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badducky
04-01-2006, 03:18 AM
I'm single. Again. I hate it.

For all you married writers out there, and all you non-single writers out there, where did you find your mate?

How did you get them to get over the fact that you were a writer?

Perks
04-01-2006, 03:19 AM
Is that the worst thing about you?

badducky
04-01-2006, 03:31 AM
The worst thing about me -- per my public profile -- is that I require a swimming pool of caffiene to function in society.

So, are you with someone, Perks? How did you meet them?

Daughter of Faulkner
04-01-2006, 03:47 AM
their agents, editors, producers, publishers AND other writers and go on to have very happy lives working as a team. I have seen this time and time again and it seems to work beautifully unless one has a HUGE ego when the other is getting all the attention.

Then, others marry exact opposites. Whatever works, huh?!

Keep writing!

:e2BIC:

Perks
04-01-2006, 03:51 AM
The worst thing about me -- per my public profile -- is that I require a swimming pool of caffiene to function in society.

So, are you with someone, Perks? How did you meet them?
Before I realized I wanted to write. The old bait-and-switch. Hmmm. I guess I see your point.

CaroGirl
04-01-2006, 04:05 AM
I've been married, like, forever to a guy I met in university, before I decided that fiction writing would be my passion. He's my opposite: an engineer (huh?). And, in order to maintain this marriage thingie, I have to work at a job I hate: Tech Writing. Ah, the sacrifices we must make.

What do you enjoy doing? Tennis, hiking, swimming, what? Join a club for *insert interest here* and meet like-minded people. Take a course, or several, in support of your hobby, whatever that might be. Good luck. Life mates don't simply fall into one's lap.

Cat Scratch
04-01-2006, 04:08 AM
You say writer like it's a bad thing?

Try my route--marry a musician.

badducky
04-01-2006, 04:11 AM
I tried the engineer in college thing. Didn't work out.
Incidentally, I would have KILLED SOMEONE to join the Society for Women Engineers... I hate that male engineers can join but the rest of us can't!

Forbidden Snowflake
04-01-2006, 04:16 AM
Love found me. And it stayed. So keep your fingers crossed.

SpookyWriter
04-01-2006, 04:36 AM
My ex-wife was an accountant. We went to college together and lived a happy life for nearly twenty years. Times and people change, so I am and have remained single for seven years. My choice is to be alone -- not because I am fat/ugly/poor but because I did my relationship with such gusto I don't have the energy or desire to go through that again.

Besides, all this freetime gives me the opportunity to writer, travel, and not worry about a companion.

aadams73
04-01-2006, 04:36 AM
My better half is a programmer. We both have the same intensity in what we do. It works for us.

jackie106
04-01-2006, 05:09 AM
I met my boyfriend through a long-time friend who is a writer. They used to read at the same poetry show.

Jackie

September skies
04-01-2006, 10:22 AM
Hi badducky. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/smile.gif I know people always say things like "it'll happen when you least expect it" -- but sometimes, it doesn't hurt to help it along a little.

Here is a thread about how people on AW met their significant other:
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=25534&highlight=meet+significant

tiny
04-01-2006, 10:24 AM
He sent me a letter :D

ATP
04-01-2006, 11:05 AM
There is a quote from a famous writer, who said that a writer should find and marry a wealthy woman.

In more contemporary times, you might try for a particular market. Are you in your 40s, or 30s or 20s? This makes a difference in terms of your potential mate demographics.

Older (western) writers are likely to find single, divorced women in their 30s, and who likely have a child, and are of some if not full means. If you're a character of savory habits, but limited means, there is an improved probability that this type of woman will be willing to make a compromise. Age and experience has generally made them more practical and less air-headed about their 'list' of potential mate characteristics. (And women everywhere always have a 'list', and usually a long one).

You might have to lift your game a bit. Excessive coffee drinking is no good for the health or your demeanor it seems. Are you fit and healthy? Not overweight? Though, if you are an older writer, living in the US, based on the current US population figures as regards weight, there is a very good chance that you are overweight. Younger US women are less likely to be accepting of this factor.

If you're fit, healthy, not overweight, not shabby in presentation, then you might start hanging out at gallery openings and exhibitions. Seems a lot of women (older, single divorcees) spend quite a bit of time in the arts field (besides women generally). It takes effort, this mate seeking business. You should have numerous possibilities as to how to obtain your objective, and as a writer, it need not cost an arm and leg.

One of the things I would suggest you do is go and read some of the hundreds of books written by women for women on how to get a mate. No, really. For all our simplicity that equally so intrigues and exasperates women, we men generally have too few avenues or ways to put ourselves out there.Other than the regular tried and true 'male' ways. But, women have been doing it for centuries, and have learned more ways than men.If nothing else, reading about this from a woman's perspective will open your eyes, and perhaps give you an insight of how to do things differently.I would strongly suggest you go to a public library for this material, being in keeping with what I presume are your limited means.

