Your corniest metaphor / simile belongs here...

unthoughtknown · Mar 29, 2006

OK, I'll go first. It came to me in class tonight!

I came upon a hill; magic mushrooms were growing in single file, as if the land wore a shirt and I had encountered its buttons...

Anya Smith · Mar 29, 2006

Here's one of mine.

"Are you kidding?" He threw up his hands in frustration. "They're so slow making a decision that protons would likely reach their half life before they came around."

stormie · Mar 29, 2006

The air undulated like a bowl of gelatin shaken up.

triceretops · Mar 29, 2006

Outside two forks of lightening fenced each other like swordsmen, until they speared the ground.

Tri

Paint · Mar 29, 2006

From my great grandma:

"Happy as two dogs in a gut wagon!"

CaroGirl · Mar 29, 2006

Her breasts glistened like two hubcaps on a dazzling summer day.

Cheryll · Mar 29, 2006

From my husband's grandmother:

She was so ugly she could make a train take a dirt road! :tongue

rich · Mar 29, 2006

Seems a lot of you guys are putting up good metaphors/similes. Should this be renamed--Good, or Metephors/Similes not Mark Twainish but mine own?

I have a difficult time with trying to write badly, almost as difficult as trying to write goodly.

Jewel101 · Mar 29, 2006

Ok, not mine, but it's too good not to post

"She grew on him like she was a colony of E. col and he was room-temperature Canadian beef."

rich · Mar 29, 2006

Good'urn, Gem.

Danger Jane · Mar 29, 2006

The child screamed like a kangaroo on the rack.

Albedo of Zero · Mar 30, 2006

They cleaned the meat off the bones as if they had Hoovers attached to their faces. :e2teeth:

sacredmime · Mar 30, 2006

(Things get stuck in my subconscious, so I hope I'm not plagiarizing. If you've heard this before, please let me know. Thanks!)

The heavy rain pelted him like spears, save for the fact that these “spears” were more the size of toothpicks and that these “toothpicks” were made of water, which would have rendered them quite inefficient for holding together those wonderful little wiener hors d'oeuvres… much less for hunting wild boar.

threedogpeople · Mar 30, 2006

Them boys is dumb as stumps.

unthoughtknown · Mar 30, 2006

sacredmime said:
(Things get stuck in my subconscious, so I hope I'm not plagiarizing. If you've heard this before, please let me know. Thanks!)

The heavy rain pelted him like spears, save for the fact that these “spears” were more the size of toothpicks and that these “toothpicks” were made of water, which would have rendered them quite inefficient for holding together those wonderful little wiener hors d'oeuvres… much less for hunting wild boar.

Oh my, that's uh... crazy!

Your corniest metaphor / simile belongs here...

unthoughtknown

practical experience, FTW

Anya Smith

House Dragon

stormie

storm central

triceretops

Paint

Warrior of Truth

CaroGirl

Living the dream

Cheryll

rich

Jewel101

rich

Danger Jane

Albedo of Zero

That didn't hurt

sacredmime

Esteemed New Member

threedogpeople

This is my BEST side!

unthoughtknown

practical experience, FTW