Are all women really super moody emotional creatures?

Jcomp · Apr 4, 2006

I don't believe that, or want to believe that. Just asking.

My girl, God bless her, she seemed so nice and logical and secure in herself when we were "courting." Now I'm dealing with all of the baggage that she had hidden away. Jealousy, mood swings, insecurities, possessiveness, the whole jazz. I tell my boys about it and they're just like "yeah man, that's the way relationships go." Is it just me? I haven't been in a serious relationship in a few years, is it just the shock of the adjustment?

Stew21 · Apr 4, 2006

nope. we're not. Some are. Some are not. I'm not. Never been jealous, never been possessive. I have a friend whose girlfriend got very "stalker-ish" on him after they had dated a while. I've been married for 4 years and never considered doing to my husband what she does to her boyfriend. Some of us are secure, others are not.
Sorry you are dealing with all the baggage, but unfortunately some people are just put together and wired that way, and you may be stuck with those things if you have other reasons to like and stay with the girl. YOu have to decide if those traits are "hills to die on". Only you can decide that.
One final thought on this: if you decide to stay with her and know that these are traits that she has, you can't complain about them. You'll make it worse and raise her suspicions. And well, you can't complain about getting stung if you are the kid with a stick poking a beehive.

Shadow_Ferret · Apr 4, 2006

I have never not met a moody emotional woman. Granted they have varying degrees of it.

That isn't to say that I don't love them any less.

You just have to learn when to duck and cover.

E_B · Apr 4, 2006

I think all women are moody, but we might have it coming to us. Is it the young lady you dunked on??

E_B

Stew21 · Apr 4, 2006

Shadow_Ferret said:
I have never not met a moody emotional woman. Granted they have varying degrees of it.

That isn't to say that I don't love them any less.

You just have to learn when to duck and cover.

varying degrees, indeed...I didn't say I wasn't emotional, it just typically doesn't come out "toxic" like he is describing. My poor DH had to deal with me during two pregnancies. He was a saint. I couldn't even stand to be around me. High hormones make us all fair game susceptible to an attitude problem. And yes, learn when to duck and cover.
BUT, sometime its not just "mood swing" sometimes it is "trait" as mentioned above. Some are prone to those bouts more than others. Some of us never get jealous.

poetinahat · Apr 4, 2006

I think the big personality 'changes' come from three things:

1) keys to the kingdom - once you've settled in for the long haul, the guards go down. People don't worry so much about being on their best behaviour, or hiding the warts, as they do during 'courting'.

2) cabin fever - the more time you spend together, the more chance you get on each other's nerves in some way. Plus, even the things that don't really bother you become ammunition in little skirmishes.

3) waking up and smelling the coffee - it's serious. You could actually end up with each other *for life*. But... it's not perfect! Shouldn't it be perfect?

But that doesn't mean that whatever weirdness you're experiencing is necessarily normal. Best thing to do, I think - even though you didn't ask - is talk to her about it before she hears that you've been telling your boys about it.

Hope it all works out -- they may be some work, but aren't women great?

jenngreenleaf · Apr 4, 2006

I can be moody sometimes, I'm not ashamed to admit this. Why? Various reasons, most of which are completely irrational and likely to be stupid . . . if falling upon male ears. Talking to other women about what's causing my moodiness results in complete validation, though.

Most of the time I'm really a go with the flow type of person. I have to be with a four, five and six year old in the house . . .

Jcomp · Apr 4, 2006

E_B said:
I think all women are moody, but we might have it coming to us. Is it the young lady you dunked on??

E_B

Nah. Dunking on a girl and then going out with her has "Vince Vaughn movie" written all over it though.

tiny · Apr 4, 2006

I get real emotional while I'm beating the crap out of a guy in the ring. Does that count?

jenngreenleaf · Apr 4, 2006

tiny terror said:
I get real emotional while I'm beating the crap out of a guy in the ring. Does that count?

If it doesn't, it should!

aadams73 · Apr 4, 2006

Stew21 said:
nope. we're not. Some are. Some are not. I'm not.

Me either. When we first married, my husband used to ask me when my fangs were going to come out(his ex turned into a B***h the second the wedding rings were on). They haven't yet.

I also refuse to be a nag. That just makes you and him miserable.

September skies · Apr 4, 2006

Not all of us. Like Stew said, I have days that I may feel a little more emotional or slighly more irritable, but usually no one notices. I definitely do not have a jealousy problem. Hubby and I trust each other. (all my friends are male - I'm really into baseball out here) He has nothing but female friends. It is not uncommon for me to be out having coffee with a friend and there he is too. (a few of our friends think its weird.)

On the other hand when I was single, I had a couple of boyfriends that were horrible! They were moody, jealous as heck - and one stalked me!

So - you see -- this is not just associated with women. We are not all the same. Some of us are quite normal.

So, GET OFF OUR BACKS ALREADY! GEESH.

Jcomp · Apr 4, 2006

poetinahat said:
they may be some work, but aren't women great?

I'll drink to that.