Being a writer of limited means is not looked upon so kindly in numerous countries - you're a bit behind the eight ball already. A little change in the packaging and presentation, and repositioning, might both be necessary and work wonders.

Good luck!

ATP

ETA: The alternative, the so-called masculine way, is to learn to 'just get on with life', and 'take it on the chin', and not worry so much about one's independence. This might be a good thing, learning to live within one's own skin, as one is. It takes time, but it can make for a surer character. And certainly, it can help in putting out the correct vibe. As a friend, more successful with the ladies than me, once said, women can 'smell' your loneliness and/or desperation. There is a grain of truth to this. Women also experience this, but they are generally better at disguising it.

madderblue
04-01-2006, 01:57 PM
You say writer like it's a bad thing?

Try my route--marry a musician.

I agree, I married a bass player. Mellow to the core. I don't bother him when he is (ummm) composing and he gives me plenty of space and time to myself. Met him at a friends wedding party. He was in the band.;)

oswann
04-01-2006, 03:33 PM
I married a French girl nearly ten years ago. Things are going well for the moment and I'm keeping my fingers crossed she doesn't discover how boring I really am.




Os.

BlueTexas
04-01-2006, 06:25 PM
Find someone with an equally nuerotic time-consuming habit. Worked for me. I married an engineer-turned model-airplane designer. My house is covered in blue foam more often than not, but as long as I can ignore the engine noises, I can write all I want.

SpookyWriter
04-01-2006, 07:21 PM
How about the racetrack? It's a long shot at best, so why not try for the trifecta?

kathompson
04-01-2006, 10:37 PM
I met my Spouse Thingy in high school. So maybe that's the answer...go hang around the high school to find someone.

badducky
04-02-2006, 12:21 AM
There is a quote from a famous writer, who said that a writer should find and marry a wealthy woman.

In more contemporary times, you might try for a particular market. Are you in your 40s, or 30s or 20s? This makes a difference in terms of your potential mate demographics.

Being a writer of limited means is not looked upon so kindly in numerous countries - you're a bit behind the eight ball already. A little change in the packaging and presentation, and repositioning, might both be necessary and work wonders.

Good luck!

ATP


Oh, I'm a total catch.

I'm in great shape now that I'm not sitting around Europe in the middle of winter. I speak one-and-a-half languages. I play three musical instruments.

I'm only 26. I am actually succeeding at writing, despite my age, with one novel sale, multiple fiction and poetry publications, and a great literary agent.

I just finished my second novel, and I'm writing my third. (At least I should be... Um, I will be as soon as I'm done here.)

Anyway, I don't get it. I blame the city. I live in the kind of town where evolution is still open for debate, and there are more churches than restaurants.

It's scary.

eldragon
04-02-2006, 12:55 AM
by reading your blog, I can suggest meeting girls at your church;
if you like religious girls.


You have a funny wit about you, that's a definite plus. You don't smoke, that's a definite plus.



You are college educated, another plus (definitely.)


As far as how I met my husband, I met him at work..........about ...........20 years ago (I'm 42, he's 41.)

But we didn't start dating for almost 10 years.

Even working with hundreds of people, finding someone you like enough to date is hard. VERY HARD.

Sometime, I'm gonna write a book about all the losers I dated in my lifetime. The problem is: my husband will want to read it and there's no way I want him to.

So - write everything you want now, before you meet your future wife.

SC Harrison
04-02-2006, 02:38 AM
There is a quote from a famous writer, who said that a writer should find and marry a wealthy woman.



Bingo. I knew if I was patient enough I would come across some good advice.

Step 1 - Find the wealthy women. To begin with, I'm going to...I've got nothing.

mdin
04-02-2006, 02:53 AM
Dude. That one is easy.

M.A.I.L. O.R.D.E.R.

http://www.goodwife.com/

"The Mail Order Bride Warehouse."

reph
04-02-2006, 02:55 AM
I blame the city. I live in the kind of town where evolution is still open for debate, and there are more churches than restaurants.
If you need an intellectual companion for a mate, you're better off living near a university. Second best: "meet" someone at a distance (Internet?), and later one of you moves to the other's location, or both of you move to a new location.

mdin
04-02-2006, 02:56 AM
http://www.goodwife.com/



*btw, the forums on that website are wonderful fodder for any of you who want to write about mail-order brides. My trunk novel is about a Russian spy/mail-order bride.

SC Harrison
04-02-2006, 03:21 AM
Dude. That one is easy.

M.A.I.L. O.R.D.E.R.

http://www.goodwife.com/

"The Mail Order Bride Warehouse."

Thanks a lot, Nav. Like I didn't already have enough fantasy girlfriends as it was.

