How do writer's find love?

Is that the worst thing about you?

Some authors / artists marry

their agents, editors, producers, publishers AND other writers and go on to have very happy lives working as a team. I have seen this time and time again and it seems to work beautifully unless one has a HUGE ego when the other is getting all the attention.

Then, others marry exact opposites. Whatever works, huh?!

Keep writing!

badducky said:

The worst thing about me -- per my public profile -- is that I require a swimming pool of caffiene to function in society.

So, are you with someone, Perks? How did you meet them?

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Before I realized I wanted to write. The old bait-and-switch. Hmmm. I guess I see your point.

I've been married, like, forever to a guy I met in university, before I decided that fiction writing would be my passion. He's my opposite: an engineer (huh?). And, in order to maintain this marriage thingie, I have to work at a job I hate: Tech Writing. Ah, the sacrifices we must make.

What do you enjoy doing? Tennis, hiking, swimming, what? Join a club for *insert interest here* and meet like-minded people. Take a course, or several, in support of your hobby, whatever that might be. Good luck. Life mates don't simply fall into one's lap.

You say writer like it's a bad thing?

Try my route--marry a musician.

Love found me. And it stayed. So keep your fingers crossed.

My ex-wife was an accountant. We went to college together and lived a happy life for nearly twenty years. Times and people change, so I am and have remained single for seven years. My choice is to be alone -- not because I am fat/ugly/poor but because I did my relationship with such gusto I don't have the energy or desire to go through that again.

Besides, all this freetime gives me the opportunity to writer, travel, and not worry about a companion.

My better half is a programmer. We both have the same intensity in what we do. It works for us.

I met my boyfriend through a long-time friend who is a writer. They used to read at the same poetry show.

Jackie

Hi badducky. I know people always say things like "it'll happen when you least expect it" -- but sometimes, it doesn't hurt to help it along a little.

Here is a thread about how people on AW met their significant other:
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=25534&highlight=meet+significant

He sent me a letter

There is a quote from a famous writer, who said that a writer should find and marry a wealthy woman.

In more contemporary times, you might try for a particular market. Are you in your 40s, or 30s or 20s? This makes a difference in terms of your potential mate demographics.

Older (western) writers are likely to find single, divorced women in their 30s, and who likely have a child, and are of some if not full means. If you're a character of savory habits, but limited means, there is an improved probability that this type of woman will be willing to make a compromise. Age and experience has generally made them more practical and less air-headed about their 'list' of potential mate characteristics. (And women everywhere always have a 'list', and usually a long one).

You might have to lift your game a bit. Excessive coffee drinking is no good for the health or your demeanor it seems. Are you fit and healthy? Not overweight? Though, if you are an older writer, living in the US, based on the current US population figures as regards weight, there is a very good chance that you are overweight. Younger US women are less likely to be accepting of this factor.

If you're fit, healthy, not overweight, not shabby in presentation, then you might start hanging out at gallery openings and exhibitions. Seems a lot of women (older, single divorcees) spend quite a bit of time in the arts field (besides women generally). It takes effort, this mate seeking business. You should have numerous possibilities as to how to obtain your objective, and as a writer, it need not cost an arm and leg.

One of the things I would suggest you do is go and read some of the hundreds of books written by women for women on how to get a mate. No, really. For all our simplicity that equally so intrigues and exasperates women, we men generally have too few avenues or ways to put ourselves out there.Other than the regular tried and true 'male' ways. But, women have been doing it for centuries, and have learned more ways than men.If nothing else, reading about this from a woman's perspective will open your eyes, and perhaps give you an insight of how to do things differently.I would strongly suggest you go to a public library for this material, being in keeping with what I presume are your limited means.

Being a writer of limited means is not looked upon so kindly in numerous countries - you're a bit behind the eight ball already. A little change in the packaging and presentation, and repositioning, might both be necessary and work wonders.

Good luck!

ATP

ETA: The alternative, the so-called masculine way, is to learn to 'just get on with life', and 'take it on the chin', and not worry so much about one's independence. This might be a good thing, learning to live within one's own skin, as one is. It takes time, but it can make for a surer character. And certainly, it can help in putting out the correct vibe. As a friend, more successful with the ladies than me, once said, women can 'smell' your loneliness and/or desperation. There is a grain of truth to this. Women also experience this, but they are generally better at disguising it.

Cat Scratch said:

You say writer like it's a bad thing?

Try my route--marry a musician.

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I agree, I married a bass player. Mellow to the core. I don't bother him when he is (ummm) composing and he gives me plenty of space and time to myself. Met him at a friends wedding party. He was in the band.

I married a French girl nearly ten years ago. Things are going well for the moment and I'm keeping my fingers crossed she doesn't discover how boring I really am.




Os.

Find someone with an equally nuerotic time-consuming habit. Worked for me. I married an engineer-turned model-airplane designer. My house is covered in blue foam more often than not, but as long as I can ignore the engine noises, I can write all I want.

I met my Spouse Thingy in high school. So maybe that's the answer...go hang around the high school to find someone.

by reading your blog, I can suggest meeting girls at your church;
if you like religious girls.


You have a funny wit about you, that's a definite plus. You don't smoke, that's a definite plus.



You are college educated, another plus (definitely.)


As far as how I met my husband, I met him at work..........about ...........20 years ago (I'm 42, he's 41.)

But we didn't start dating for almost 10 years.

Even working with hundreds of people, finding someone you like enough to date is hard. VERY HARD.

Sometime, I'm gonna write a book about all the losers I dated in my lifetime. The problem is: my husband will want to read it and there's no way I want him to.

So - write everything you want now, before you meet your future wife.

ATP said:

There is a quote from a famous writer, who said that a writer should find and marry a wealthy woman.

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Bingo. I knew if I was patient enough I would come across some good advice.

Step 1 - Find the wealthy women. To begin with, I'm going to...I've got nothing.

Dude. That one is easy.

M.A.I.L. O.R.D.E.R.

http://www.goodwife.com/

"The Mail Order Bride Warehouse."

badducky said:

I blame the city. I live in the kind of town where evolution is still open for debate, and there are more churches than restaurants.

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If you need an intellectual companion for a mate, you're better off living near a university. Second best: "meet" someone at a distance (Internet?), and later one of you moves to the other's location, or both of you move to a new location.