My first serious query blooper. What to do?

Roxxsmom · Apr 29, 2015

I pulled a real blooper in a query I sent a few days back to an agent I really would love to have rep me.

I transposed two digits in the length of the novel so it read 191,000 words, rather than 119,000 words.

Quite a difference! Just discovered this when I went to the hard copy of this query (to use as a template for the next one).

I haven't gotten my rejection from her yet (she seems to be running about a month out with those). Is it advisable to resend the query with a quick note of apology for the mistake? Or is it just toast at this point?

I realize the odds are against me in any case, but this is a dream agent.

Cath · Apr 30, 2015

Mistakes happen. As they go, that's not a huge one. A "whoops, I'm only human" email is unlikely to do you any harm here, I think.

Sage · Apr 30, 2015

I'm not sure if an e-mail would do you any good, actually. If she goes through her queries in order, she'll probably have many in between your e-mails. She probably reject you (very likely with that reported word count) before she sees the 2nd e-mail. Is she likely to unreject you when she does get to it?

I mean, no harm in trying since she's your dream agent (and maybe that's worth mentioning too in your 2nd e-mail if you didn't in your first), but be aware that you may not even get a reply to the 2nd if she still rejects you.

I would resend the query (with the corrected word count), and then add a paragraph up top explaining the mistake and why it's important to you that she particularly knows. I don't know what you'd do about the header (maybe stick a "(corrected word count)" at the end, or something)

Roxxsmom · Apr 30, 2015

Sage said:
I'm not sure if an e-mail would do you any good, actually. If she goes through her queries in order, she'll probably have many in between your e-mails. She probably reject you (very likely with that reported word count) before she sees the 2nd e-mail. Is she likely to unreject you when she does get to it?

I'll have to look and see if she's one of those who skips around or possibly scans her emails as they come in and sorts them into "request when I get a moment" or "probably no" folders. Because, yeah, if she goes straight in order, she'll see the one with the wrong word count before she sees the retraction/correction.

Otherwise, my only thought how to word this would be to open with:

I am seeking representation for [NAME], a [correct word count] fantasy novel. I know that this is somewhat irregular, but I sent an earlier query for this novel that I would like to retract, because it contained a typo which made the word count appear much larger than it actually is, and I only caught it yesterday when I was sorting through my sent query e-mails. I apologize for the mistake.

Then Query pitch again

anyway, thanks for your thoughts. I guess it doesn't hurt to resend with the changed word count after the title on the subject line and with a quick, apologetic explanation. All she can do is reject, which she'd likely have done anyway with the word count being so bloated (yet not out of the range that she probably gets sometimes). Hopefully it's not the sort of thing that would put me on her **** list for future novels if this one doesn't work out.

Dreity · Apr 30, 2015

I like the idea of putting "corrected word count" in the subject line, with a very brief opening paragraph explaining the goof. You're right, there's a huge difference between querying 191k and 119k! Sure, she might not be interested either way, but if there's even a slight chance that the correction would make her go, "Phew!" and ask for pages, I would totally do it.

(Note that I'm still a querying virgin.)

Roxxsmom · Apr 30, 2015

Thanks all.

andiwrite · May 1, 2015

Roxxsmom said:
I guess it doesn't hurt to resend with the changed word count after the title on the subject line and with a quick, apologetic explanation.

I agree that this is probably your best bet. Sorry, this really sucks.

Fingers crossed for you!

Quilliam · May 1, 2015

Is word count so significant, though? My novel is about 180,000 words. Should I be worried? It's women's fiction, by the way.

sheadakota · May 1, 2015

Quilliam said:
Is word count so significant, though? My novel is about 180,000 words. Should I be worried? It's women's fiction, by the way.

For anything except Fantasy and science fiction- (where world building increases the word count) most agents don't want to see anything over 80K words for a first time author. Ya is usually lower. For woman's fiction I fear that word count is a bit high.

EMaree · May 1, 2015

Quilliam said:
Is word count so significant, though? My novel is about 180,000 words. Should I be worried? It's women's fiction, by the way.

