Same Sex Marriage Will Be Deadly

Never mind; there'll be plenty of immigrants eager to replace these missing kids.

No wait!
That's worse to people who think that way, isn't it?

Legalizing same-sex marriage devalues marriage and causes fewer heterosexual couples to marry...

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I have to ask... where does this come from? It's, like, the very first thing I hear bigots say when they want to whine about this, and they say it as if it's some great, known, well-documented fact.

I have never, ever, even sarcastically, heard a heterosexual person say, "You know... if they're letting gay people get married, I'm not sure it's all that cool anymore..."

Effect gay marriage has on heterosexual marriage = 0

Where? Why? What's going on? Why do they keep saying this?

ETA: How do they get away with saying this?

ETAtoA: I mean, seriously, it voids the entire argument. Anything said past that point has absolutely no value and other people should throw poop at the person talking.

ETAanotherA: So I support marriage equality, but even if I didn't... this argument would make me so angry that I'd have to start supporting it anyway just on principle because this person is just that wrong. OMG.

100% of all same-sex marriage couples will die at some point. FACT.
100% off all hetero marriage couples will die at some point. FACT.
100% of all people who ever have, will, won't, or might attend a marriage ceremony of a same-sex or hetero couple will die at some point. FACT.
99% of all jellyfish will die, while 1% are immortal. FACT.

Facts don't lie, people. This obviously proves that the 1% is very scary, and... wait... what was my point, again?

Oh yeah - I'm 82% tired of TV shows about weddings or something, and that's a fact.

So, if we hadn't legalized gay marriage eleven years ago, there'd be 900,000 more rugrats running around screaming and pulling my hair on the subway? Excellent. Can we legalize some more types of marriage?

heza said:

I have to ask... where does this come from? It's, like, the very first thing I hear bigots say when they want to whine about this, and they say it as if it's some great, known, well-documented fact.

I have never, ever, even sarcastically, heard a heterosexual person say, "You know... if they're letting gay people get married, I'm not sure it's all that cool anymore...".

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Excuse me! I heard someone say that just the other day.

Well, sort of someone. One of my characters. And he was kidding. But still.

rugcat said:

And unfortunately, it's not just some idiot with a blog asserting this. These are arguments presented by lawyers in court in front of judges in an attempt to convince them to uphold various state bans on same-sex marriage.

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This is one of my eyeballs bulging out of my head -->


ETA: Jackasses.

I'm with heza on the whole poop-throwing thing.

Let's assume, for a moment, that, in fact, 5% fewer women get married over the next 30 years because of gay marriage being legel.

Let's also assume that those women have 900,000 abortions over the same 30 year period.

So what? We should suppress the rights of one group in order to prevent another group of theoretical people from making a legal choice they are allowed to make today because why? Ohs Nos! Think of the potential children! Equality is so evil!

That's not to mention that if part of their argument is that legalizing same-sex marriage changes the social pressure for a family to consist of man+woman+children, doesn't it stand to reason that that it would DECREASE abortion rates among unmarried women? If that kind of thing is important to you.

Interestingly, I found this article reviewing the science behind SSM which cites the same study as the amicus brief, and shockingly, reaches a different conclusion.

Cyia said:

100% of all same-sex marriage couples will die at some point. FACT.

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This is not correct as is demonstrated by the following texts on the subject.

Vince524 said:

This is not correct as is demonstrated by the following texts on the subject.

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Wait, Twilight has same-sex marriages?

“nearly 900,000 more children of the next generation would be aborted as a result of their mothers never marrying."

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So the crime rate is going to drop precipitously because of same-sex marriage? Interesting...

rugcat said:

[SUB][/SUB] I assume you're referring to the controversial study linking abortion to lower crime rates.

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Yes. And kudos to you for stating it just so.

So all the men will be flocking to other men? I can kinda understand why. We women tend to be insufferable. Now if you'll excuse me, gotta get myself knocked up and have an abortion because of the gay couple next door. How dare those gay men not offer their companionship to single women like me?

Amadan said:

Wait, Twilight has same-sex marriages?

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Missread the same sex part in that

rugcat said:

[SUB][/SUB] I assume you're referring to the controversial study linking abortion to lower crime rates.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legalized_abortion_and_crime_effect

So yes, if both theories are true then the more gay people who marry the less crime we have. They are simply doing their best to make America safer for the heteros.

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fwiw, I find the theories involving lead more compelling (and scientifically sound) than Leavitt.

Wonder if there's some twenty-years-down-the-road environmental toxin people will conflate with gay marriage taking hold. Environmental estrogens?

rugcat said:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opini...c509d4-e7a3-11e4-aae1-d642717d8afa_story.html

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I almost choked on my coffee reading that article, I was laughing so hard.

It's clearly very easy to qualify as a lawyer in Utah. No brain required. Unless, of course, he is cleverly parting idiot clients from large sums of money.

I actually think the fact that the anti-gay-marriage side is resorting to arguments like this is a sign of desperation on their part. They know this might be the last battle, and I think they know they're very likely to lose.

Is there some kind of a limit to the number of marriage licenses that can be issued in a year? Is this how fewer heteros will get married? Maybe they should just make more? Or would that devalue marriage the same way printing more money devalues currency? Is this going to crash the economy too??

jennontheisland said:

Is this going to crash the economy too??

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Apparently so.

Back in the day, I wanted to diddle with the Pomeranian triplets one cage over from me in the puppy mill. The breeder said, "No profit in mutts."

Then the rescue people cut off my balls. So, maybe it is an economic question.

I just don't care anymore.

jennontheisland said:

Is there some kind of a limit to the number of marriage licenses that can be issued in a year? Is this how fewer heteros will get married? Maybe they should just make more? Or would that devalue marriage the same way printing more money devalues currency? Is this going to crash the economy too??

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No. It has to do with the number of wedding cakes that can be baked.

Y'all are talking about freedom to love, human rights and yadda, yadda, yadda, but has anyone thought about the poor repressed baker who now has to make all those extra cakes?

Vince524 said:

No. It has to do with the number of wedding cakes that can be baked.

Y'all are talking about freedom to love, human rights and yadda, yadda, yadda, but has anyone thought about the poor repressed baker who now has to make all those extra cakes?

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Maybe they should order pizza instead.