View Full Version : Looking for beta or swapie for murder suspense/thriller

11-13-2014, 10:41 PM
Hello, It's just like the subject says.

These are the manuscript's first lines:

Donīt let appearances deceive you. This old truck I am driving is not mine, not to mention the potato cargo in the back. I can only vouch for the corpse hidden below the vegetables.

It's 11AM. I won't make it in time. I need to be home before things become bloody gore, but a full-loaded truck with a coughing, black smoking, 1970's substandard engine won't help.

Ask for the first chapter (3k words) if you liked those lines. I need some help with the grammar, and I would appreciate general opinions about the ms as well.


11-18-2014, 12:48 AM
Hi Allen, I'm looking for a beta swap, too. My MS is sci-fi/dystopian, though. My first lines are probably a bit misleading about the whole book so probably won't make sense to post them! However, basic premise is:
People have always claimed to see ghosts - the dead from the past come to haunt them. However, what if these "ghosts" aren't from the past at all? The truth is, they are people from the future, come back to observe and study us. In the post-War 27th Century, when huge areas of history and knowledge have been lost, Dyrne is a historian with a difference. Along with his colleagues, he uses advanced - and secret - technology to "visit" the past, cataloguing and reporting on what he finds. As well as keeping his occupation secret though, Dyrne is struggling with secrets of his own. Secrets that are driving him to manipulate more than the people around him.
Let me know if you're interested.

11-18-2014, 08:48 PM
Allen --

I'll take a look at your first 3k. I'm looking for a swap for my NA fantasy(50k), query here: http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=299045

I'll look at yours, take a look at mine, maybe we can work out a swap. I'm a pretty thorough beta reader.