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Cat Scratch
03-31-2006, 11:24 PM
I thought it'd be fun to have a thread where we list typos, errors, and other grammatical mistakes we see in print.

For instance, yesterday I was watching Lost and they put "you're" instead of "your" in the subtitles when the dialogue they were translating definitely called for possessive. The character was saying something like "Is that your baby?" but it read "Is that you're baby?"

A million-dollar show; could they not afford an editor?

veinglory
03-31-2006, 11:30 PM
Red Valentine's Day cushions remaindered to Goodwill, embroidered all in white block letters

YOUR MINE

CaroGirl
03-31-2006, 11:32 PM
On my MSN Messenger dialog box, the following ad appeared:



It is illegal to visit any country with a criminal record.



Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t know of any entire countries with a criminal record. And how am I supposed to know for sure before I visit a country whether it has a criminal record? I don’t want to break the law.



Oh dear, I might never travel again (not that I have the money to travel anyway…).

PattiTheWicked
04-01-2006, 12:37 AM
I notice it in newspapers all the time, and it drives me insane. There's one local reporter who consistently mixes up his There, Their, and They'res, and his editor apparently doesn't know the difference either.

My editor and I have a weekly chuckle over it.

KTC
04-01-2006, 12:39 AM
I almost ate in the PUBIC area of a restaurant's patio area, but then thought better of it.

Torin
04-01-2006, 02:38 AM
My ex used to publish a tiny local paper, but he's never mastered the difference between "were" and "where". Drove me crazy...still does. I have issues reading emails when he sends them to me.

Cat Scratch
04-01-2006, 02:57 AM
I've seen this commercial a few times: a woman is talking about a new drug, and she says: "I'm so glad it gives me a low risk of sexual side effects."

Really? You're glad about that? I'm sure she means that it only gives her a low risk, but that sure isn't what she says.

veronie
04-01-2006, 04:33 AM
I mentioned this somewhere else, but there's a health spa near where I live named "Too Your Health Spa."

AmyBA
04-01-2006, 05:29 AM
Tonight I was driving past a liquor store on a main street in my town and saw a huge sign in the front window that read "RUM'S"-- I almost hit the car in front of me.

Cat Scratch
04-01-2006, 10:31 AM
Nearly every menu in my town lists "omelet's." I think one menu did it and they all started copying. And when my town had a street fair people had to buy "scripts" to make purchases. But they meant scrip. I think bad grammar is in the water or something.

Maryn
04-01-2006, 09:44 PM
Yahoo headline: "Woman mauled by mountain lion in fair condition." I hope if I'm ever mauled by a mountain lion, I get one that's been working out.

Cat Scratch
04-02-2006, 08:29 AM
I just returned from a Writers' Conference and a presenter messed up your/you're on the white board. And then my eyes started to bleed.

DTNg
04-02-2006, 01:29 PM
There used to be a store on Queens Blvd. with a large hand painted sign in the window reading "Italian Lacker Furniture."

It was around the corner from the magazine and lotto shop with "Congratulation to our three lottery winner" in the window.

jenngreenleaf
04-02-2006, 10:22 PM
Huge letters outside my favorite lunch place . . . Buffet Served Daylie.


Hmm.

kristie911
04-03-2006, 11:08 AM
The local paper always reports that things were "busted" i.e. The water faucet downtown was busted off. Local police are investigating.

Ahhh...makes me want to strangle someone...can't they find a better word for this? Is "broken" really that hard to spell?

Maryn
04-03-2006, 05:10 PM
Hand-lettered sign in a hardware store, over a basket of plastic key covers. (You slide a different brightly colored and somewhat textured cover over the head of the key so you can quickly identify the key you want.)


CAN'T FIND THE RIGHT KEY?
TRY THESE--WA! LA!

Okay, voila is French, and not everyone at a hardware store can be expected to know French, but still...

Maryn, who knows no French but knows that word

Aconite
04-03-2006, 06:46 PM
"Ice tea .99 cents"

Also, "Monitored by close circuit TV"

maestrowork
04-03-2006, 07:57 PM
"Please do not stand or lay here" -- lay? They mean "getting laid," don't they? :)

Bufty
04-03-2006, 08:12 PM
'Modern en-suite bedrooms' - That mean they provide huge bathrooms with an attached closet containing a bed?

Cat Scratch
04-04-2006, 03:40 AM
"Ice tea .99 cents"

Also, "Monitored by close circuit TV"

Ah, yes. The restaurant I used to work in offered both ice tea and whip cream.

Cheryll
04-04-2006, 08:22 AM
Ah, yes. The restaurant I used to work in offered both ice tea and whip cream.

Don't forget the scramble eggs. ;) I saw that typo this past weekend in a local diner.

Cheryll

Akuma
04-04-2006, 09:36 AM
It wasn't in print, nor was it grammar, but it was pronunciation, which I suppose can be just as dangerous.

I'll never forget it:
Several months ago I was watching television and a commercial came up, loudly proclaiming great deals on suites. Bedroom suites, professional suites, any relazing and extravagant suite you could think of. The announcer kept saying it over and over, excitedly, just as they usually do.

However, he pronounced suite as "suit" when it should be like "sweet".

I don't know, that's all I got but it cracked me up. How did that get past so many people only for a 16-year-old kid watching tv to notice it?