So...do you have to pay extra for shipping and handling? If so, how much would I save by ordering the tiniest girl possible and having her shipped on a slow boat? Not that I'm that cheap, you know, I'm just curious.

reph
04-02-2006, 03:28 AM
So...do you have to pay extra for shipping and handling? If so, how much would I save by ordering the tiniest girl possible and having her shipped on a slow boat? Not that I'm that cheap, you know, I'm just curious.
Steve, if you wait till the end of the season, they clear out their Freeze-Dried Bride stock at a substantial discount. Order one of those. You'll save on shipping, and reconstituting her takes less than a minute.

Alternatively, you can select from a range of collapsible air-filled models, but you probably know about those.

mdin
04-02-2006, 03:41 AM
I usually go after the scratch and ding discounts. As long as you only look at them from a certain angle, you'll never notice anything's wrong.

SC Harrison
04-02-2006, 04:08 AM
Steve, if you wait till the end of the season, they clear out their Freeze-Dried Bride stock at a substantial discount. Order one of those. You'll save on shipping, and reconstituting her takes less than a minute.

Alternatively, you can select from a range of collapsible air-filled models, but you probably know about those.

Dude! That's it! I get one of the hotties to send me some DNA, under the auspices of a required medical test, and then Bam! I clone her. Nah. Knowing my luck, I'd end up with some hairy male cossack.

As far as the pneumatic girlfriend option, I'm a smoker. That relationship is bound to end up in disaster.

tiny
04-02-2006, 04:09 AM
Bear traps. Simple.

SC Harrison
04-02-2006, 04:12 AM
Bear traps. Simple.

Brilliant. Snared and hobbled at the same time, so you won't have to resort to the Misery sledge hammer tactic (shudder).

robeiae
04-02-2006, 04:12 AM
Women are evil. Avoid them like the plague.

reph
04-02-2006, 04:15 AM
...Dude! That's it!
Dude?

Not to go into too much detail, but this is a lady you're talking to, Mister.

tiny
04-02-2006, 04:16 AM
Brilliant. Snared and hobbled at the same time, so you won't have to resort to the Misery sledge hammer tactic (shudder).


Oh, heavens no. I like the chase. He has to be able to catch me :D.

tiny
04-02-2006, 04:17 AM
Women are evil. Avoid them like the plague.


Yes, Rob. How's that working for you?

badducky
04-02-2006, 08:56 PM
As soon as I put this post up, I turn around at church to discover a statuesque, red-headed supermodel has been standing behind me the whole mass...

"Peace be with you," she says... Right... Let me reconnect all the neurons you destroyed from the shock and then we'll talk about being at peace.

This proves the ancient adage: 'Tis easier to whine about failure with beautiful women than to talk to beautiful women.

Whining may not be the road less traveled, but at least I'm honest about my failure.

I've considered mail order brides, but it's cheaper and easier to let my parents play yenta. Just as humiliating, but without international shipping rates.

robeiae
04-02-2006, 09:00 PM
Yes, Rob. How's that working for you?Not very well, actually. It seems to be some kind of 'turn on' for some women... :D

maestrowork
04-02-2006, 09:12 PM
You're single again. Enjoy. I'm a firm believer that you don't need to be partnered to be happy -- partnership could be wonderful, but it's not the be all and end all of happiness. I think the worst thing one can do is to insist that he or she must have a "mate" to be happy. That said, love will find its way when the time is right. Go out, and have fun, and meet people, and join groups and socialize. But be happy by yourself, too. That's a blessing.

tiny
04-02-2006, 09:49 PM
Don't listen! Bear traps.

scarletpeaches
04-02-2006, 10:00 PM
I'm single, never had a serious relationship - in fact, the longest time I've ever had a boyfriend has been six weeks, and I'm thirty in just over a month. Clearly, the fault lies not with me, but in the fact all men in Dundee are head-cases.

However, I can heartily recommend stalking as a great way to meet people.

Policemen, lawyers, scary people in jail who molest you with broomhan-*THE MODS HAVE TERMINATED THE REST OF THIS POST*

SC Harrison
04-02-2006, 10:11 PM
Dude?

Not to go into too much detail, but this is a lady you're talking to, Mister.

I am so sorry. You already 'splained that to me in another thread. I didn't even look at the profile, I just assumed it was another response from Nav. Which may give you some insight into why I am still single. :(

Just so I won't forget again, could you send me some nekkid pictures? I already have the MySpace account. Also, if it's not too much trouble, could you try to find the cheerleading outfit? Awesome.

SC Harrison
04-02-2006, 10:19 PM
Oh, heavens no. I like the chase. He has to be able to catch me :D.

Oh, God. That makes me tired just thinking about it. How about this: I give you a decent headstart, then I drive by in my car, and, using my Mr. Microphone, I announce, "Hey good lookin'! I'll be back to pick you up later on!"

The people at Ronco seem to think this is effective. I have to assume they know what they're talking about, as I am totally clueless myself.

tiny
04-02-2006, 10:21 PM
Nope. Gotta be able to out run me.