The Great Cat Explosion of '08
One time, back around 2008, my mom was shredding papers while I was sitting in a recliner across the room with my two kitties sleeping on my lap.
Everything was fine at first. My mom shredded and the kitties just laid there ignoring the noise while I tried to read the newspaper past all the fur. After a while the shredder started getting full, so my mom took a break to empty it out and then went back to shredding. That's when *it* happened.
I guess the kitties weren't expecting the shredding noise to start back quite so suddenly, because when it did, they both exploded from my lap in terror. One clawed her way up my shoulder and over the top of the recliner while the other scrambled in place until he got his feet under him and used my leg to launch himself across the room.
It all happened so fast I didn't have time to react. I just sat there looking at my mom with my mouth hanging open until I realized I was in pain. Turns out the one kitty had put a few nice puncture wounds in my shoulder and the other one had torn all the way through the six sheets of the newspaper which had been on my lap, and was then still able to put a gash through my pants leg, and my right thigh. Ouch.
To say the least, I still have a scar on my thigh and my mom now always checks to see if there are any kitties on my lap BEFORE she uses the shredder.
May you and your shredder have a long and happy life together! 
