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need a mentor for a story

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WilliamBixby

This is kind of a selfish request, but I'm in the process of rewriting something I wrote a while back (because I can't seem to write about anything else) and I seem to be completely out of inspiration. Maia's read the last draft and had complaints about the archiac style and how difficult it was to understand, so I've been working on getting the sentence structure simpler. They're long and there are big words, but aside from the first few pages (which need to be gone over again) and the last few, I like to think they're a hell of a lot easier to understand than they used to be. Anyway, I'm hoping maybe some input could get me back to work. I'm sick of staring at the screen. It's about 6000 words. If anyone's interested, let me know.
 

RichMar

Hmmmm

Maybe smaller words? Maybe complete it on your own? Maybe thinking about the reader? Maybe stop sniffling?

Just some thoughts.
 

mammamaia

good for you, bill!

glad to see you're back at work on that one... hope you find someone 'just right' to give you feedback...

love and hugs, maia
 
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