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View Full Version : A Story About Weremammoths, or, Help Me Figure Out What I Just Wrote



buz
02-08-2015, 08:10 PM
Who I'm Looking For: Someone I've seen around the forums. I mean, I'd like to sort of know who you are a little bit. :p Trust issues, yanno.

What It Is and What I'm Looking For:

So here's a little story...

For a stupidly long portion of last year, I was in a big fat rut, and writing was like trying to eat a live Galapagos tortoise. So a friend or two says to me, maybe jokingly, I'm still not sure, that I should try erotica, because it's so far out of my comfort zone, and maybe it will unstick me. Jokingly, I say, because I'm asexual and aromantic...

So then I thought, you know, weremammoth sex, because that's what one thinks of immediately, right? Right. Sure.

And I wrote it. Sort of. The thing is, I don't actually know what I've written. It's kind of silly, as per my usual leanings. There's sex, and it's sort of half-serious and half-tongue-in-cheek, and the Neanderthals in it say blimey occasionally,* and there's...you know. Weremammoths. I don't think it's erotica. Eromedy? Absurdist romantic erotica? Fantasy with lots of orgasms? I'm just very confused.

Therefore, I was hoping someone might want to, uh, read a really weird thing with said lewd material and tell me a) if it is terrible and b) what I might do to it...in order to shove it into an actual genre. Or not. I could not have an actual genre, I guess. Because maverick. I just have no measuring-stick to know what's going on here.

Sooo...um. It's 40,600 words of I-am-not-sure-what.

*and actually, if you happen to be British, I could use some help making them sound even more ridiculously Blighty-y...:p assuming I go with the ridiculous.

Swap? Yes, I'll do swaps, although my usefulness in certain areas is limited. For instance, in erotica and romance...:\ guh. This is so awkward. Anyway. Other than that, broad categories like literary, nonfic, and mainstream can be hit-or-miss. I'm not that familiar with MG and YA in terms of genre expectations but am happy enough to give it a shot. I mostly read low fantasy, general speculative/soft SF, weird stuff, some thriller-type things, etc, but am willing to give anything a shot.

Oldbrasscat
02-08-2015, 09:58 PM
Hahaha, a friend pointed me toward your post, because I write weird shifters. If you're just looking for a quick read and some developmental stuff, I can help, if you don't mind waiting until the weekend of the 14th. (Lots of dayjob stuff happening, and not much time for my own writing at the moment, but I hate to see a weird shifter pass by without at least saying hi.) If you're looking for in-depth, I'm probably not your gal until at least May. But leave a note here or PM me and let me know.

buz
02-08-2015, 10:59 PM
Hahaha, a friend pointed me toward your post, because I write weird shifters. If you're just looking for a quick read and some developmental stuff, I can help, if you don't mind waiting until the weekend of the 14th. (Lots of dayjob stuff happening, and not much time for my own writing at the moment, but I hate to see a weird shifter pass by without at least saying hi.) If you're looking for in-depth, I'm probably not your gal until at least May. But leave a note here or PM me and let me know.

Totally looking for overall impressions at the moment :) I will shoot you a pm. Thank you! (And hi there )

Little Ming
02-08-2015, 11:45 PM
Buuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!

*tackles and hugs*


Who I'm Looking For: Someone I've seen around the forums. I mean, I'd like to sort of know who you are a little bit. :p Trust issues, yanno.

Oh. Well. Um. Okay.

*hangs head and shuffles away*

But on a serious note, I have no idea about romance or erotica. I just crashed your thread to say hi and good luck.

So, hi and good luck. :hi:

buz
02-09-2015, 12:22 AM
Buuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!

*tackles and hugs*

OMG BLANK COSMIC CHINESE VOOOIIIIIIIDDD *hugs the swirl of oblivion *



But on a serious note, I have no idea about romance or erotica. I just crashed your thread to say hi and good luck.

So, hi and good luck. :hi:

Hahaha, thanks. THANKS FOR NOTHING

I mean, thank you for your love. It is deeply appreciated. *licks your earhole*

Unimportant
02-09-2015, 01:09 AM
Me! Me me me me me! Ooh, pick me! I wanna read it!!!!

LAgrunion
02-09-2015, 11:14 AM
I think you should put in graphic illustrations of weremammoth intercourse and turn it into a graphic novel. Instant. Best. Seller.

