View Full Version : Native Humor: 20 Signs She May Be 'Too Rez' for You, Bro

12-22-2014, 01:01 AM
I don't know how I missed seeing this until now :D It might help folks shake out of the 'noble savage' stereotype of writing Natives at least. One can only hope :) And it's funny!


12-22-2014, 01:16 AM
pic of native american atop article very pretty !
unable to tend to article / too distracting !
will make a subsequent attempt later
now to return to the pic !

12-22-2014, 10:44 AM
Lol at #11! So true.

21. If she's still trying to figure out what to cook with the dead rabbit in her fridge, she's too rez for you bro.

22. If she offers you her knife when you're looking for a bottle opener, she's too rez for you bro.

23. If she says she wants a boyfriend who can outwork her, she's too rez for you bro.

24. If you think she's trying to shush you when she's actually trying to get your attention, she's too rez for you bro.

12-27-2014, 12:00 AM
25. If she took hunter ed in town last fall to bag an off-rez deer, she's way too rez for you, bro.

26. If she follows every funny comment with "Jokes!"* so not to hurt anyone's feelings, she's way too rez for you, bro.

27. If she keeps a hat without a feather and a pair of boots in the pickup just for line dancing, she's way too rez for you, bro.

*Very Rocky Boy's Reservation (Montana). :D

12-27-2014, 06:40 AM
Y'all are great at adding these! :D

I don't know reservations enough to make up my own.

But I do fit several of them myself, lol. Especially the lack of shoes, even in the snow. My Muskogee grandfather didn't believe in kids wearing shoes compared to going barefoot (it toughens the feet for safety, and shoes might mess with their growth), and I never have liked wearing them.

Do Rez girls hate wearing gloves, too? Maybe I can add one :) I don't care how thorny or cold what I'm working with is, I can't stand to wear gloves (you have to feel the plant or tool or whatever!).

12-28-2014, 12:24 AM
I don't know reservations enough to make up my own.

I'm not first American, but when I taught English at Stone Child College on Rocky Boy's Reservation and at Fort Belknap College, I was dark (and old) enough to look native. Especially when I explained my last name meant "smart people's home." I never mentioned the language was Old English. :D

28. If she wears an FBI* hat and sweatshirt, she's way too rez for you, bro.

*Fort Belknap Indians