Oh yeah, and "All gift raping paper for .79 cents" and "Good writtens" are also pretty funny to find.

pdr
04-05-2006, 04:50 AM
Home in NZ a few days ago I heard the news on TV3. Two things caught my ears:

The company dealt to the problem...

The rain impacted the fruit harvest in...

This being NZ I could ring the newsroom and complain. I did. The response was that TV3 is part owned by an American company and the two examples I complain about were American usage. Apart from my indignation at having bad American English foisted upon us when we have our own wondrously weird Kiwi English to use instead I did wonder.

I deal cards to people and deal with problems.
As I see it the heavy rain would have an impact upon the fruit harvest.

Are the two examples I heard good grammatical American English or just more mangling?

reph
04-05-2006, 05:03 AM
The response was that TV3 is part owned by an American company and the two examples I complain about were American usage.
Oh, right, blame the Americans.

As one of "them," I can tell you that I've never seen "dealt" used that way. Unfortunately, I've seen "impact" as a verb way too many times. It's bureaucratic (government, business) jargon of recent origin.

janetbellinger
04-05-2006, 06:23 AM
I can overlook almost any bad grammar, but the one thing I can't forgive is when a needlessly big word is used inappropriately, or mispronounced. I mean, simple is best, most of the time.

Aconite
04-05-2006, 07:23 AM
Oh, right, blame the Americans.

As one of "them," I can tell you that I've never seen "dealt" used that way. Unfortunately, I've seen "impact" as a verb way too many times. It's bureaucratic (government, business) jargon of recent origin.Agreed. "Impacted" is gaining ground (along with "proactive"), but I've never heard "dealt" used that way.

reph
04-05-2006, 10:19 AM
Aconite, do you object to "proactive"? It's a handy adjective for "initiative-taking" or "getting-off-your-behind-and-doing-something"; I don't think English has another one-word synonym for that. Unlike "impact," it hasn't been commandeered for duty as a different part of speech than it was when it started.

kbax
04-05-2006, 03:40 PM
There's a billboard I pass every--single--day--on my way to work. I think it's for a mattress store or a sleep clinic, and it reads,

"Loosing Sleep?"

I think they wrote it like that so they could put a drawing of two half-closed eyes in the Os. No excuse.

Then there was the board, one of those things where you can change the letters, like a fast food place...through the entire month of March, it said, "Irish Eye's Are Smiling!" Also on my way to work. I have never been so happy to see "April 1" on a calendar.

Then there was the sign taped to the counter at the gas station just last weekend...something about not honoring "Cigratee Coupens".
I can't...I just...I'm sorry, I have to go have an aneurysm now.

-kbax

Aconite
04-05-2006, 03:43 PM
Aconite, do you object to "proactive"? It's a handy adjective for "initiative-taking" or "getting-off-your-behind-and-doing-something"; I don't think English has another one-word synonym for that. Unlike "impact," it hasn't been commandeered for duty as a different part of speech than it was when it started.I do object to it; I feel "active" already covers the territory "proactive" claims. "Proactive" grates on me the way "very unique" does. JMO, of course.

Maryn
04-05-2006, 04:09 PM
It wasn't in print, nor was it grammar, but it was pronunciation, which I suppose can be just as dangerous.

I'll never forget it:
Several months ago I was watching television and a commercial came up, loudly proclaiming great deals on suites. Bedroom suites, professional suites, any relazing and extravagant suite you could think of. The announcer kept saying it over and over, excitedly, just as they usually do.

However, he pronounced suite as "suit" when it should be like "sweet".

I don't know, that's all I got but it cracked me up. How did that get past so many people only for a 16-year-old kid watching tv to notice it?That triggered a deeply buried memory of a TV ad that aired in Austin, Texas when I lived there.

The ad was set in the woods. Models kept popping out from behind trees (which were not thick enough for skinny models to hide behind) in different outfits, with the voice-over, "Hide... and chic!" The voice-over actor pronounced it chick so the pun on hide-and-seek was lost. (And some would feel the term 'chick' degraded the models, too!)

I groaned every time it came on.

Maryn, sophisticated and worldly by Austin standards (in those days)

reph
04-05-2006, 09:42 PM
I do object to it; I feel "active" already covers the territory "proactive" claims. "Proactive" grates on me the way "very unique" does. JMO, of course.
Writers on psychology and counseling (I've edited many pages of their stuff) use "proactive" to mean something different from "active." It's about taking initiative, as distinct from simple activity, which can mean running around doing something or other. JMO (this O stands for "observation").

GrammarScribe
04-07-2006, 09:51 PM
They're not in print (thankfully), but the candidates on The Apprentice have a tendency to maul the English language on a daily basis. My personal favorites:

1. "This team is suffering from a severe lack of mismanagment."
2. "I am sick of him misunderestimating me."

And that's when they're not spouting tired cliches left and right. Sigh. And yet I still watch it.

My other pet peeve is when people say something like, "If you have questions, please see either myself or my assistant." I just want to throw a spork at them.

Chacounne
04-07-2006, 10:03 PM
Writers on psychology and counseling (I've edited many pages of their stuff) use "proactive" to mean something different from "active." It's about taking initiative, as distinct from simple activity, which can mean running around doing something or other. JMO (this O stands for "observation").

