View Full Version : How can you ruin a date with just five words

01-15-2015, 01:19 AM

So if you were on a date, what five words could your date say that would totally wreck it and ensure there is no other date?

And for that matter what five words do you think you could say that could completely ruin this date and ensure there will not be another one?

Maggie Maxwell
01-15-2015, 01:27 AM
Five words to wreck a date? I'd be gone in three.

"I don't read."/"I hate reading."

K, bye.

To ruin one: "You've gotten your shots, right?"

01-15-2015, 01:52 AM
It's only a cold sore.

01-15-2015, 01:58 AM
Him to me: "So, given thought to weightloss?"

Me to him: "Got 7 cats, want baby."

Yeah, no, bye.

Qui Amat Scribere
01-15-2015, 02:00 AM
"Just got out of prison!"

"Got fired for 'sexual harrassment'." *Rolls eyes*

"Have you heard of Amway?"

01-15-2015, 02:45 AM
Him: Up for a shag after?

01-15-2015, 02:56 AM
Him: (After cellphone rings) It's my Baby Mamma calling

Me: Excuse me for a minute (sneaks out the back door)

Dennis E. Taylor
01-15-2015, 02:59 AM
"Watch me order in Klingon."

Ari Meermans
01-15-2015, 03:01 AM
"I'll order for the lady." (Usually followed by, "Don't worry, you'll love it.")

01-15-2015, 03:03 AM
Sorry, I forgot my wallet

Mr Flibble
01-15-2015, 03:25 AM
I have this green discharge

I can save your soul

You look like my Mum

I am still married but

We should count the cutlery

My girlfriend/wife always says that

I have a genital rash

My exes say I'm needy

Your tongue looks like liver

Caitlin Black
01-15-2015, 03:25 AM
"Let's get drunk tonight" would send me running.

To send someone running... "Hi" followed by 4-word's-worth of staring. :tongue

01-15-2015, 03:41 AM
Him to me:

You might clean up nice.

So, is your sister single?

Mom's just tagging along tonight.

I hate cats. And dogs.

I lobby for Big Oil.

I always vote straight GOP.

Climate change is a hoax.

Why haven't you had kids?

Mind if I light up?

Excuse me - this call's important.

Fantasy books are kiddie stuff.

Me to him:

Hello, my name is- (only four words, but TBH I probably wouldn't get that far on an actual date...)

01-15-2015, 04:01 AM
That was my parole officer.

That's just my ankle monitor.

01-15-2015, 04:26 AM

01-15-2015, 04:27 AM
Him: I want lots of kids.

Me: Not a chance in hell.

01-15-2015, 04:28 AM
"Watch me order in Klingon."

Wouldn't end a date with me. I'd think the guy was cool.

01-15-2015, 04:38 AM
Hi. My name is quickWit.

01-15-2015, 04:51 AM
What, can't take a joke?

Caitlin Black
01-15-2015, 04:54 AM
"What car do you drive?"

Dennis E. Taylor
01-15-2015, 05:16 AM
Wouldn't end a date with me. I'd think the guy was cool.

yeah, but the odds are against me...

01-15-2015, 05:25 AM
am so desperate that nothing could ruin one

"I'm gonna kill you, Ken."

"How about waiting? Say a half hour, so I can enjoy your company for a bit."

S. Eli
01-15-2015, 05:29 AM
I'm glad it's just VD

01-15-2015, 05:40 AM
Our waitress is my ex-wife.

Qui Amat Scribere
01-15-2015, 09:57 AM
Restaurant Edition:

"Why tip? They're paid anyway."*

"Hey, want a free meal?" *drops a hair onto my food*

To the mortified waiter/waitress: "How about a threesome, doll?"

*Obviously, this only applies in countries where waitstaff make a significant portion of their income through tips.

01-15-2015, 10:04 AM
Please sign this release form.

01-15-2015, 12:19 PM
Lets pray before we eat.

01-15-2015, 12:29 PM
Go ahead, pull my finger.

ETA: Oops, sorry Fingers!

01-15-2015, 05:53 PM
Hi. My name is quickWit.

**locks thread**

01-15-2015, 08:06 PM
"I'm totally a cat person."

"Watch me order in Klingon."
^ :roll: this too.

"I'll order for the lady." (Usually followed by, "Don't worry, you'll love it.")
^ I would find this adorable.

What, can't take a joke?

Maggie Maxwell
01-15-2015, 08:32 PM
Don't worry, that smell's normal.
You would look great pregnant.
I never use a condom.
Dinner at McDonalds, on me.
I'm getting a swastika tattoo.
You kiss like my sister.

01-15-2015, 09:40 PM
Luckily, I am in no danger of ruining a date in any number of words, since I never go on them.

01-16-2015, 12:15 AM
Lets pray before we eat.

My date said that, and we've been married for 27 years. ;)

01-16-2015, 03:29 AM
Five words, because you never get to finish the sentence.

"I think you're great, but..."

01-16-2015, 03:57 AM
Can I speculum inspect you?

01-16-2015, 04:08 AM
Five words or five ASL signs:

Sorry . . . busy . . . instead here's Haggis.