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View Full Version : This is the reason why John Malkovich is God!



Lantern Jack
03-27-2006, 12:49 PM
John Malkovich is the heppest cat on the planet!

Hepper than Johnny Depp.

Hepper than Brad Pitt (and back-up Brad Pitt, Colin Farrell).

And yes, Rachel, hepper than Edward Furlong!!!

Everybody was so befuddled in 1999. Why is it Being John Malkovich?
Who would ever want to be John Malkovich? Well, John Malkovich, before and forever after BJM, was and is my most idolized actor, and this is the reason why...


"The other day I was walking down the street in the rural town where we live (in France) and a truck hit me, rather hard, going fairly fast. And he starts to drive off, so I chase after him, reach in the window and grab his steering wheel. And I say, 'Normally, in a civilized society, when we hit someone with a truck, we might inquire as to their well being.' So he said, 'I'm sorry,' and I said, 'Great. Try and be a little more careful and that would be fantastic, and so sorry to have troubled you.' I walk another 30 meters and he pulls up beside me a second time -- and asks me if he can have an autograph."

I pulled this off Malkovich's bio on the IMDB and it's such a perfect Malkovich moment, Wild Man Blues boiled down to a snappy anecdote. I can perfectly picture Malkovich delivering it: Rubbing his bald head, as though it's a Buddha Belly, mouth bowed in that effeminate, little grin of his, utterly intoxicated with himself. That's the reason why I love Malkovich so. He's such the narcissist, yet he gives himself over completely in the roles he plays. He's fully comfortable inhabiting his own personal worlds, but he doesn't mind departing them, on occasion, to visit the much-more-drab real world.

And watch the first five minutes of Adaptation if you think he can't take a joke. Or all of BJM.

Great! Who the **** is John Malkovich?

Oh, he's one of the great actors of the 20th century!

Yeah, what's he been in?

Lotsa stuff! That jewel-thief movie, for instance.

*******************************************
[torch songy] Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich...

*************************************************
'Scuse me there, Lantern, but you got a little crazy there, right on your lip there. Might want to go to the john and wipe that off.

[LJ exits stage left]

Now that the crazy's out of the room: Who the **** IS John Malkovich? Am I the only one who thinks he only exists in Crazy's head?

************************************************** ***

John Malkovich---just ahead of Patrick Stewart as the sexiest bald man alive:Hail:

P.S. And he said 'meters'! Not feet, but meters! A man who metes in meters is my kind of man!

God, I'm smitten!

madderblue
03-27-2006, 05:02 PM
I was smitten how many years ago (?) when I saw Of Mice and Men.

PattiTheWicked
03-27-2006, 05:20 PM
There are few movie characters sexier than Malkovitch's Valmont in Dangerous Liasions.

Yes, he is Uber Cool.

My-Immortal
03-27-2006, 05:42 PM
I like Malkovich a lot and pretty much enjoy anything he's in....I also think Christopher Walken is a great, 'cool', actor too. I'd love to see a movie with both of them in it (and off hand I can't think of one that does have them both - please correct me if I'm wrong).

Of course, Clint Eastwood is still a 'cool cat'....

....and Johnny Depp....

....and for some of the ladies let's throw in Orlando Bloom.... LOL

There you go, let's see someone make a movie with Malkovich, Walken, Eastwood, Depp and Bloom.

With.....Angelina Jolie, Keira Knightley, Kate Beckinsale....?

(Directed by Peter Jackson).

Would you watch that? ;)

Okay, sorry....back to why Malkovich is god..... LOL

Take care all -

Lantern Jack
03-27-2006, 06:15 PM
I like Malkovich a lot and pretty much enjoy anything he's in....I also think Christopher Walken is a great, 'cool', actor too. I'd love to see a movie with both of them in it (and off hand I can't think of one that does have them both - please correct me if I'm wrong).

Of course, Clint Eastwood is still a 'cool cat'....

....and Johnny Depp....

....and for some of the ladies let's throw in Orlando Bloom.... LOL

There you go, let's see someone make a movie with Malkovich, Walken, Eastwood, Depp and Bloom.

With.....Angelina Jolie, Keira Knightley, Kate Beckinsale....?

(Directed by Peter Jackson).

Would you watch that? ;)

Okay, sorry....back to why Malkovich is god..... LOL

Take care all -

Can you believe it? Peter Jackson is directing "The Lovely Bones"! I guess it's back to his Heavenly Creaturely ways. I could imagine Malkovich as the serial killer, Eastwood as the Dad, Kiera as the social worker up in heaven.

Shadow_Ferret
03-27-2006, 06:46 PM
Who is John Malkovich?

Stew21
03-27-2006, 07:46 PM
One of my very good friends was John's roommate in college for a semester. :)
and being a movie fiend, he is truly one of the best character actors of a generation.
Patti - totally agree about Valmont!

Celia Cyanide
03-27-2006, 07:53 PM
And yes, Rachel, hepper than Edward Furlong!!!

Edward Furlong is master of the understated performance. No one is hepper than he. Except you, of course.