Yeah, that seems like a bit of a high wordcount for your genre, Quilliam. The lovely folks at the Women's Fiction subforum are the best people to ask about thi, but here's some reputable references I collected on a quick donder around the 'net:

Bookends Literary Agency says: 80,000 to 100,000 (sometimes 125,000, especially in the case of literary fiction).

Greyhaus Agency, using the Harlequin romance wordcounts as a baseline, caps women's fiction at 110k.

LiteraryRejections says to aim for 100k, 110k max.

The Swivet says 120k max, but the trend is for slimmer commercial fiction. (No specific category for women's fiction in their post.)

The lovely Janet Reid is slightly contrary here, saying 100k+ for women's fic, and one forum thread mentioned a 200,000 word debut, so don't lose hope!

Roxxsmom · May 1, 2015

Here's the most oft cited link for wordcount ranges for different genres.

http://theswivet.blogspot.com/2008/03/on-word-counts-and-novel-length.html

There are exceptions. There was a 140-150,000 range fantasy novel shopped recently on querytracker that got 20 requests and 7 offers of rep within a two week period. It was sort of an unusual circumstance (she was already agented, had a time limit, and had a successful self-pubbed book out already, and the book she was querying has a non-medieval, non European setting, which is on a ton of wish lists right now), but there are some popular fantasy writers, at least, who have very long debuts, in excess of 190k words (Brandon Sanderson, Patrick Rothfuss, Joe Abercrombie, Brian McClellan). It's not the norm, however, and I think women's fiction is generally expected to go lower. I think between 80-100k is a sweet spot for most adult genres, with some a bit lower and some a bit higher.

For fantasy, mine is at the upper end of what's generally recommended for a new fantasy writer, but because there are some very famous fantasy novels in the range of 200k words, it's very common for agents to get first time fantasy writers subbing 190k word opuses, so having that word count there wouldn't automatically make her assume it's a typo. Since there are only a few publishers that handle unsolicited novels of that length, even among big 5 fantasy imprints, it is a definite strike against, if not an auto reject for most agents.

With your woman's fiction book, is it possible to find a good, satisfying ending point about halfway through and make the second part of your novel the sequel?

Quilliam · May 1, 2015

I really don't know what to cut out, though. I really feel like that if I leave something out, it makes the whole thing less real. The events of the story happen in a one-year period, and are about how a washout actress wins an Oscar. Is this a good excuse for the word count?

newauth · May 1, 2015

I didn't read thru everyone's suggestions, but I would recommend doing the following:

1. Hit the Fwd button on your original email
2. Re-send the query with the following subject: "Fwd: [Original Subject] *CORRECTED Word Count (191K -> 119K)"
3. Bold the corrected word count in your original query, leave everything else the same

No need to explain. The mistake is a non-trivial one, so the correction is necessary and self-evident with the updated subject + bolding.

gingerwoman · May 1, 2015

Definitely give it a go!

KateH · May 1, 2015

Quilliam said:
I really don't know what to cut out, though. I really feel like that if I leave something out, it makes the whole thing less real. The events of the story happen in a one-year period, and are about how a washout actress wins an Oscar. Is this a good excuse for the word count?

It's impossible to say if your word count is justified just from a description of the plot. What's more important is if every word in your story is justified.

You may be able to cut down your wordcount by trimming excessive description, dialogue tags, etc. There might be scenes you can remove without altering the plot, or plot elements that could be shown in one scene rather than several (sometimes this can make for a stronger story, too.) Has anyone else read your work? They may be able to identify unnecessary parts.

Roxxsmom · May 1, 2015

One way I was able to cut my novel down from a 160k or so first draft to around 119k words was to trim some sentences, even scenes, combined some support characters, tighten up my dialog, and just make sure that every scene, heck every sentence if possible, did more than one thing in that it contributed to at least 2/3 of the following: plot, characterization and world building (in fantasy, the latter is also important).

Did it work? I dunno. The proof will ultimately be in whether or not it gets someone who wants to publish it.

I resent the query. Didn't think about the forwarding thing, so I just sent it as a new one with (corrected word count) in the subject line after the title and a short explanation in the opening paragraph.

Quilliam · May 1, 2015

http://jodierennerediting.blogspot.gr/2013/08/how-to-slash-your-word-count-by-20-40.html

http://www.aliventures.com/cut-novel-draft/

I found those two articles. I think they'll help me and whoever has the same problem as me. There is definitely meat in them.