Aconite, sorry, I'm with Reph on this.

Just my two cents,
Chac

Shadow_Ferret
04-07-2006, 10:07 PM
Well, here's an oldie but a goodie:

"Winston tastes good LIKE a cigarette should."

We have a car dealership, and the owner is this quaint old man from the old country, and for years his slogan has been, "Who do you know wants to buy a car?" (and actually, with his accent, it's more like "Who jew know wants to buy a car.")

And of course, the most famous split infinitive of all time, "To boldly go where no man has gone before."

Aconite
04-08-2006, 01:43 AM
Aconite, sorry, I'm with Reph on this. I can make allowances for it as a term of art, but I still cringe when I hear it.

Cat Scratch
04-08-2006, 08:47 AM
That triggered a deeply buried memory of a TV ad that aired in Austin, Texas when I lived there.

The ad was set in the woods. Models kept popping out from behind trees (which were not thick enough for skinny models to hide behind) in different outfits, with the voice-over, "Hide... and chic!" The voice-over actor pronounced it chick so the pun on hide-and-seek was lost. (And some would feel the term 'chick' degraded the models, too!)

I groaned every time it came on.

Maryn, sophisticated and worldly by Austin standards (in those days)

Maryn, I was lying in bed last night thinking of "Hide...and chick!" and thanking god I never lived in Austin. Why I was thinking that in bed last night, I have no idea.

AltoRose, my last boss misused the word "myself" all the time. I could have turned it into a drinking game, if only I could sneak that flask into meetings.

A. J. Luxton
04-08-2006, 01:10 PM
According to, uh, probably Bill Bryson*, there's nothing wrong with split infinitives in English. The idea that they're no good was ported over by some grammarians, who believed that if something was impossible in Latin, it should be improper in English.

*I seem to remember this being pointed out in Bill Bryson's The Mother Tongue, but I might be wrong.

loquax
04-08-2006, 04:38 PM
An old video game shop I once drove past had "GAMES BROUGHT AND SOLD" in the window.

reph
04-08-2006, 06:03 PM
According to, uh, probably Bill Bryson*, there's nothing wrong with split infinitives in English....

*I seem to remember this being pointed out in Bill Bryson's The Mother Tongue, but I might be wrong.
It's in print in many places.

DTKelly
04-08-2006, 07:00 PM
I've seen this in two parts of the country;

Flower shops that sell "Bokays"-- I mean really, shouldn't a florist know how to spell bouquet?

I've seen Belgium Waffles (am I wrong, isn't it Belgian?) Either way, I've seen both.

Omlet

My favorite is on chopstick wrappers, the directions proclaim that once you have the proper grip, "Now you can pick up anything!"

Maryn
04-08-2006, 08:38 PM
Now I can pick up anything? Say, that cute waiter--using only my chopsticks and none of my charm? I do like a challenge. Or perhaps I'll just go outside and pick up his car.

Many Chinese restaurants use chopsticks packaged by companies where English clearly is not the native tongue. I make pretty broad allowances for second-language mistakes, although if Maryn, Inc. were shipping forks to China, you'd better believe I'd have hired a proofreader for my packaging. Clearly many companies shipping products to the U.S. market don't feel the same.

Speaking of omelet, the crossword puzzle my newspaper used to run used omelet as the clue for tortilla and vice versa, like any large disk-shaped foods were interchangeable. Just try to make a chimichanga with an omelet instead of a tortilla! Sheesh.

(Sorry to sidetrack, but it's good to vent.)

Maryn, whose all-time favorite Chinese restaurant doesn't use disposable chopsticks

reph
04-09-2006, 01:33 AM
Speaking of omelet, the crossword puzzle my newspaper used to run used omelet as the clue for tortilla and vice versa, like any large disk-shaped foods were interchangeable.
So that's why the stuff keeps falling out of my taco!

DTKelly
04-09-2006, 01:44 AM
Oh yeah,

and the word 'donut' really irks me.

arrowqueen
04-10-2006, 12:17 AM
Prince Harry Celebrates End of Training at Strip Club (http://articles.news.aol.com/news/article.adp?id=20060408060609990001)

I didn't even know he was training to be a stripper.

Maryn
04-10-2006, 12:38 AM
Some young women (and probably some young men as well) are going to be very disappointed that he's not.

Vomaxx
04-10-2006, 01:54 AM
A few newspaper headlines:


Deaf-mute gets new hearing in killing.
Many antiques seen at D.A.R. meeting.
Traffic dead rise slowly.
Collegians are turning to vegetables.
War dims hope for peace.
Iraqi head seeks arms.

These are from Richard Lederer's Anguished English, a book we should all own.
It is priceless.

maestrowork
04-10-2006, 02:01 AM
"We use full milk cheeses" -- okay, it's either milk or it's cheese, and if the cheese is made of milk, it's not really cheese, IMHO...

reph
04-10-2006, 02:24 AM
"We use full milk cheeses" -- okay, it's either milk or it's cheese, and if the cheese is made of milk, it's not really cheese, IMHO...
That's what comes of losing hyphens. Do they mean "We use full-milk cheeses, not skim-milk cheeses"?

Cheese is made of (or from) milk, mostly.

