Calling all Superheroes! AW needs you! Apply here!

SaraP · Apr 1, 2015

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!

The call is out - AW is in need of superhero services and requires your help!

Please apply within thread - list your name, motto or tagline, and special abilities. Please do NOT list weaknesses, the name of your pet, and where you do your laundry*.

Good luck!

PorterStarrByrd · Apr 1, 2015

Garbage Man ...with my deadly

STENCH RAY

available on Monday's and Thursdays or by special arrangement.

Gilroy Cullen · Apr 1, 2015

Super Rooster
Tagline: "I'll be Bock."

Special powers: Sonic crows, adamantium lined talons, and steel throwing feathers.

SaraP · Apr 1, 2015

Porter, you didn't...

*COUGH*

... need to show how it works...

*COUGHCOUGHCOUGH*

rhymegirl · Apr 1, 2015

NoseItAll

I can sniff out an April Fool's joke from miles away!

quickWit · Apr 1, 2015

QUESTION: Does this position come with vision and dental?

SaraP · Apr 1, 2015

Considering the vision abilities of many superheros and the dental... erm... peculiarities of others...

*hands out a pair of sunglasses and fake vampire fangs*

There ya go.

Pyekett · Apr 1, 2015

Bartleby the Scrivener
tagline: "I would prefer not to"
special abilities: stopping time

Stew21 · Apr 1, 2015

quickWit said:
QUESTION: Does this position come with vision and dental?

Don't you think you're more of a sidekick? I mean. You really are. Maybe there's another queue for that.

Myrealana · Apr 1, 2015

I'm Batcat.

I will fight crime whenever I feel like it. I will bat crime around furiously and then run away and stare at crime accusingly from the top of the bookshelf.

Or, I might take a nap. You never know.

quickWit · Apr 1, 2015

Stew21 said:
Don't you think you're more of a sidekick? I mean. You really are. Maybe there's another queue for that.

...and that's how villains are made, kids!

*throws down sunglasses & fake teeths*
*stomps off looking for villain thread*

You'll RUE the day you did this!

Ari Meermans · Apr 1, 2015

quickWit said:
...and that's how villains are made, kids!

*throws down sunglasses & fake teeths*
*stomps off looking for villain thread*

You'll RUE the day you did this!

Aw, now, grasshopper, don't be that way. Come, give us a kiss.

Sage · Apr 1, 2015

quickWit said:
...and that's how villains are made, kids!

*throws down sunglasses & fake teeths*
*stomps off looking for villain thread*

You'll RUE the day you did this!

Psst. It's here: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=304964

BenPanced · Apr 1, 2015

I'm gonna be THE MOST POPULAR SUPERHERO EVARZ! in the history of superheroes!

I'm now COFFEE GUY! I make the morning deliveries of coffee, hot tea, bagels, donuts, and croissants.

Brightdreamer · Apr 1, 2015

Daydreamer, a.k.a the Caped Escaper

Catchphrase: "What if?"

Powers: After being bitten by a radioactive pillow, my daydreams have become so powerful I can physically escape into them. From pickpockets to murderers, from petty local corruption to maniacal global terrorists, no evil is too powerful for the Daydreamer to run away from! Crime? What crime? I'm riding a dragon to the crystal moon palace, here!

CathleenT · Apr 1, 2015

Okay, Coffee Guy gets my vote.

cray · Apr 1, 2015

*swoops in*

*preens*

Maggie Maxwell · Apr 1, 2015

Hi there, I'm Superhero-Writer-Gal, with the ability to create superheroes at will and fill a piece of paper with their stories and details.
Motto: Don't make me make you a villain in my novel.

lilyWhite · Apr 1, 2015

I am the Sapphic Siren! I possess the ability to be hilariously homoerotic, in the sense that I make myself look like a total idiot in doing so.

My motto is: =^_^=

Write_At_1st_Light · Apr 1, 2015

Up in The Cloud! It's a Qwert! It's a YuioPlane! It's...

SuputerDRAC ! ! !

"I vant to byte your NEC !!!"

I can codify you from my cold coffin keyboard! I can inflict 723,441,954 mega-BITES per second! And I'll not retreat from a crossed JOYSTICK! Bah to you shape-Shift-Keyers! Check out THESE Blue Tooths, Ha-HAH!

cray · Apr 1, 2015

*does the real superhero thing......
scoops up everyone in this thread....

delivers them to the safe house for safeness*

quickWit · Apr 1, 2015

Yes!

*steps to front of the line*
*waits heroically*

Jersey Chick · Apr 1, 2015

I am CABANAMAN! (well, Cabana Woman, but it doesn't really quite flow that way)
Tagline: Protecting the Beaches from the likes of Sunburn Guy and the Sandkicker
Special Abilities - able to apply sunscreen in one coat, find the best spot on the sand, and ride the waves like there's no tomorrow.

cray · Apr 1, 2015

quickWit said:
Yes!

*steps to front of the line*
*waits heroically*

Jersey Chick said:
I am CABANAMAN! (well, Cabana Woman, but it doesn't really quite flow that way)
Tagline: Protecting the Beaches from the likes of Sunburn Guy and the Sandkicker
Special Abilities - able to apply sunscreen in one coat, find the best spot on the sand, and ride the waves like there's no tomorrow.

*swoops in. picks up qw and jersey girl*

*lands*

listen you two, i'm happy to save you but for dawgs sake,....
my eyes are up here!

quickWit · Apr 1, 2015

Don't be jealous, cray. Its so very ugly.

*resumes staring at jersey's rack*

Calling all Superheroes! AW needs you! Apply here!

You can't forget those you've loved

nutruring tomorrows criminals today

Handsome servant of a redhead

You can't forget those you've loved

It's a New Year!

Totally Ninja!

You can't forget those you've loved

I need no hot / Words.

I aim to misbehave

Totally Ninja!

MacAllister's Official Minion & Greeter

Supreme Guessinator

THE BLUEBERRY QUEEN OF HADES (he/him)

Just Another Lazy Perfectionist

I write

Superior Life form

Making Einstein cry since 1994

Love and Excitement

Writer of Nothingnesses

Superior Life form

Totally Ninja!

Up all night to get Loki

Superior Life form

Totally Ninja!