Arousal is sexy. Sitting behind his eyes while he's courting or falling for a woman can be both hot and emotionally affecting, depending on who he is and how he feels about her. It's one of the main reasons I read and write M/F erotica, and I've sold short stories written from either perspective.
Let me put it this way: If I'm reading an erotic novel with a first person female protagonist, I have to take the male character at his word and believe that he's attracted to the heroine and cares about her the way he says he does (unless I think he's lying). So, why not peek inside his head for a bit? Let him get just as naked and vulnerable and exposed. Give him the chance to show and tell the reader exactly how he feels.
A good chunk of my research for my current WIP involved interviewing male friends about their sexual experiences. I wanted to know what sex with a woman was like for them physically, mentally, and emotionally. I asked about attraction and arousal alongside sensory details. Their responses were fascinating.
Like you've surmised, posing the question, "do most straight, female readers want their Erotica from the female POV?" is going to give you a wide array of responses because not all straight women are into the same thing. Some women prefer female POV because they find it easier to imagine themselves as the MC. Others prefer M/M with no female perspective because, why would I need to read about a vagina? I have one! Show me the wieners! Others enjoy reading a story from both sides.
I think you nailed why I prefer the female POV. Arousal is sexy, and for me, female arousal in particular is sexy. I like the comparison you made between Romance and Erotica--as far as getting both the male and female POVs. On the last book I submitted I got a bite from one of the Harlequin imprints, but the rejection came and was explained based on three reasons: First, it was about 20k words too long. Second, the sex was far too graphic. And third, they wanted it in 3rd person to get the female POV.
I think that makes all the sense in the world--I just find 1st person comes easier to me. Plus, I just prefer it as a reader and a writer.
Interesting, your research for your WIP.
I think it has to do with the fantasy. As a female reader, I like seeing what the heroine finds attractive about the man, because duh, I want to know! But I also like seeing the male's POV and what he finds sexy about the woman. For me, seeing a man finding flaws us women obsess over as sexy is nice (even nicer when she's a BBW). But I prefer the male POV. I think that's because I know how a woman thinks. We tend to look at things in a softer, gentler way comapred to men. So to see that tough POV of a male is refreshing, and when you add in sex, it works for me.
Thanks, as I read these responses, I'm beginning to think I should reconsider my approach in my WIP--it would almost seem I'm shooting myself in the foot by limiting the POV. About 20k words in, 1st person male MC like the last one, and also like the last one the sex is graphic and raw, but I hope it's about a lot more than the physicality--as I believe sex, even for men, is about a lot more than just the physical. All kinds of things at play when people are in the throes of passion and the more we get, the deeper we get, and if we can get it from both sides, all the better. It's just harder for me.
When I began writing from the straight male perspective I had a really hard time deciding how explicit I wanted to make both his inner commentary and the sex scenes. Maybe it was my own prejudice or I watched too many American Pie films growing up, but I was terrified of depicting him as gross or disrespectful and I think my earlier sex scenes suffered for it. I still find it hard to determine where to draw those lines. When does a male MC's inner monologue go from hot to ick?
I love the intimate nature of erotica, but I often wonder if that intimacy can also be also be a liability. By that, I mean I sometimes struggle with whether or not to make my female protagonists too distinct. On the one hand, I want to write a fully fleshed-out character, but at the same time, I want to cultivate that sense of immersion for the reader who may have a different personality, appearance, set of preferences, etc. I combat this by keeping a fair percentage of my male MC's complements somewhat general. He can comment on her hair or her lips or other body parts without being too specific. He likes them because they are hers, not because they are a certain size, shape, color, etc.
I'm curious as to how other erotica writers go about balancing character uniqueness with immersion potential.
I think there is a weeeee bit of prejudice there, in characterizing "men" in the light of "American Pie" types. Believe me, we think those guys are dickheads too. I grew up very working class, blue collar inner-city type of environment, and even those guys (most of them anyway) weren't so shallow. Yes, men "Maybe" it's safe to say, are more motivated by the visual--but even then, that only goes so far. Men, if they have half a brain, are turned off by stupid women (almost) just as fast as women are turned off by stupid men. I say "almost" because, the final break can really, let's face it wait until tomorrow.
I hear you with regards to your concerns with how specific to get with characters. I tend to think going halfway on most things is dangerous, because then NO one will like them.
*AS a side note, if anyone would comment, it would really be a big help. But in the EROTICA genre, or I guess in any book where you've written very graphic sex, have you found yourselves limiting yourselves as far as what scenes or characters or storylines or I guess even themes you can run alongside (I've found either right before or right after) highly graphic sex scenes? That sounds convaluted-- like this, if I have my MC getting this that and the other and giving this that and the other, and in the very next scene fielding a phone call from his mother to nag him about coming home from Christmas, or from an underage little cousin to say that he/seh will be visiting next week, do you ever find yourself cringing and thinking, wait, better put some space between these scenes--But then, of course, on the other hand I think and I know that sex is as normal an activity as sitting down to a turkey dinner with your Aunt Rose on Christmas Day, and so it may just be my bias, or actually some leftover shame I have from my Catholic upbringing---I don't know, anybody know what I'm talking about here? Kind of like, my hang-up tells me that if I've got very graphic sex throughout a book, that somehow limits just how wholesome the other scenes can be. Hope this makes sense--find it is happening a lot now in my WIP, thanks.