Vomaxx
04-10-2006, 07:01 AM
Fowler has some funny examples of hyphen errors (given here with his comments):

A superfluous hair-remover (i.e., a hair-remover that no one wants)

... the Acting-British Consul at Shiraz... (i.e., the Consul who was pretending to be British)

Even the most bigoted anti-trade unionist... (i.e., the unionist who is most opposed to trade).

trumancoyote
04-10-2006, 08:41 AM
Some young women (and probably some young men as well) are going to be very disappointed that he's not.

**** Harry. It's all about the Prince William, baby. Oh yeah.

expatbrat
04-10-2006, 07:03 PM
On a t-shirt:

"Never Loose,
Never Give Up"

I had to buy it.

RMS
04-11-2006, 01:37 AM
Cute Expat!
Wear it with pride! LOL

KimJo
04-11-2006, 03:11 AM
I saw one tonight that made my teeth hurt. Okay, it was on an online message board, and they aren't necessarily known for good grammar or spelling (except this one, of course!) But this one just got to me: "This site is chalk full of knowledgable people."

CaroGirl
04-11-2006, 03:26 AM
I saw one tonight that made my teeth hurt. Okay, it was on an online message board, and they aren't necessarily known for good grammar or spelling (except this one, of course!) But this one just got to me: "This site is chalk full of knowledgable people."
Oh sure, they're all knowledgable, except the guy who wrote that. What kind of chalk? Sidewalk chalk?

Cat Scratch
04-12-2006, 12:47 AM
I make allowances for imported items. We have a Japanese store nearby and when we're bored the spouse and I love to wander around cracking up at all the english translations. I have a notebook that says "You'll be relieved when you can see your favorites. Now, I have a happy feeling. Are you happy!!" On the back it says "GREEN TIME. I like the love in my own style. It's the dream best suitable to me."

I can't even guess at what they were trying to say. P.S. This is written across cartoon bears who are playing on a giant green bean. It was located in the children's section.

BooRadley65
04-12-2006, 12:59 AM
I'm driving around town. I see a bumper sticker on the back of the car in front of me.

It reads:

"My child is on the Principle's list at Marbut Elementary School."

...I almost wrecked my car.

Cyjon
04-12-2006, 11:11 PM
Just this morning I completed an online survey that asked me which "isle" in a grocery store I would expect to find organic foods. And people wonder why I carry an inflatable raft to the store.

One of my favorites was a bar that was on my commute to work many years ago. They had a sign by the street that proclaimed in large letters "Ladie's Night". It used to drive me crazy. After several years they tore down the old sign and put up a brand new one...which proclaimed in large letters "Ladie's Night". At that point I figured they had to be doing it on purpose just to draw attention.

Chickenchargrill
04-13-2006, 01:37 PM
Jargonism bugs me. The following example is from a London Education Authority.

Due to increased verbalization the educationist desires earnestly to see school populations achieve cognitive clarity, auracy, literacy and numeracy both within and without the learning situation. However the classroom situation (and the locus of evaluation is the classroom) is fraught with so many innovative concepts (e.g. the problem of locked confrontation between pupil and teacher) that the teaching situation is, in the main, inhibitive to any meaningful articulacy. It must now be fully realized that the secondary educational scene has embraced the concept that literacy has to be imparted and acquired via humanoid-to-humanoid dialogue. This is a break-through.

What?

Humanoids!?!

Sandi LeFaucheur
04-13-2006, 02:17 PM
That's hilarious! Whatever happened to Crystal English?

Mind, I l know some kids--and some teachers--who could be classed as humanoid.

Which brings us to another word--factoid. I work on Web content, and I'm often told to put "factoids" on pages. Is it a fact? Is it a little fact? And is a little fact like a little lie, or like being a little pregnant?

Shadow_Ferret
04-13-2006, 06:46 PM
I think a factoid is a cutsie bit of fluffy trivial information. If you called it a fact people would be turned off, but because it's a FACTOID, well, that's OK. I'll read that, it might be fun and I don't have to worry about LEARNING something. Wouldn't want to strain my brain, you know.

dahmnait
04-14-2006, 04:27 PM
As seen in the local newspaper: "tells the tale of a vane new emperor"

hmmm...well, considering they were talking about a play adaption of The Emperor's New Clothes, this could be correct. ;) Although, if that is the case, then I am a little worried about the fact that it is being played in the Children's Theatre.

dahmnait
04-17-2006, 08:16 PM
I've seen this commercial a few times: a woman is talking about a new drug, and she says: "I'm so glad it gives me a low risk of sexual side effects."

Really? You're glad about that? I'm sure she means that it only gives her a low risk, but that sure isn't what she says.:D I saw that commercial for the first time last night. My daughter couldn't figure out what was so funny.

Tish Davidson
04-17-2006, 08:47 PM
I had cataract surgery Thursday. Before the operation the doctor told the nurse "Go ahead and get her [meaning me] consentized [e.g. to sign a consent to operate form]. I almost got up and walked out. Fortunately his surgical skills were better than his grammar.

CaroGirl
04-19-2006, 05:59 PM
The ad window at the bottom of my MSN Messenger seems to be a good place to find bad grammar (or a bad place to find good grammar).

Right now, the ad is for Microsoft and it says:

Is your business people ready?

