Battling the Monster of Doubt

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anastasiareeves

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Getting way ahead of myself is my brain's way of feeding the Doubt Monster heavy amounts of food on a daily basis. In my newly created profile I admit that one of the things people do not know about me is that I fear success. Even the smallest amount of it. And here's why.

Today as I read through my usual social media fodder, I was deeply saddened to find a well-known YA author having to come to the defense of her friends, who are also well-known YA authors, against hateful readers(?). One of the authors was being accused of catering to a teen audience so he could molest his fans, and the other was being threatened with bodily harm, and arson against bookstores selling her work, because they didn't like something she did with her characters. Also her own fandom is mad at her for not choosing a side in a war over things she has no control over. In other words. The authors who's work I have grown to admire, are dealing with a pile of crap just for being, successful authors.

Now. I may never be a successful novel writer. And I am well aware of that. But just seeing that it's out there. The vitriol, the hatred, even if you have a small modicum of success, makes me feel the urge to try less.

Many people fear failure. I fear success. How does one quiet the Doubt Monster and stop feeding it tasty morsels? Is it possible, in this day and age, to be a successful writer and NOT engage the public via social media? How do you shut the voices up and just write anyway?
 

Layla Nahar

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"How does one quiet the Doubt Monster and stop feeding it tasty morsels?"

You could start by ceasing to read information like what you've described above. Write, submit, write.

"Is it possible, in this day and age, to be a successful writer and NOT engage the public via social media?"

I'm pretty sure 'yes'.
 

Brutal Mustang

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You know, many writers are successful without any of the drama of those two writers you describe. Look at J.K. Rowling. Little is said about her, and what little is said, is usually positive. If you are that paranoid about success, simply be very careful of what you say and do on social media. If you're unsure of something you want to tweet or publicly comment on, pass it through a few friends first.

I might mention, I use this forum as a rather covert place to learn, teach, and debate, because I need it. People may not agree with the things I say here. Or how I say it. Years ago, I've expressed opinions here I no longer hold or am even ashamed of. Therefore, I generally don't publicly promote books or art here. I don't use my real name as my user ID. I rarely post pics of myself. Hell, as I become a better-known painter and sculptor, I'll probably no longer post any of my art here so people don't connect any dots. Only a handful of people here know who I really am.

On the other hand, I'm ridiculously guarded with what I say in public, as myself. And I don't take any troll bait, like I might do here. I too, hate drama!
 

anastasiareeves

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Social media drama is probably easy to avoid if you're in the world of erotica, unless you're EL James. But as I am also a YA writer, it might be harder to not have an online presence. I follow the authors in question because when they're not being called child molesters and being threatened with bodily harm, they give really good writing advice. As well as life advice. If either of them had a constant stream of drama I'd have unfollowed them long ago.

When I wrote this thread I was having one of my many bouts with "I can't do it. I give up." I don't write to be successful. I write to get it out of my head. Write. Submit. Write. Sounds good in theory, but what if it gets read? And what if it goes viral? And there goes the cycle. It is one thing to be critiqued and reviewed. It is another to be torn apart just because you're out there and people can.

As for J.K. Rowling. She has been fighting many battles lately. She just does it better than others. The thing is, I am more emotionally in the realm of these other authors I am referring to, in that I will not be able to gracefully respond to hatred and death threats with quirky one liners from books I've written in days past, like Rowling. I will respond in ernest, and the cycle of abuse will continue.

And as I said. These are all the things my brain does to me to get me to avoid writing. This is just one in the long list of things I do to tell myself I'm a terrible writer. That is why I am here. To learn to not do that.
 

Jamesaritchie

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All that drama is incredibly easy to avoid. Stay the heck off social media, and ignore such people. It's all BS. There are trolls everywhere, and always those who make threats and say stupid things. They have as much meaning as a fart in a whirlwind.

There's only drama if the writers decide to participate.

Nor is this a reason to fear success. I don't buy that for a second. You know good and well that 99% of writers never have these problems, and for the most part, those tiny few who do have them choose to take part.
 
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Brutal Mustang

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I follow the authors in question because when they're not being called child molesters and being threatened with bodily harm, they give really good writing advice.

Like I said before, this isn't normal. There are dozens of writers right here on this board who manage to stay fairly drama free. Maybe your friends engaged in debates with online trolls a little too much.

Years ago, when I started selling art professionally, I got in trouble on occasion. Took too much troll bait. Expressed too many political opinions. Gave certain people too much of my time instead of ignoring them. Said things without thinking, more than I do now. That kind of thing. Through experience, I've learned how to diffuse shit, or avoid it completely. Or, I can even stir the pot, if I want too. (For example, I HATE copycat artists. They are a plague, and I will publicly shame people who copy my art.) Point being, yeah, you may have trouble at first. But in time you will learn how to manipulate your public image. It's not that hard.

Moreover, what others think of you is none of your business. If you want to write, fucking write. Don't let others get in your way. If you choose to worry too much about social image, don't write (or sing, or paint, or act, or do anything else that can put you under public scrutiny). Knit instead. I hear knitting can be a relaxing little private hobby.
 

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Don't submit your work to the public then. You write because you want to. You're not required to write for an audience. It seems that you don't want people to read and review your work? So just write for yourself. Self-publish it (or even just get a proof sample), buy yourself a copy and just bask in the glory of seeing your writing bound in paper.

Or write under a pen name if you want your work out there. Anabella Steves is not Anastasia Reeves and anything anyone says about Anabella Steves you do not take personally.

But aside from writing for yourself, don't be afraid. Yes, people can be nasty and selfish and unreasonable. But who are these people to you, really? The answer should be: nobody important. If they take the time to spew hatred, then they have too much time on their hands that should be spent doing good instead of being narcissistic. They don't deserve responses: don't feed the monsters. You love to write, don't let the negativity of the world out there bother you. Writing is for you, not them. *hug*
 

Once!

