Share your tagline!

I just got this idea browsing the "Share Your Work - Query Letter" forum.

I've heard mixed things about whether or not to include a "tagline" in your query letter, but I thought "Wouldn't it be a fun exercise to see all the different taglines AW writers can come up with and/or share in one thread?"

Here are the rules:

1)The tagline has to be short(ish)
2) The only other information you can have in the posting is the title.
3) GRAB US

Have fun everyone!

Here is mine, for starters:

A maverick lady mage.

…a bastard swordsman…an outcast archer.

…and a villain who never got the chance to be a hero.

THE RESPEN REBEL

Thanks for sharing these. I'm unpublished, so take my advice with a grain of salt (maybe more!), but I thought it might be helpful to critique as well. Taglines can be useful in query letters, elevator pitches, or just honing your idea to a fine point when talking to agents, editors, or even friends.

I'm going to do this one at a time, so look for yours later on. People can keep posting too! Or share their own critiques. I know mine needs help, so if anyone wants to pick at it, feel free!

Paint wrote:

Renegade Artist
Warrior of Truth
Mother of Teenage Energy Leech
Living just outside the boundaries of Reality.
Child of an adult body

Click to expand...

This is similar in style to mine, so perhaps I could turn this critique back on myself

This feels kind of choppy, and I'm not sure if this is all the same person or five different characters. I think you have to ask yourself, could you hear some guy saying this in a voiceover doing a movie trailer? It needs to be somewhat cohesive, with a clear beginning middle and end. You especially want the end of it to have some kind of punch.

Two particular problems:
1) Mother of Teenage Energy Leech--this is so specific that I don't get any kind of feel for the tone of the story. Teenage Energy Leech makes me think of a YA book ("I was a Teenage Energy Leech"), or even Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

2) Child of an adult body--ok so technically, we're all children of adult bodies. You can't have a kid until you're physically able. So do you actually mean that this is a child *in* an adult body? I would make this clearer, but I also wouldn't make it your closing.

I'd be interested to see a new version

veinglory said:

Hmm. What I am writing now:

TITLE: Whom the Gods Destroy
TAGLINE: What if the greatest love of your life existed only in your own mind?

urk, that could be improved, but you (hopefully) get the idea.

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veinglory said:

You guys prompted me to think up a good tagline for the novel I am really trying to get finished at the moment--and I ended up really liking it and getting a better feeling for what this book is about. It doesn;t really describe the plot but does indicate the tone.

TITLE: The Wicca Man I: Tongue Tied
TAG: If you love something, let it go -- if it comes back and kills you that was probably a mistake.

Yep, Emily the angst queen is trying to write something light-hearted...

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I LOVE the 2nd tagline. There's only one little burr in the saddle, I think, and that's the word "that" in the last part. I'm trying to think how to say it any better, but I don't think I can. You could even say "If you love something, let it go -- if it comes back and kills you, that was a mistake." with the same effect and it's a little more concise. Brevity is everything with taglines.

Good job! I'm curious now, which is the point