I think they mean people-ready, which would be a bizarre construction in any case, but they've replaced the hyphen with the silhouette of a woman's body. <shakes head>

PattiTheWicked
04-19-2006, 06:18 PM
Not sure if any of you are familiar with Tee Jaye's restaurants, we have them in Ohio. Their slogan is "country cooking at it's best." Of course, it makes my skin crawl every time I see it, because this isn't just a hand-lettered sign, this is Corporate Issue.

Apparently a fourth-grader wrote to the company and pointed out that the apostrophe shouldn't be there, so now they're re-doing all the signs. About damn time.

Maryn
04-19-2006, 07:01 PM
Where I live, the best grocery store chain, still owned by the Wegman family, is Wegmans. No apostrophe. Their website FAQs include what it could cost to add the apostrophe to the store's outdoor signs--well over a million dollars.

And so the error of an undereducated grocer in the 1920s lives on...

maestrowork
04-24-2006, 05:01 AM
Saw this one earlier... did a double take:

"Live Main Lobsters"

special needs
04-24-2006, 05:17 AM
I don't mind when there's a typo or a misspelling on a forum or a personal website...but when it's on a professional website that likely gets thousands of hits...I feel like blowing up. It's taken down now, but on www.afleetalex.com (http://www.afleetalex.com) they spelled 'through' incorrectly. I don't know if it was my hatred for the horse or the fact that I hate it when things are spelled wrong on professional websites... but I absolutely freaked out at that.

DamaNegra
04-24-2006, 07:25 AM
Not written but spoken:

"I hope this is not the first time you visit us, we hope to see you again soon."
Said by the lady who organized the capoeira roda we did some time ago, lol.

"We'll be waiting for you with our legs wide open." instead of 'our doors wide open', looool!! This was actually said by a governor to some European dance group.

BottomlessCup
04-24-2006, 11:51 AM
"Nite-drop" kills me.

dahmnait
04-24-2006, 06:52 PM
"We'll be waiting for you with our legs wide open." instead of 'our doors wide open', looool!! This was actually said by a governor to some European dance group.:ROFL: Accommodating, aren't they?

Doctor Shifty
04-26-2006, 05:38 PM
I get a bit worked up when I see people writing as if they are texting, something that is on the increase on car and motorcycle web forums that I read as text-addicted teenagers get old enough to drive.

On the other hand, I like to figure out the compressed words when somebody spells something on the number plate of their car, which is like a national sport in my state here in Oz.

And my all time favourite is Dan Quaile and the potatoe thing. Watching that little kid trying to get him to spell it correctly was priceless.

Kim

Doctor Shifty
04-26-2006, 05:47 PM
I make allowances for imported items. We have a Japanese store nearby and when we're bored the spouse and I love to wander around cracking up at all the english translations. I have a notebook that says "You'll be relieved when you can see your favorites. Now, I have a happy feeling. Are you happy!!" On the back it says "GREEN TIME. I like the love in my own style. It's the dream best suitable to me."

I can't even guess at what they were trying to say. P.S. This is written across cartoon bears who are playing on a giant green bean. It was located in the children's section.

We were holidaying in Japan once and were amazed at the stuff on teenager's tee shirts. The place was full of English texts with absolutely no meaning - like "Filled with the yellow of life and more rose delight. You dance it, baby!"

We bought some clothes for our son and the slogans on the labels were similar in style, completely incomprehensible. I don't think they translated into sensible Japanese, I think they were just there for the fun of it.


Kim

maestrowork
04-26-2006, 05:53 PM
There are many funny "English" stuff in Asia. In Hong Kong, for example, where most people at least speak some English, I saw a sign at the train station: "Please utilize vomit bag while on train." I got a kick out of that.

maestrowork
04-28-2006, 06:14 PM
Agh! A local newspaper writer is driving me nuts. She mixes tenses! Agh! Something like: "There is a variety of choices, but X and I decided to order squid."

"The decor is very pleasant. We sat down and ordered some drinks."

"The music of this place is loud, so we headed for a table in a corner."

:rant:

reph
04-28-2006, 10:44 PM
"The decor is very pleasant. We sat down and ordered some drinks."

"The music of this place is loud, so we headed for a table in a corner."I'm not sure these are wrong, although they may read awkwardly in context. The reviewer wants to inform readers that the decor is presumably still pleasant and the music still loud. You'd write "The air on Mt. Everest is thin, so we took oxygen tanks." "I'm allergic to fish, so I ordered beef."

CaroGirl
05-01-2006, 11:23 PM
This isn't exactly public, but how about this gem from the technical document that I'm adapting for inclusion with my company's software product guide:

"All handsets must be paired to an XXX base before it can be used. Please refer to the section entitled 37."

I kid you not. That's what it says.

Tracy
05-03-2006, 12:22 AM
When they don't want you to use a certain door, and warn you that if you do a big bell will sound, they write:

"This door is alarmed."

All I can do is to look at it, standing peacefully and serenely there, and realise that it doesn't look in the slightest bit alarmed.

My 10-year old son and I also love: "Warning, Dangerous Bends." We picture these bends from the wrong side of town, coming from dysfunctional situations, armed to the teeth and ready to attack!

I really spend way too much time exercised over wrong apostrophes and mispellings. But I acknowledge it - I'm a writer. Words matter to me. They're important. They should be right.