The thing is, she's better than this. To me she's just reacting lazily to situations, and I can't stand that. If I thought she that was "just the way she is," I probably wouldn't still be with her. She's a bright girl, sensible, she knows that how she gets sometimes is just off the wall. I understand, I was very much the same way some years ago. Carrying a lot of baggage, being bested by my insecurities, jealous, etc. I worked on it though, because I knew that wasn't the best I could offer to someone I cared enough about to be in a relationship with them. Getting angry, yelling, storming out of the room, that's all lazy. It takes effort to control your temper and just communicate whatever's troubling you. I always tell her, I don't mind you getting upset, you're entitled to that, and Lord knows I'll do some things to get you upset, but her behavior upon getting upset is where the problems really lie. If you sit and talk it out I can hear your side, you can hear mine, and we can find a solution. You fly off the handle and nobody wins. And I just can't believe that intelligent, grown a$$ people, male or female, are incapable of gaining a modicum of control over their emotions.

Perks · Apr 4, 2006

Are all women really super moody emotional creatures?

I think you should show her this post. Then I think you should run away to the utmost of your ability. Lol.

Jcomp · Apr 4, 2006

Perks said:
I think you should show her this post. Then I think you should run away to the utmost of your ability. Lol.

That's why I date short chicks. If ever I need to run, they can't hope to match my stride. If they want to hit me, good luck getting that fist up here lil Ms. Baggins! Learned that in high school, dated a girl that was 6'2, on the lower end of plus size, and very heavy handed as my face found out. Lord A'mighty.

badducky · Apr 4, 2006

Well, I could answer that, except that I'm a man, so I don't really pay attention to women.

But my car is a moody, emotional creature. And my dog is nothing without her moral support.

badducky · Apr 4, 2006

Oh, and Jcomp? I've always liked tall women.

When you're dating tall women, it feels like you're accomplishing something.

rhymegirl · Apr 4, 2006

Answer to posted question:

Yup.

Jcomp · Apr 4, 2006

badducky said:
Oh, and Jcomp? I've always liked tall women.

When you're dating tall women, it feels like you're accomplishing something.

Well, I'm 6'4, so "tall" to me is relative. I can't imagine dating an Amazon taller than me. I'd be afraid she'd chokeslam me the first time we argued.

Perks · Apr 4, 2006

badducky said:
When you're dating tall women, it feels like you're accomplishing something.

???

maestrowork · Apr 4, 2006

Different people, different temperaments. My first girlfriend hid everything, until at the end she totally blew up and I had no idea what went wrong (and that was "my problem" she said -- because "I was clueless and I should have figured it out..."). I had a few other relationships that went south because of lack of trust and emotional openness (partially my fault as well -- can't just blame the other person, you know?) or jealousy or possessiveness. But I've learned a lot from these relationships.

However, I've also met some wonderful, open, honest, what-you-see-is-what-you-get women. Many of them ARE magnificent. Things don't usually work out because of various reasons, but never because they're moody, emotional, jealous, possessive, etc. (let's just say sometimes we fall in and out of love through no faults of ours).

Relationship is work. You don't just sail through it without any hiccups. But the big picture must be sound. If you find yourself fighting more than loving, then something might really be wrong. The tricky part is how do you know when the relationship is not right, or when it's just problems that can be worked out.

NeuroFizz · Apr 4, 2006

Jcomp said:
That's why I date short chicks. If ever I need to run, they can't hope to match my stride. If they want to hit me, good luck getting that fist up here lil Ms. Baggins!

Oookay. I think her majesty, Tiny Terror, might have something to say about this. I suspect you'd get just one or two of those long strides down before the room went dark.

Pat~ · Apr 4, 2006

Are all women really super moody emotional creatures?

Not to be nosy, but something to consider...is she on the pill? I'm pretty typical (only periodic moodiness), but I was an emotional trainwreck when I tried the pill. The jealousy is really rooted in insecurity, and is a slightly different issue. Insecurity is a deep-seated, not easily cured problem. She'll need a stable husband, lots of little reassurances, and maybe even some counseling to deal with that.

tiny · Apr 4, 2006

NeuroFizz said:
Oookay. I think her majesty, Tiny Terror, might have something to say about this. I suspect you'd get just one or two of those long strides down before the room went dark.

That's funny Fizz, cause I was just thinking back to my last phase of training, when I fought a guy who was six four. I have no problem with tall guys. Shoot, spear, shuck, whatever, they're on the ground. Plus, I can kick way above my 5'1" frame.

But emotional... man, I've seen guys cry over football. That's emotional.

Jcomp · Apr 4, 2006

pb10220 said:
Not to be nosy, but something to consider...is she on the pill? I'm pretty typical (only periodic moodiness), but I was an emotional trainwreck when I tried the pill. The jealousy is really rooted in insecurity, and is a slightly different issue. Insecurity is a deep-seated, not easily cured problem. She'll need a stable husband, lots of little reassurances, and maybe even some counseling to deal with that.

U know what, she actually is on the pill. Hmmm....

Are all women really super moody emotional creatures?

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