I know you can draw.

Katana
02-10-2015, 01:05 AM
Hey, if you're still looking for another beta, and you deem me worthy, I'm open to something offbeat and horribly twisted. :D

SWest
02-10-2015, 01:15 AM
Marry me, buzhi.

mirandashell
02-10-2015, 01:24 AM
I'll do it! I love your twisted thinking.

I'm not very experienced in erotica (well, not in reading it.....) but I am good at tongue-in-cheek and I can certainly help with the British sense of sarcasm!

buz
02-10-2015, 03:19 AM
I think you should put in graphic illustrations of weremammoth intercourse and turn it into a graphic novel. Instant. Best. Seller.

I know you can draw.

Oh, yes. It would work beautifully. Cubism is good for sex comics, right?


Marry me, buzhi.

Oh, dear, you keep teasing me so...:D


Hey, if you're still looking for another beta, and you deem me worthy, I'm open to something offbeat and horribly twisted. :D


I'll do it! I love your twisted thinking.

I'm not very experienced in erotica (well, not in reading it.....) but I am good at tongue-in-cheek and I can certainly help with the British sense of sarcasm!

Lol, I'm not really sure how twisted it is. ...Well okay maybe it...um. Depends on your metric...?

:p

Anyhow. Thank you guys, you're the sweetest. :D I would love to have you guys read it. I did just get back feedback from my first reader (much faster than I thought...but she's superpowered or whatever so) and I'd like to do some of the edits she suggested before I impose...;) So can I PM y'all in a day or two? :D Thank you so much for the offers!

SWest
02-10-2015, 03:33 AM
...

Oh, dear, you keep teasing me so...:D


...

I live for the day you return my affections.
In a very high concept, transcendent way, and stuff.
'Cause otherwise you're way to young for me.
And I wasn't quite finished with those affections...

*dots all the i-s with tiny hearts*

slhuang
02-10-2015, 08:32 AM
Me! Me me me me me! Ooh, pick me! I wanna read it!!!!

YES. YES YOU DO. :D :D :D


Marry me, buzhi.

Sorry, she's taken. :tongue

That said, we do have an open childfree polyamorous marriage, so . . .



I did just get back feedback from my first reader (much faster than I thought...but she's superpowered or whatever so)

*basks*


and I'd like to do some of the edits she suggested before I impose...;) Yew trust mah feedbacks all on their lonesome? *basks moarer*

Okay guys, for shiz, this weremammoth book is one of the best things I've ever read, and YOU ALL WANT TO READ IT NAOW. It's the sort of thing I wanted to go on Twitter and IMMEDIATELY TELL EVERYONE TO BUY but I couldn't because IT ISN'T PUBLISHED YET so instead I stomped around angrily for a while and smashed holes in figurines.

There is indeed some graphic sex, but it's not, like, a "plot what plot?" kind of porn storeh, it's got an incredible storyline and character arcs and is SO SO GRIPPING and I'm gonna stop talking now cuz I'm about to spoil it for everyone.

Sadly, however, my superpowers did not extend to helping buz categorize it. *pawns that off on fewcher betas* *wanders off cluelessly*

Kayley
02-11-2015, 04:55 AM
Maybe weremammoths will be the next bestseller? I trust buz's writing and pencils are my go-to source for opinions, so I think we're onto something here.

As for betaing...I'm too busy at the moment, but I'm glad to see you've gotten plenty of responses.

:nothing

Putputt
02-11-2015, 06:57 AM
Okay guys, for shiz, this weremammoth book is one of the best things I've ever read, and YOU ALL WANT TO READ IT NAOW. It's the sort of thing I wanted to go on Twitter and IMMEDIATELY TELL EVERYONE TO BUY but I couldn't because IT ISN'T PUBLISHED YET so instead I stomped around angrily for a while and smashed holes in figurines.


LIES. You immediately threatened me into reading it so you'd have someone to squee to!!!

slhuang
02-11-2015, 10:30 AM
LIES. You immediately threatened me into reading it so you'd have someone to squee to!!!

Oh. Well. Yes. I also did do that. :D

ursley
02-26-2015, 06:21 PM
*and actually, if you happen to be British, I could use some help making them sound even more ridiculously Blighty-y...:p assuming I go with the ridiculous.

I'll give you hand with the Brit bit. Although, if you're looking for posh, best ask another.