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Xelebes
10-14-2014, 09:34 PM
Foreword: this is a BLARP, a role-playing game where instead of acting out aggression, you act out passive-aggression.

Dear Employees,

We have split your division into a new corporation and we are proud to announce the creation of the White Paper Publishing Corporation. Now instead of reviewing submissions from one division to another, we proudly announce that what you will be doing is coming up with solutions and resolutions for Red Tape Media through the various publication mechanisms that we have been erected without prior consultation. With this new corporation, you will seek out new problems, sub-contract out writers to detail the problem, in-house the handling of the problem details and subsequently out-source the writing of solutions before in-housing them again to handle them and then outsourcing again to other writers to write up the resolution only for them to be in-housed for handling. Please give a warm welcome to your new XEROX copier.

With a new company comes a new work day and a new workplace. We have moved all your offices into the recently vacated offices of Troubleshooting International. If you are reading this e-mail from where you are most acquainted, please move your workstation to the new location. The IT department from Rathole Global will happily assist you moving your computer to the new workstations. The planning department from Scribbles Anonymous Worldwide will have maps to show you where to set your workstation up. Please take the time to do so.

It is a new week and I hope you take advantage of it. It is a time of new beginnings and I will be seeing you around!

Xelebes
Acting CEO
White Paper Publishing Corporation

Lavern08
10-14-2014, 09:40 PM
*Accidentally spills full coffee mug on XEROX while moving contents of desk to new location*

Oops!

Xelebes
10-14-2014, 10:55 PM
To all employees,

We would like to welcome everyone to our new printer and already it is in need of repairs. We have a set budget for repairs in office equipment and little resources to provide for flexibility. In this situation, we would normally attempt to swallow the expenses for the repair but it would seem that a relationship has already developed between the employees and the equipment. To stem any further displays of relationship crossroads between staff and equipment, we will now be creating an escrow out of your paycheques to manage these expenses. This will start with a 2% holdback with a redemption for any expenses not incurred at the business year-end. We will also like to remind the staff that this company runs on a five year business cycle.

Thank you and have a good day.

Xelebes
Acting CEO
White Paper Publishing Corporation