[torch songy] Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich...

I imagine this being sung to the tune of the disco track played in the car with Natasha Lyonne in Detroit Rock City. That would qualify as another Edward Furlong reference, except that he isn't in that scene!

jenngreenleaf
03-27-2006, 08:03 PM
I was smitten how many years ago (?) when I saw Of Mice and Men.

:hooray: ME, TOO!!!!!! :hooray:

Lantern Jack
03-28-2006, 01:04 AM
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Edward Furlong is master of the understated performance. No one is hepper than he. Except you, of course.


[font=Comic Sans MS][font=Verdana][size=2]

I imagine this being sung to the tune of the disco track played in the car with Natasha Lyonne in Detroit Rock City. That would qualify as another Edward Furlong reference, except that he isn't in that scene!

John Malkovich is one of the premiere founders of the Steppenwolf Theatre, he's been in a massive amount of Grade-A brilliant films, including "Shadow of a Vampire," where he played Frederic Wilhelm Murnau, director of "Nosferatu"; "Ripley's Game," "Dangerous Laiasons," "Portrait of a Lady," "In the Line of Fire," "Colour Me Kubrick" and he's going to be in "Beowulf," and these are a teensy selection of his film credits. He was chosen by Empire Magazine as one of the (70) top 100 sexiest screen stars of all time!!! He co-owns a disco in Lisbon, is part Croatian, Won two Village Voice Obies (those are hard to get, much harder than Oscars), is a graduate of Illinois University, had enough self-control to lose 70 pounds and he likes rap!!! Dr. Dre! So he's got truly eclectic tastes!

And this is Edward Furlong's legacy...

Former girlfriend and manager Jacqueline Domac has gone to the courts to request 15 percent of Edward's earnings for the last 3 year for abuse and breach of contract.

Arrested by West Hollywood Police in 2 separate incidents: 1) for driving without a license 2) for DUI & causing a car wreck [size=3](just 4 hours after the first incident).

Abuse---of people, drugs and alcohol---do not fine actor make. Malkovich didn't have to coast by on his looks. His sexiness emanates from his personality. And he dated Michelle Pfieffer!

But each to his own:Hug2: :Hug2: :Hug2: :Hug2: :welcome: :snoopy:

Shadow_Ferret
03-28-2006, 01:10 AM
Now I know why I've never heard of him. I've never seen any of those movies. (except Shadow of the Vampire which I thought was horribly boring)

Stew21
03-28-2006, 01:18 AM
John Malkovich is one of the premiere founders of the Steppenwolf Theatre, he's been in a massive amount of Grade-A brilliant films, including "Shadow of a Vampire," where he played Frederic Wilhelm Murnau, director of "Nosferatu"; "Ripley's Game," "Dangerous Laiasons," "Portrait of a Lady," "In the Line of Fire," "Colour Me Kubrick" and he's going to be in "Beowulf," and these are a teensy selection of his film credits. He was chosen by Empire Magazine as one of the (70) top 100 sexiest screen stars of all time!!! He co-owns a disco in Lisbon, is part Croatian, Won two Village Voice Obies (those are hard to get, much harder than Oscars), is a graduate of Illinois University, had enough self-control to lose 70 pounds and he likes rap!!! Dr. Dre! So he's got truly eclectic tastes!

And this is Edward Furlong's legacy...

Former girlfriend and manager Jacqueline Domac has gone to the courts to request 15 percent of Edward's earnings for the last 3 year for abuse and breach of contract.

Arrested by West Hollywood Police in 2 separate incidents: 1) for driving without a license 2) for DUI & causing a car wreck (just 4 hours after the first incident).

Abuse---of people, drugs and alcohol---do not fine actor make. Malkovich didn't have to coast by on his looks. His sexiness emanates from his personality. And he dated Michelle Pfieffer!

But each to his own:Hug2: :Hug2: :Hug2: :Hug2: :welcome: :snoopy:

Just wanted to agree with you LJ - He is an unbelievably gifted actor. There is no question.
Furlong, though I don't mind him, hasn't done much noteworthy lately. Best thing he ever did was American History X, but who could notice him, when he was sharing the screen with Edward Norton, who ate up the whole movie with an unbelievable performance (another phenomenal character actor, that Ed Norton!)?

Jaycinth
03-28-2006, 01:19 AM
Now I know why I've never heard of him. I've never seen any of those movies. (except Shadow of the Vampire which I thought was horribly boring)

I've heard of him, but I guess I'm cinematically impaired. I haven't seen any of those movies.
Note to self : Rent of 'Mice and Men' for July 4th vacation.

My-Immortal
03-28-2006, 01:40 AM
He was also in The Man in the Iron Mask with Jeremy Irons, Gabriel Byrnes, Leonardo DiCaprio...

I also liked him in Rounders with Matt Damon and....Ed Norton (right?)

I thought he did a great job in In the Line of Fire with Clint Eastwood and Rene Russo.

Dangerous Liasons is one of my favorite movies.

He was also in The Messenger with Milla Jovovich and Dustin Hoffman.