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Haters gonna hate. The vitriol and negativity has probably always been out there. The internet means that we can see it more easily where before it was hidden.

I suppose that's the price we pay for the ability of social media to be a positive force to market our work. It can help us and it can also hurt us. Thankfully the negative stuff doesn't happen all that often. And the good news about social media is that we can ignore it.

I do worry when I hear about writers coming to the defence of other writers in a war against readers. That's a war that we can't really win. May be best to stay out.
 

anastasiareeves

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Thank you for your responses. I know all of the things you are saying, deep down, but sometimes my mind likes to go wandering around unwatched. Social media baffles me sometimes. And I wonder, if I am ever faced with the choice between being involved, and staying away, which I path I will choose.

Also, just to be clear, reviews are not what scare me. Good or bad. I accept any and all thoughts on my writing. This was way different. I love fandom. I am in many. And I understand the passion with which people love and hate things. But to wish someone dead, too far.

Anyway thanks again for your thoughtful responses. :)
 

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Well, this is an unusual "problem." Fear of too much success? Are you a trust fund baby?

The Fans-to-Haters ratio is always skewed in favor of The Haters. There are entire discussion boards made up of people with nothing better than to hate on stuff. If Jesus Christ came back and was an online blogger, he'd never bother reading the Comments section.

The way trolls use social media to hunt for new victims is appalling, but I refuse to allow them to drive me away from it. I figure if their lives are so empty they have to seek out others to harass, that's their decision. If it wasn't me, they would only target someone else.

I take it on faith anything I write which is liked by some will be loathed by a few. I love the responses, but I don't let any of them crawl into my head. That's how I deal with them. Critics can be useful. Trolls don't know the meaning of the word.

:troll
 

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Don't forget that if/when you do get trade published, you'll have an agent and an entire publishing team fighting your corner. They'll have lots of experience dealing with bad press and will probably be more than happy to help you navigate the tricky world of social media. If you are truly scared of communicating with your fans for fear of backlash, let them know and I'm sure they'll have great advice on how to interact online and when to stop interacting etc. You could also consider publishing under a pen name.

There are so many YA authors who DON'T have a negative online presence, or any online presence at all. I think Suzanne Collins is pretty private about her life, understandably, and yet look at how successful she is. I can also think of YA authors who are extremely connected to their fans through Twitter etc, and they seem to be doing just fine. Tahereh Mafi and her husband Ransom Riggs come to mind. So do Rainbow Rowell, and (ugh, can't remember her name but I follow her on Twitter...) the author of THE DUFF (she's also on AW!). I'm pretty sure there are more YA authors who don't get accused of being child molesters than those who do. :D
 

anastasiareeves

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Couple things. I am aware of how many YA authors out there do not have drama surrounding them at every corner of their social media activities. What happens is, I see authors dealing with drama and trolls and I wonder, what would I do, If I was in their situation? Would I be able to ignore it? And then my brain says "Nope, you should just quit this now. You have other skills that won't require you to deal with the public in any way." And I stop writing, or wanting to write. And it stops being fun for a day. And then I remember myself and it's fun again. The cycle repeats every few days.

Also, Anastasia Reeves is my pen name. :)
 

Putputt

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Couple things. I am aware of how many YA authors out there do not have drama surrounding them at every corner of their social media activities. What happens is, I see authors dealing with drama and trolls and I wonder, what would I do, If I was in their situation? Would I be able to ignore it?

If I were successful enough to have people trolling me, I'd feel comfortable about whining to my agent. :D It helps to keep reminding yourself that you will have people in your corner who will listen to your woes and who will be able to guide you going forward, like whether you should engage or not etc. They'll also probably have tips on how to keep your mind off all the negative stuff, like bad reviews etc.
 

anastasiareeves

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It's interesting, I never even considered the fact that I'd have people to deal with that stuff for me. I'm so independent. But that is a great point. And one I hope to remember whenever I'm faced with that thought again :)
 

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Good thing about the internet, everyone's got a voice. Bad thing about the internet, EVERY one's got a voice.
 

Putputt

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It's interesting, I never even considered the fact that I'd have people to deal with that stuff for me. I'm so independent. But that is a great point. And one I hope to remember whenever I'm faced with that thought again :)

Yea, it's easy to forget that we can still rely on others as writers. When I first started writing, it was such a lonely vocation for me. I didn't think it was something I could share with anyone. Then I found AW. Now I have a group of online writing buddies I chat with almost everyday, and we talk about everything from writing to life in general. It helps me to know that if I ever get embroiled in some online drama, my writing friends will be there to comfort me and talk me through it. They'll be more objective and can tell me if I'm in the wrong and should take a step back. Sometimes, when I get frustrated with threads on AW and let my temper get the best of me, I ask Mr. Putt to go for a walk. Just going out in the fresh air helps me keep my perspective. Then I feel a thousand times better and I'm able to unsubscribe from the thread or whatever and forget about it.

Just remind yourself over and over that even if for some reason you somehow attract the attention of trolls, you don't have to go through it alone. You'll have your friends, family, your agent, your publisher etc all supporting you. They're one of your greatest assets, so don't be afraid to turn to them for help.
 

anastasiareeves

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As I said in my first post, I tend to get way ahead of myself. My work has had very little eyes on it. And the eyes that have been on it are ones I know and have been forced to read it because I made them. There is no fame or success anywhere near my future. Maybe in my next life. And maybe by then I'll know how to handle it. :)

This is just my brain forcing me to question my dreams. It's an a*hole. We only get along every so often. Today we're on speaking terms. It let me write three chapters in three different WIP stories.
 
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