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View Full Version : Your corniest metaphor / simile belongs here...



unthoughtknown
03-29-2006, 03:02 PM
OK, I'll go first. It came to me in class tonight!


I came upon a hill; magic mushrooms were growing in single file, as if the land wore a shirt and I had encountered its buttons...

Anya Smith
03-29-2006, 07:19 PM
Here's one of mine.


"Are you kidding?" He threw up his hands in frustration. "They're so slow making a decision that protons would likely reach their half life before they came around."

stormie
03-29-2006, 07:29 PM
The air undulated like a bowl of gelatin shaken up. http://bestsmileys.com/sick/7.gif

triceretops
03-29-2006, 07:33 PM
Outside two forks of lightening fenced each other like swordsmen, until they speared the ground.

Tri

Paint
03-29-2006, 10:24 PM
From my great grandma:

"Happy as two dogs in a gut wagon!"

CaroGirl
03-29-2006, 10:29 PM
Her breasts glistened like two hubcaps on a dazzling summer day.

Cheryll
03-30-2006, 12:45 AM
From my husband's grandmother:

She was so ugly she could make a train take a dirt road! :tongue

rich
03-30-2006, 01:07 AM
Seems a lot of you guys are putting up good metaphors/similes. Should this be renamed--Good, or Metephors/Similes not Mark Twainish but mine own?

I have a difficult time with trying to write badly, almost as difficult as trying to write goodly.

Jewel101
03-30-2006, 01:27 AM
Ok, not mine, but it's too good not to post

"She grew on him like she was a colony of E. col and he was room-temperature Canadian beef."

rich
03-30-2006, 01:29 AM
Good'urn, Gem.

Danger Jane
03-30-2006, 04:31 AM
The child screamed like a kangaroo on the rack.

Albedo of Zero
03-30-2006, 06:39 PM
They cleaned the meat off the bones as if they had Hoovers attached to their faces.:e2teeth:

sacredmime
03-30-2006, 09:59 PM
(Things get stuck in my subconscious, so I hope I'm not plagiarizing. If you've heard this before, please let me know. Thanks!)

The heavy rain pelted him like spears, save for the fact that these “spears” were more the size of toothpicks and that these “toothpicks” were made of water, which would have rendered them quite inefficient for holding together those wonderful little wiener hors d'oeuvres… much less for hunting wild boar.

threedogpeople
03-30-2006, 10:08 PM
Them boys is dumb as stumps.

unthoughtknown
03-31-2006, 05:21 AM
(Things get stuck in my subconscious, so I hope I'm not plagiarizing. If you've heard this before, please let me know. Thanks!)

The heavy rain pelted him like spears, save for the fact that these “spears” were more the size of toothpicks and that these “toothpicks” were made of water, which would have rendered them quite inefficient for holding together those wonderful little wiener hors d'oeuvres… much less for hunting wild boar.

Oh my, that's uh... crazy!