprised that no-one's suggested therapy so far, but I found during my most troubled period that having someone non-judgemental to talk to on a weekly basis helped me to get over the rough spots a lot easier than if I'd been alone. If you can afford it, or your parents have a health plan that covers it, you can find a private therapist. Also talk to the counsellors/nurses at your school.


And keep us posted, if you like. We care.

Akuma said:

Lately, I keep getting by these spells of helplessness and depression and I'm not exactly sure why.

During these periods I get this sense of having no purpose and I get really frightened of the future.
I'm not the best student, I don't know what I'm going to do when I'm out of school, I have no idea where I am going and am terrified of dying alone without any impact on the world, though it seems foolish to hope for one's name in the history books.
Most annoyingly, during these periods things I usually enjoy become bland, such as my most prized ability, writing.

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Oddly enough, I just assumed those were NORMAL teenage feelings. I felt the same way. Feelings of lack of purpose, frightened of the future (hell, I still am frightened of the future, only now instead of wondering what I'll do after I graduate, I wonder what the hell I'll do after I reach retirement age and no money).

I went through all those same feelings when I was your age. I used to listen to heavy metal at full volume until the feelings went away. I did a lot of reading and a lot of writing.

And not to belittle any serious problem, but I had a lot of heart to heart talks with my dog, since I didn't think anyone else understood or cared.

But since you already are on meds, like others have suggested, get that looked at first.

You know, I'm not much for therapy. I've tried it, and it hasn't worked for me.

But doing sports has made me feel soooo much better, it's like a relief. When you're angy or something, you just punch something and you already feel good (don't punch anyone, though, that will only make things worse).

Now, the best sports are the ones that require a lot of discipline and concentration. Myself, I do capoeira, which is a cross between martial arts, gymnastics, dance, music and contortionism. We learn to play, sing and do capoeira. It's great! When I finish it, I am so exhausted I feel really good!! Plus, it gives you a GREAT body, lol!!

I’ve known several people who were bi-polar and/or were depressive that have had the cause narrowed down to allergies from many things around them. Deodorants, personal and those in a room, felt tip pens, soaps, certain foods, and the lists go on. You might look into that.

Another good thing to do if you're in a bad mood is to watch some funny movies, hang out with friends, make funny faces at yourself in the mirror...

The not knowing what you want to do with the future/being afraid thing is, as far as I can tell, entirely normal. I've known I wanted to go into music since I was eight (almost ten years now), and I'm still panicked about acctually finishing high-school.

If you don't make the class, don't worry. There's lots of old brains (I mean experienced... honestly...) here you can pick.

-Ally

A lot of really good advice here. Do make sure you discuss how you are feeling with your doctor though.

My suggestion is to look at your diet. If you are missing certain vitamins and nutrients they can have a profound affect on your mental health. Too much sugar or high carb food (ie things made with refined flour, white rice, corn) can give you an immediate lift, but they are used up so quickly that you crash and can feel worse. Take a look at how you eat, if there is too much fast food, too many sodas and not enough whole grains, fruit and vegetables this will not help the situation. In addition studies have shown that many people who suffer from depression can be helped by an increase in Omega 3 oils (the good oils found in certain fish) and the B vitamins. Talk to your doctor before taking supplements though.

I also really agree with Dama Negra on the benefits of exercise on mental health. Find one that you like and do it everyday. Besides the obvious physical benefits of being fit, the effect of exercising hard, is an increase of seratonin in the brain which acts like a natural antidepressant.

As for not knowing what to do, imo this is a perfectly natural thing. It is really difficult to look at the world and see all the amazing possibilities, and then decide to limit yourself to doing one thing for the rest of your life. There are some people who do know from a very young age, there are others who don t find out til they ve tried a variety of things. My advice would be to keep your options open, take courses that will allow you to go into more than one discipline and if something doesn t feel right, dont regret trying something else. Trying new things exposes you to new people, new places, and new ideas - and you never know which one of those things will strike a chord with you.

Good luck.

WRAP, etc.

you might not want advice from a little kid (thirteen), but i'm bipolar and i get those helplessness feelings a lot. my ideas:

- yoga (relaxing, calming, helps you think clearer)
- take up a sport that really makes you concentrate (dance, roller blading, ice skating -- hockey blades, etc.)
- work on some art.
hold on i'll be right back with a huge list my brother gave me. one second... here it is:

1. it's OK to feel anything. i am not the problem,
the problem is the problem.

2. meditation- breathe, don't cultivate OR chase away
emotions

3. wellness recovery action plan (WRAP)- when you're feeling good, write how you are then. when you are not, write how you are feeling then. you'll find patterns that will help you get better.

4. positive affirmations - when you're feeling good, make a list of what you are good at and look at it when you're not feeling good and tell yourself that what you wrote on the list is you, not how you are when you are feeling bad.

5. positive action - doing something about any
problem, or just doing something good or fun (art,
writing, movie, stretching, etc)

6. cleansing ritual (make a spell, prayer or poem,
burn sage, use water -- shower, mist your room, etc.)

7. call someone else you trust and just talk about anything.

8. keep a journal of when it happens, write everything
down. what food, water or sleep you did or didn't
have, whether you had any interpersonal stress,
excersise, yoga. this way you can find any patterns.

my brother's very spiritual ("make a spell"), but this really does help. please, try this.

happy healing,
spirit.of.the.rain.

Akuma said:

While I do work out every weekday, sometimes it doesn't feel like enough. However, owning no club membership or proper equipment, I am stuck with more cardio exercises, which I'm not as fond of as.
Due to my small size and lack of athletic talent, I doubt I would do much good in sports. I did take cross-country and track for two years before, the same injury kept troubling me and I quit. I'm not dreadfully competetive, either. Thus I'm considering walking, since the weather is finally getting nice here in Colorado.

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I'm not fat, but I'm really chubby, I've no athletic talent and my physical condition allows me to run 20 feet before fainting. Also,I'm small with short legs and weak as a toothpick. It's not about being the sporty type, it's about loving a sport. I'm not competitive either, and I always get frustrated because people are much better than me at any sport. But after you hang on a while, you start enjoying it.

GPatten said:

I’ve known several people who were bi-polar and/or were depressive that have had the cause narrowed down to allergies from many things around them. Deodorants, personal and those in a room, felt tip pens, soaps, certain foods, and the lists go on. You might look into that.

Click to expand...

I agree! If it's possible, at least get tested for food allergies. It winds up my bouts of the blues were caused by an allergy to corn. It couldn't hurt

I read at least a dozen newspapers from all over the world everyday and my problems seem tiny afterwards.




Os.