I also have an issue with saying, "I'm done", to mean "I've finished a task". As far as I can tell, only the task can be done, or dinner can be done. But the only way for a person to be done in that sense is if they've died. This could be another difference between American English and British/Irish Engllish however

Cat Scratch
05-03-2006, 06:14 PM
Ooh, I live near a Runaway Truck Ramp! That thing has been on the loose for YEARS.

"done" is misused the same way in the States, Tracy. Although my dad used to tease us that "done" meant we were properly cooked.

DTKelly
05-04-2006, 04:31 PM
In my opinion, the word 'wannabe' has no business being in a news story, ever.

In the past week, I've seen it twice on CNN's website.

maestrowork
05-07-2006, 12:38 AM
He gave me a quote-unquote "present."

Well, is it quote-unquote present, or just "present"?

Cat Scratch
07-14-2006, 06:36 AM
I have to revive this thread because someone opened a "Just Taco's" downtown. If it's just Taco's, then why would I bother eating there? Unless Taco is willing to share.

Bad enough, but moments later I went into a sandwich shop that offered "combo's."

Both of these were printed on very expensive-looking professional signs.

Cat Scratch
07-14-2006, 06:42 AM
And I have to add...right now I'm temping for a large bank in the HR dept. I have access to e-mails from individuals inquiring about jobs and applications. The poor writing in these inquiries is frightening. Netspeak has leaked into more than a few (u, and lol, etc.). And these are the future bankers of America? (You'd think we won't hire these people, but out of about 20 applications only 1 had even a tentative grip on grammar. The options are few.)

Note to applicants: only one exclamation point per sentence, please. But generally, refrain from using them altogether when following up on an application.

maestrowork
07-14-2006, 07:49 AM
I read in a newspaper article (USA Today) that new grads have trouble communicating by speaking (don't even mention public speaking) or formal writing. They're too used to communicating using SMS. Frightening.

badducky
07-14-2006, 07:50 AM
I just got back from a cafe that (with no irony and an honest belief nothing's wrong -- I checked!) has t-shirts and mugs and staff wearing t-shirts and signs that read: "Fuelled by Caffiene".

When this should read: "Fueled by Caffeine".

Incidentally, the staff are also a bunch of boobs. Cute girls, nice girls, not terrifically bright girls.

maestrowork
07-14-2006, 08:03 AM
the staff are also a bunch of boobs. Cute girls, nice girls...

What exactly are you complaining about?

badducky
07-14-2006, 08:16 AM
I'll admit I've been there a few times.

More than a few times.

And I've only recently noticed the poor grammar.

I was "just reading your tank top" for a while until I noticed.

FloVoyager
07-14-2006, 06:18 PM
The thing I hate is when people deliberately misspell their business's name because they think it's cute and catchy.

Kopy Kat Printing
Kozy Korner Restaurant
Phun Phones R Us

maestrowork
07-14-2006, 07:13 PM
You mean Poo Ping Restaurant (as seen in Boston)?

MidnightMuse
07-15-2006, 12:39 AM
A caution sign near a local airport reads: Caution! Large Turning Trucks.

It makes my brain hurt whenever I see that sign.

BardSkye
07-15-2006, 01:25 AM
Where I live, the best grocery store chain, still owned by the Wegman family, is Wegmans. No apostrophe. Their website FAQs include what it could cost to add the apostrophe to the store's outdoor signs--well over a million dollars.

And so the error of an undereducated grocer in the 1920s lives on...

Tell them to head over to Quebec. They've got warehouses full of poor, unwanted apostrophes left over from when the language cops forced any store with a name that ended in "'s" to change it.

A friend frequently e-mails me tidbits from a site called "engrish.com" that are always hilarious.

Cat Scratch
07-15-2006, 06:52 AM
Here's an amusing webpage.

It's a listing of signs in foreign countries where English is not the native language.

http://www.humsafar.info/signs.htm

The amusing misuse of language cuts both ways. I once had a friend who visited Hong Kong. While in a clothing store, she insisted upon buying a t-shirt that was printed with a Chinese ideograph. She didn't understand why the clerk was reluctant to sell this shirt. Proud of her new shirt, she wore it throughout the rest of the day. Heads turned to admire her shirt as she passed. People smiled in amusement.

After returning to the hotel, she asked the Chinese concierge to tell her what the ideographs on her t-shirt said. The translation? "For sale." :)

We get lots of Japanese Tourists over here wearing t-shirts in English that say things like "I heart Boobs" and "f*ck you" and I always wonder if they have any idea.

It's also popular, for reasons I don't understand, for the Japanese to go to a store called "88 tees" and all they sell are t-shirts that say "88 tees." There appears to be no point. A shirt store that sells shirts that say shirt. And nothing else.

Fern
07-15-2006, 08:45 AM
Our local courthouse was built near the turn of the century (not the latest one) and on one floor there was a large marble wall plaque. . .In Memory Of 'The Man's Name'. Died during erection.

Actually, that was perfectly fine to say during those days. . .times do change though.

The word I see misused that drives me crazy is "loose". People say they loose weight, they loose this, or they loose that. One may let the dog loose, or turn the goose loose; one may even lose the goose, but I promise weight isn't something you loose!

brianm
07-15-2006, 04:29 PM
Pronouncing the word idea with an R added to the end...

"I have an idear..."

Akuma, the pronunciation of the word "suite" is correct either way... "sweet" or "suit."

