Uhm, non-erotica genre, erotic-vocabulary advice needed

Sooo. I have read a solid bunch of erotica, but I think it's actually the reason why I need to ask this

I have mildly-explicit sex scene/s in the novel, and while I don't always name the parts, I've come to a point where I need to. And I'm not sure which words are best suited for it, because the ones I know are probably the least subtle *ekhm*. Talking to my Canadian friend made me realize my hierarchy of mildness isn't necessarily the one in common perception, but he's all that oriented in the subject so I'm asking here.

Could someone with more experience tell me which words are considered to be most crude, which are mild and neutral, and which are more suited for a virgin to use? By mild I mean things that won't make an unsuspecting reader feel uncomfortable, but are also something a not-shy not-too-subtle PoV character would use in their narration.

Just typical and common words, I'm not going to get flowery (and if I ever need to, I'll have fun inventing stuff ^^).

Thank you!

Fantasy, but close to modern day with modern day vocabulary sans the most colloquial things born on the internet
Sorry, should've mentioned it in the first post.

veinglory said:

Words for what? Perhaps my vocab on this issue is too extensive because there is a general scale relating to works of all the bits and all the stuff they do.

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Human parts for both sexes (including breasts... Boobs sounds silly, tits sounds crude, bosom sounds plain strange), but if you throw in bonuses for actions, I won't be saddened

Indubitably said:

In US English? If you axe euphemisms, there aren't a lot, lol. Mildness is usually indirect. Hence, euphemisms.

Male: cock (less crude), dick (crude)
Female: pussy (mild), cunt (crude). AFAIK, these are the only words universal in US English. Most words other than "pussy" would be considered demeaning, in all likelihood. This is for internal dialogue, I assume?

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It's funny how dick is the more crude one since it's also short of Richard and a name in its own right, isn't it? Always amused me. It's one of the things I sure had wrong.

What euphemisms would you have in mind?

From the top of my head I also have manhood and shaft used for males, how are these perceived? And vagina for women which seems to be more commonly used than penis, from what I've seen, which is treated as a clinical word by many. Is that true?

The kind of more flowery words that would be out of place in my prose are things like a secret garden for pussy and similar They sure have their place, but the characters from whose PoV the sex/erotic descriptions are shown would never use them seriously. Although I do have one scene where I could use a similarly delicate word for a male organ... Hm. I can Google for that I think, unless someone drops by with a fun idea

Indubitably said:

I would use "breasts." "Tits" is cruder.

Don't feel bad. I never understood that one either. "Manhood" would be a bit flowery, "shaft" might be dated, and "vagina" and "penis" are both considered clinical, you are right. Sex scenes can be the most difficult scenes to write precisely because they're so subjective -including preferred language- and there are cultural hangups to dodge, etc. I usually just avoid this dilemma by implying, referring to "her," the whole, when I mean a specific part, i.e. synecdoche, if you want to be fancy. I still try to deploy a lot of specifics, so the entire scene isn't a vague, censored blur. If I was writing erotica, I would just be direct, naturally. Euphemisms are not ideal, but I still see "core" sometimes for vagina. Best to avoid euphemisms, as veinglory said, for modern settings. I'm in a historical headspace these days.

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ElaineA said:

This makes me both laugh and feel old. Dick seems mild to me (and also not that great for a sex scene) and cock is the more aggressive word to my ear. You already mentioned shaft (I don't find it dated, personally), there's also erection or just hardness or hard-on.

I agree breasts is a hard one, and I think whenever I try other things, I always just come back to breasts and nipples and qualify with descriptive extras if necessary.

The ladyparts you have...crease and lips and passage if you're wanting to be generally specific about the "where." I see center and core a lot, too, far more general. If the woman is young, bits (or ladybits) can work in certain kinds of lighter scenes. (But I think it would read silly if said or thought by a male.) I've had beta readers scold me for vagina as too clinical. *sigh*

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Flowery, hm. All right, I guess I'll have to go with something different as that was my placeholder word in one scene. Might just end up with a cock and be done with it, but I'll keep the others in mind for different characters who would find the word too harsh or literal to 'think'. I guess cock is not too bad, I even got gifted a T-shirt with a bunch of roosters saying "Tiny Cocks Make Me Giggle"

I've actually written a more detailed and complex sex scene without the use of a single noun, and sometimes it can work, but in this case it's a solo scene, and because of certain silly circumstances he states (to himself, mentally) quite clearly what he likes, and that's his <whatever word I go with>

I find that it's easier to write an even rather detailed sex scene without using any noun whatsoever than a deep-PoV narration or commentary. As you said it's going to be understood when it's said "she took him in" during a sex scene, but out of context something like "he looked at himself" won't really imply his cock whatsoever and would need some contextual gymnastics to achieve the same effect haha. Not to mention describing another person while paying attention to their bits. That's where breasts become a big issue

Describing breasts without being silly, flowery, or vulgar is strangely difficult. "Breasts" also sounds somewhat clinical to me, which is why the word doesn't fully convince me, but I'm not sure if there's a better alternative.

Her mounds of love looked great that shirt <3

English is still sooooo much better to write erotica in than my native tongue. Man, we can be either vulgar, very vulgar, clinical, or sound like children. There are no mild words whatsoever, I don't think. Not even a boob-equivalent. Only a tit-equivalent. And words for dick and cock sound twice more vulgar than these do in English

Hunter S Johnson said:

Of course, I'm the crude one, who refers to his gear as "Big Ed and the twins"... LOL

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Also, you said "cooch". Where is that on the crudeness scale? I forgot about the word, but it doesn't sound anywhere near the "cunt" level of vulgar, does it?

Roxxsmom said:

bearded clam

Dewy pink petals of passion

one-eyed jacuzzi trout

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There was some celebrity spat not long ago here and the guy said something like: "Yea, she and her cracked hedgehog."

Thanks everyone for your replies Much appreciated.