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William Haskins
06-19-2015, 08:55 PM
She walked into the mist
on Christmas morning.

I dared not call her name,
cold as I was (as we were).

We had arrived at conclusions,
fusions of fury and relish;

destruction is often delicious,
though a taste acquired through patience.

We were connoisseurs.

When she was but shadow painted
in the silver distance,

like strains of smoky blues, I heard
the laugh I fell in love with.

"Christ is one year older and
god damn it's gotten cold,"

I said to myself, passing
yet another closed cafe.

Perks
06-20-2015, 01:39 AM
destruction is often delicious,
though a taste acquired through patience.

We were connoisseurs.



How much would you charge me to use this as an epigraph? It's terrible bliss.


This poem is interesting to me, because it's so visual. Most of your poetry tingles in the quarter where I keep my concepts, but this one I see in pictures. That might be a weird analysis. Do you consider yourself a very visual thinker? Does my "seeing" this one more than many of the others make any sense in the way it felt to write it?

William Haskins
06-20-2015, 02:21 AM
a big part of it for me was how she is obscured by the weather, a vision is evoked (maybe provoked), but it's "painted in the silver distance" and his chance to see her clearly has passed.

that was the goal anyway...

Kylabelle
06-20-2015, 03:20 AM
Hmm -- either it's an ended relationship, or a missed opportunity, or perhaps both -- not sure it matters exactly because the mood evoked is so precise.

For me the best part is the final two couplets. I can't think how to say why but there is something perfectly on target in "passing yet another closed cafe." I've been on that street.

Perks
06-20-2015, 03:28 AM
Hmm -- either it's an ended relationship, or a missed opportunity, or perhaps both -- not sure it matters exactly because the mood evoked is so precise.

Ah, that's it. Excellently observed.

William Haskins
06-20-2015, 06:51 PM
I can't think how to say why but there is something perfectly on target in "passing yet another closed cafe." I've been on that street.

loneliness sometimes seems like a conspiracy from all directions.

Kylabelle
06-20-2015, 07:24 PM
Yes it does.

Stew21
06-21-2015, 11:23 PM
It's achingly sad. And quite beautiful in that emotion. The ache is tucked into all the nooks. That she is obscured makes the picture more vivid. I find that counter-weight intriguing.
This one has a haunting quality achieved by your intuitive, light touch.
Well done.

Magdalen
06-22-2015, 12:13 AM
So evocative of a kind of jazzy, gray despair - the images convey an almost cinematic freeze-frame of the event, but what kicked my ass was the title - that the scene was only a prelude to how the narrator felt later on. Thanks for posting this!

Pyekett
06-22-2015, 12:23 AM
Love the light touch and what is left unsaid. Thanks.

William Haskins
06-24-2015, 04:47 AM
thank you all for reading.

B.D. Eyeslie
06-24-2015, 04:54 AM
God Damn!
Well, you know what I mean.