PattiTheWicked
07-15-2006, 06:47 PM
One language anomaly which seems to be peculiar to Ohio is the dropping of the words "to be". For example, my carpet doesn't need to be vacuumed, it needs vacuumed. The car needs washed. The children want fed.

At first it drove me nuts, but now after ten years of living here, I find myself doing it.

I've gone over to the dark side.

reph
07-15-2006, 08:07 PM
One language anomaly which seems to be peculiar to Ohio is the dropping of the words "to be".It's regional, but the region is larger. I've seen it in Web posts by people in Pennsylvania, Indiana, and Texas. "The car needs washed." Do they think "washed" is a substantive? In California, we'd say "The car needs washing." A gerund is a substantive.

maestrowork
07-15-2006, 08:19 PM
"The car needs washed" is very common in Pennsylvania.

Serena Casey
07-15-2006, 11:07 PM
I haven't read the Whole Thread, so I don't know if this has been covered, but there's a guy who writes for the Local Newspaper who makes me nuts. He's a Drive-By Random Capitalizer. And for some reason The Newspaper runs his articles As Is.

argh

Soccer Mom
07-15-2006, 11:34 PM
I have read some of the worst examples of the written word. I'm a prosecutor. I get 'jail mail.'

I also get to read confessions that have been handwritten by defendants.

In one memorable sexual assault case, I spent a full hour pondering a defendant's handwritten confession. I kept reading through my file trying to figure out who 'virgina' was. Finally it dawned on me that he was referring to her female sexual organ.

dobiwon
07-18-2006, 12:44 AM
This is not quite bad grammar in public, but I found it pretty funny. A couple of years ago one of the potato chip manufacturers was running a sweepstakes-kind of game. Written on the package was:

No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
____________________________________

Also, what are people's opinions on the use of "graduate" as a transitive verb as in "I graduated college in 2005". I was always under the impression that one graduated from college, but I've been hearing it so often lately that I looked it up in a couple of places. I thought it was a US regional/southern thing, but I've been hearing it more often all over.

In Merriam-Webster Online, it says :
"usage In the 19th century the transitive sense (1a) was prescribed; the intransitive <I graduated from college> was condemned. The intransitive prevailed nonetheless, and today it is the sense likely to be prescribed and the newer transitive sense (1b) <she graduated high school> the one condemned. All three are standard. The intransitive is currently the most common, the new transitive the least common."

The Cambridge Dictionary Online says "graduated from high school" is UK usage, and "graduated high school" is US usage.

The only example Encarta gives for the transitive use is when a school or faculty graduates students.

Any other thoughts?

reph
07-18-2006, 01:02 AM
A couple of years ago one of the potato chip manufacturers was running a sweepstakes-kind of game. Written on the package was:

No purchase necessary.
Details inside.Um, uh, let's see. Oh, yes, you could enter the contest if you found a discarded chip bag with the details intact.

"She graduated college" sounds terrible to me. I'm in the U.S. It was deemed unacceptable by 93% of the American Heritage Dictionary's Usage Panel for the first edition (1969). That dictionary has no definition of "graduate" as a transitive verb that would make sense of "she graduated college." The college graduates the student.

If you say a person graduates college, how would you define "graduate" for that use? "Graduate" would have to mean something like "finish."

dobiwon
07-18-2006, 08:11 PM
Last night on the tube I was watching a syndicated episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, in which Ray (a sports writer for a major NY newpaper) was reading a proposed column to his family. He wrote: "Growing up, my father took me to [sporting events]."

I guess it's nice that his father had children while he was still growing up.

As an example of how prevalent acceptance of this type of grammar is, when I cited it to some of the people I work with, they couldn't see anything wrong with it, even after I explained it.

rekirts
07-20-2006, 05:38 PM
CTV.ca News Staff
Confusion and delays in evacuating Canadians from Lebanon have been exasperated by a lack of resources and micromanagement by the Prime Minister's Office, according to a published report.




This report exacerbated my exasperation with people who write for the news without understanding the words they use.

Roger J Carlson
07-20-2006, 05:46 PM
Not really a grammar thing, but this one drives me nuts.

Last week, the news programs kept talking about the "wild fires raging out of control". A wild fire MEANS it's out of control. If it was in control, it would be a control burn.

Tried to explain this to my wife and just got a blank stare. Apparently, not everybody is bothered by things like that.

reph
07-20-2006, 08:54 PM
Roger, maybe the announcers mean the fire is on wild (uninhabited) land, and they stop saying "raging out of control" when a fire becomes contained and is expected to stop spreading.

lauram
07-22-2006, 08:53 PM
On a sign at my gym promoting a fitness plan and personal trainer: "Lose weight and tone". Personally I'd prefer to keep my muscle tone and lose the weight. Hmm...
I hate when people say "ideal" instead of "idea". You may have an ideal woman, an ideal weight, an ideal job. However, when you come up with an new thought or plan it is an idea, not necessarily an ideal.

It was mentioned earlier, but I thought I'd chime in as well. I hate when "loose" is used instead of "lose".

dobiwon
07-25-2006, 09:01 PM
[Please excuse me if you've seen this other places already. My brain is a bit slow today and I posted it in the wrong thread]

Advertisements, especially on T.V., are not the places to learn correct grammar, but it bothers me to see and hear incorrect usage. Even though one shouldn't learn from ads, they do teach. They teach (youngsters especially) bad grammar.