The_Ink_Goddess · May 5, 2015

Quilliam said:
Is word count so significant, though? My novel is about 180,000 words. Should I be worried? It's women's fiction, by the way.

180,000 is...wicked high. There are always exceptions, but not usually that...exception-y exceptions. 120k is a push, 150k is - almost certainly not going to happen unless you're an already published author and/or all the agents you're querying know you.

Maybe it's just cause I write YA, where I recently finished a novel that was 80k and it seemed absurdly high (I cut it down to 70,000 with no problem). And, yeah, tbh, I'm not sure if 'less real' really counts. What I'm reading when you say that is 'a ton of subplots.' Subplots make me ack.

It could happen, if your voice is amazing, but...put it this way. Jane Eyre is 184k. Great Expectations, 183k. Try to think about your baby less in terms of something you love and more in terms of an agent looking at it, from an entirely new author, in their inbox, when the word count is comfortably double of the genre norm. Unless you're totally cool with keeping it back until you become a megastar. In which case, don't worry.

Btw, I'm not an agent, but I love your premise -- and that word count would still make me think, gah, do I really love it enough to read THAT much of it, and does this person know their genre?

ETA: Just saw your new post! Yeah, absolutely, think about it like that. (Although, seriously, keep hold of everything you cut out in a separate word doc.) You may need that stuff later. Also: given quite HOW long yours is, also think about subplots and what would really keep you hooked if you were a new reader, not just this (excellent) advice about the nuts and bolts. Although I found I cut so much when I was actually looking for 'what's the quickest in-character way somebody would say this.' My characters ramble soooooooo much in the first draft (and sometimes the second...third...fourth...)

Old Hack · May 5, 2015

Quilliam, that word-count is too long and is going to put some agents off. Why don't you put a sample up in Share Your Work, and see if people think it could be cut? That would help enormously, I bet.

CrastersBabies · May 5, 2015

I'm writing the grandaddy off all word count allowances (Epic fantasy) and I'm balking at 180,000.

I'd look into cutting. Or splitting into two (original plus sequel).

I don't think I know of an agent who will risk that kind of paper/print size on a debut, untested writer. Thems just the business.

mccardey · May 5, 2015

Am I the only one who has low-level word-counts? I can pull 70,000 - but it's not easy.

scifi_boy2002 · May 6, 2015

That's nothing. Years ago I had a query letter that had a misspelled word in it. I actually sent it out to several different publishers before I caught it. The funny thing is that I had several publishers request chapters based on the letter.

Roxxsmom · May 6, 2015

A single misspelled word is something most will forgive, especially if it looks like it's probably a typo. It's obviously a mistake, and everyone is human.

But having 195,000 words instead of 119,500 words as the count? That doesn't look like a typo, but instead a typical first-time fantasy writer who thinks she/he is the next GRRM or Robin Hobb. Agents who handle fantasy probably get several of these bloated word count opuses each day in their inboxes. It'll be an auto reject precisely because she'll assume it isn't a typo

PeteMC · May 7, 2015

mccardey said:
Am I the only one who has low-level word-counts? I can pull 70,000 - but it's not easy.

No you're not, I'm in the same boat. My debut (currently with editor) came in at 78k after I put it on a very high protein diet in my final revision, and that was a struggle. I write Urban Fantasy which doesn't tend to run to doorstops, but the thought of even attempting to write 180k for one book makes me feel a bit faint!

My first serious query blooper. What to do?

Roxxsmom

Beastly Fido

Cath

The mean one

Sage

Supreme Guessinator

Roxxsmom

Beastly Fido

Dreity

Roxxsmom

Beastly Fido

andiwrite

Quilliam

sheadakota

part of the human equation

EMaree

a demon for tea

Roxxsmom

Beastly Fido

Quilliam

newauth

gingerwoman

KateH

[insert witty title here]

Roxxsmom

Beastly Fido

Quilliam

The_Ink_Goddess

we're gonna make it out of the fire

Old Hack

Such a nasty woman

CrastersBabies

Burninator!

mccardey

scifi_boy2002

Roxxsmom

Beastly Fido

PeteMC

@PeteMC666