Important people in your life

past and present?

Someone who made a big difference for the good. Someone who taught you something priceless, loved you when no one else did, saved you.

For me it was my maternal grandmother, gone about ten years now. She was the most selfless, giving, nurturing person I've ever had in my life. She was born and raised very poor to immigrant parents, never thought of herself first, or even second, an embodiment of the notion that it is better to give than receive. Simple, found joy in the simplest of things - she once told me that that was her secret to life - but not unintelligent; there was nothing you could tell her that she wouldn't be able to grasp. I have never met anyone before or since who was so comfortable in her own skin. And she raised me for most of my childhood.

While my parents were off doing what a lot of divorced people do, trying to find happiness for themselves, my grandmother, though she worked a full time job in a toy store - what a big bonus for a kid - was always there for me, taught me, an admitted excitement freak, how to find joy in the simple things. And though I still struggle with this, when I get too lost or depressed I hear her words, feel her presence, and it centers me.

How 'bout you? It's good to recognize the people who gave us, taught us, and love us most.

cray said:

i don't really have a good answer to the original question but i do want to say that if anyone needs someone to look up to they can use me.

i'm actually not as terrible as i think i am.

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Hey, I could always use another mentor. But will you love me when the chips are down? That's the real question.

I had a couple teachers who meant a lot to me, too. One that comes to mind was when I took a course on how to tackle my state's teacher's exam, a woman who I'd later find out was an Emmy winner, pulled my essay out of the fifty or sixty she'd reviewed and read it to the class. I'm no longer a teacher, but that helped me believe that I could actually write something that someone else would want to read.

KTC said:

My paternal grandmother was my everything.

My Grade 10 English teacher LITERALLY saved my life. He stopped me and asked, "Who hurt you?" And followed through from there...

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Wow, that was touching. Actual chills.

kkbe said:

My mom. She stepped up when my dad died suddenly. He was 30. There were four of us kids and one on the way. We were instantly poor. She got a job as a waitress, put herself through college, got an MA. She taught us responsibility, gave us a great work ethic, taught us to take care of ourselves and not count on anybody else to do that.

My husband, who also loves and supports me unconditionally.

And people here, without whom I would be sitting in my blue room, by myself, writing for nobody.

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Really impressive about your mom. When my dad was ten he and his six sisters lost their father when he was in his late 30s. He'd been a bar owner, so his family that had been comfortable became poor overnight. His wife spoke not a word of English, none of the kids were grown, and so they went on Welfare. It changed the trajectory of the family. My father, right out of high school, got into a very perilous profession to support the family and that contributed to his premature death. I was just out of college and the older of two and so I had to pick up the slack. The bigger effect was that neither of my kids ever got to know him.

The fact that your mother was able to keep your family on track, to me, indicates a big heart and a very strong spirit. A lot of pride in there, too.

Publius said:

Yep, I'm gonna say it, my kids.

They're really the only reason I give a shit about anything anymore. They're the only reason I get up in the morning. And they're the only reason I haven't totally lost it yet.

I apologize for probably ruining an otherwise positive thread, January and February suck in Buffalo.

Seriously though, I didn't realize that someone could care about me they way they do. Even when I'm being a total asshole, they still manage to bring a little bit of good out of me. Before they were born, I had just about had it with everything. I'm actually a much more positive person now.

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No, a very positive post. Kids! Definitely. They keep you positive. At least when you're around them. Maybe we've all dropped a lot of our negative instincts since we've become parents.

You can't welcome a kid into the world and say, "By the way, it is totally absurd." Kids are on a need-to-know basis.

I grew up in northeast, too. But Buffalo's winters are on a different scale.