One type of phrase stands out to me as a blaring error, when a business claims to have
"more cars than anyone", or "lower rates than anyone", or "bigger selection than anyone".

Can't anyone else hear my elementary school teacher ask "Do you really have a bigger selection than yourself?"

I'm not in advertising, but would it violate some secret rule if the simple word "else" were added to the end? http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/icons/icon12.gif

Roger J Carlson
07-25-2006, 09:22 PM
It was mentioned earlier, but I thought I'd chime in as well. I hate when "loose" is used instead of "lose".I have a problem with "lose" and "loose", but I think it's because of "chose" and "choose". Since "lose" sounds like "choose", I end up typing "loose" with the two o's like "choose".

smiley10000
07-26-2006, 07:19 AM
:ROFL: :roll: :ROFL: Thank you for the laugh...

Aaaahhhh... Cheap thrills in the wee hours of the morning for a grammarian...
:roll: 10000

Firefly
07-28-2006, 03:32 AM
Haha, this thread is hilarious. Here's my contribution. While stopped at a red light the other day, I did a double take on seeing the following ad for a store selling accessories.

"No outfit is complete without the Finish Touch."

Granted, they probably took that liberty so they could work the name of their store into the quote. But...isn't this how it starts? People start saying "finish touch" instead of "finishing touch." And the next thing you know, we're all babbling.

Also, I too love those mysterious English phrases written on t-shirts, bags, and things that are sold in the Japanese stores. I have a lunch container that reads, "Happy fruits is very delicious. I will eat this and will become fortunate altogether!"

Firefly
(I hope no one notices if there are any grammar mistakes in this post.)

Sandi LeFaucheur
07-28-2006, 05:13 AM
Here's one from a newsletter I received today from our friendly local funeral home. "Welcome to our next newsletter...." Ummm---how can it be the next newsletter? Surely this is "this newsletter", and the next is, well, the next? Or is it, as they're a funeral home, that they're in touch with the "next" world?

TsukiRyoko
07-28-2006, 03:42 PM
I saw one terribly, terribly made commercial advertisement in which there were numerous typos- "its" instead of "it's", "teh"/"the", "andr"/"and"- it was horrible!

To top it off, the lady who was doing the overvoice skipped half the phone number. "If you're interested, please call 704-16-, or fax us at 704-. We appreciate the community's concern."

Scrawler
07-28-2006, 11:17 PM
I can't stop myself from announcing that the sign is wrong each time I stand in line: "10 items or less."
"Less calories than the original" is another.
The misuse of me/I, as in "He gave it to my friend and I."

DTKelly
07-28-2006, 11:23 PM
We were walking on one of the main streets of a small town near here, with all the shops having recessed entrances with big display windows surrounding them...

On one on the windows was a sign "No smoking in this entrans."

Roger J Carlson
07-29-2006, 12:09 AM
No thread about bad grammar in public would be complete without a reference to www.engrish.com.

Kristen King
07-29-2006, 12:55 AM
My local grocery store gets really excited when "oreo's" go on sale. They put up a big sign an everything. No amount of explanation has convinced the manager that they look like morons. "Oh, well, it's not that big a deal." Nice to know that the people in charge of the quality and safety of my food are such sticklers for detail...

Kristen

rekirts
08-27-2006, 05:16 AM
The local twice-weekly rag has this headline in the latest edition:
Leon's founder passes

OK. Passes what?

Don't people ever die anymore? At least if they insist using a euphemism for dies they could have said passes away.

On a related note, I refuse to say that my dog was put to sleep. If that were the case I'd expect her to wake up again and come home with me. She was euthanized and she died. So there.

Whaddya mean I have issues?

Roger J Carlson
08-27-2006, 05:30 AM
I've had all my dogs "put down". An odd euphemism, that. In high school, it was great fun to put down other people. It's a wonder none of us are on death row.

Cath
08-27-2006, 05:40 AM
Our local supermarket has a speaking checkout. At the end of every transaction, it finishes by saying:

"Your total savings today is..."

:Jaw:

pea
08-27-2006, 08:31 PM
Does Paris Hilton count as a public place?

http://www.banterist.com/archivefiles/000216.html


I made a poster of this and put it up in my classroom. Oh, the poor, misunderstood apostrophe. http://http://www.banterist.com/archivefiles/000216.html

allion
08-27-2006, 10:46 PM
I'm thinking she does, Pea.

Everyone, feel free to add in your comments here.

Karen

reeny
08-28-2006, 05:54 AM
The instructions for a hair accessory I once tried to use said I needed to "tuck the stick" somewhere or other--except it didn't say "tuck" and I cannot repeat what it said here.

And there was the take-out menu that offered "fried children" as an option. Mmmmm!

Then there was the sign was supposed to inform patrons to use the back entrance but instead it said, "come in rear".

pea
08-28-2006, 08:37 AM
Then there was the sign was supposed to inform patrons to use the back entrance but instead it said, "come in rear".

Ouch. That's quite an invitation.

pea
08-28-2006, 08:41 AM
Some of my students don't realize the importance of doubling the p in the word "rapper." I have to point out to them that "I want to be a raper" is probably not what they mean.