Con Air.....with Nicolas Cage, John Cusack...

Shadow_Ferret, seen any of those? :)

Take care all -

Stew21
03-28-2006, 01:49 AM
He was also in The Man in the Iron Mask with Jeremy Irons, Gabriel Byrnes, Leonardo DiCaprio...

I also liked him in Rounders with Matt Damon and....Ed Norton (right?)

I thought he did a great job in In the Line of Fire with Clint Eastwood and Rene Russo.

Dangerous Liasons is one of my favorite movies.

He was also in The Messenger with Milla Jovovich and Dustin Hoffman.

Con Air.....with Nicolas Cage, John Cusack...

Shadow_Ferret, seen any of those? :)

Take care all -

Yes Edward Norton was in Rounders with Damon and Malkovich (J.M. played a Russian - excellent!)

Shadow_Ferret
03-28-2006, 01:52 AM
He was also in The Man in the Iron Mask with Jeremy Irons, Gabriel Byrnes, Leonardo DiCaprio...

I also liked him in Rounders with Matt Damon and....Ed Norton (right?)

I thought he did a great job in In the Line of Fire with Clint Eastwood and Rene Russo.

Dangerous Liasons is one of my favorite movies.

He was also in The Messenger with Milla Jovovich and Dustin Hoffman.

Con Air.....with Nicolas Cage, John Cusack...

Shadow_Ferret, seen any of those? :)

Take care all -

Nope. Went to IMDB and looked up his name and haven't seen any of his movies. (except the one I mentioned, Shadow of the Vampire)

My-Immortal
03-28-2006, 01:53 AM
Yes Edward Norton was in Rounders with Damon and Malkovich (J.M. played a Russian - excellent!)
Thanks, I was fairly certain it was Norton, but he's another actor that really gets into his characters....and so many of them are so slimy and real-seeming... LOL

Take care all -

Celia Cyanide
03-28-2006, 01:53 AM
And this is Edward Furlong's legacy...

Former girlfriend and manager Jacqueline Domac has gone to the courts to request 15 percent of Edward's earnings for the last 3 year for abuse and breach of contract.

Somehow, I find it hard to trust the word of a 24 year old woman who persues a romantic relationship with a 12 year old boy.

My-Immortal
03-28-2006, 01:53 AM
Nope. Went to IMDB and looked up his name and haven't seen any of his movies. (except the one I mentioned, Shadow of the Vampire)

Out of curiosity (since he really has played in a wide range of movies) - what movies DO you watch?

Celia Cyanide
03-28-2006, 01:59 AM
Furlong, though I don't mind him, hasn't done much noteworthy lately. Best thing he ever did was American History X, but who could notice him, when he was sharing the screen with Edward Norton, who ate up the whole movie with an unbelievable performance (another phenomenal character actor, that Ed Norton!)?

Animal Factory by Steve Buscemi is quite good. The new Jimmy & Judy is supposed to be quite good, although it hasn't been released yet. It just won an award at a film festival. He's always been in relatively unknown movies after T2, and he's good in the crappy movies, too. Most of my favorite actors are like that, because they aren't that famous.

Most of Furlong's performance was cut out of American History X. I own the director's cut. Edward Norton is quite good, but I appreciate the subtleties of Furlong's performance. Everything you see with Norton is Derek yelling at his mom, Derek yelling at Cameron, and on and on and on. Furlong is brilliantly understated. Yes, Norton is good at expressing his rage when he yells at people, but what about the way Furlong just looks at people?

Shadow_Ferret
03-28-2006, 02:03 AM
Out of curiosity (since he really has played in a wide range of movies) - what movies DO you watch?

I have kids.

Ice Age. Incredibles. Finding Nemo. Toy Story. Madagascar.

And then once the kids are asleep anything with zombies, werewolves or vampies (thus why I picked up Shadow of the Vampire) ;)

Isn't Ed Norton the sewer worker friend of Ralph Cramden?

Stew21
03-28-2006, 02:17 AM
Isn't Ed Norton the sewer worker friend of Ralph Cramden?

well one of them is, the other one dated Selma Hayek and starred in movies that made me love him! ;) (Fight Club, American History X, Primal Fear)
Here's a link:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001570/

Celia Cyanide
03-28-2006, 02:30 AM
well one of them is, the other one dated Selma Hayek and starred in movies that made me love him! ;) (Fight Club, American History X, Primal Fear)
Here's a link:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001570/

He also dated Courtney Love.

Shadow_Ferret
03-28-2006, 08:23 AM
well one of them is, the other one dated Selma Hayek and starred in movies that made me love him! ;) (Fight Club, American History X, Primal Fear)
Here's a link:
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001570/

Hey, I recognize Selma Hayek's name. ;)

AND Courtney Love. I'm on a roll.

Celia Cyanide
03-29-2006, 02:31 AM
Hey, I recognize Selma Hayek's name. ;)

AND Courtney Love. I'm on a roll.

I forgot to mention that Lantern Jack thinks he looks like him.