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jaus tail
10-11-2014, 09:50 PM
Hi, is it just me or do any of you guys also find too much narcissism around?

my one friend always says, "I always know what i want and i go towards it and then achieve. i've always had some challenge in my life." Then one other guy says, "I've always been in a happy mood." Yeah well the day I saw him off at the airport, he was talking about the problems of his life but the moment there are everyone people like to say, "I am always happy, i believe in eat, drink and sex. that's all."

One other guy's there. In the college project he had done nothing and was crying to me, told me to take over and do something. I have his emails saying, "Dude, I spoke with my brother and apparently we're jagged up. Do something, you're call." And now he says, "I dont know why you were tensed that time."

Even in TV shows, there'll be a narcissistic guy who'll be, "I am super dude." Or some woman who'll say, "I dont hold hands in public. I am the man in this relation."

Then one woman is shown as super strong and her husband was saying, "Your enemy's big problem is that she's your enemy." As if she's mafia.

While it's nice that these folks don't indulge in self pity but at times they think too much of themselves. you cant be a narc all the time.

and if you say that you've always got what you wanted then it means you've been playing with kids...

that's what we say in sports, if you havent lost then you're playing with kids.

Quentin Nokov
10-11-2014, 10:33 PM
I'll admit, I get annoyed sometimes when people upload their lives onto the Facebook bulletin board to show off how perfect they look, how perfect their family is, how perfect everything is for them. And being a person who does not have a perfect life, perfect health, or perfect looks I get kind of. . .I don't know, not bitter, but it's like these things are being rubbed in my face. There is a lot of narcissism. As my dad says, it's the the 'me' generation. People are so concerned about themselves and think everyone is interested in what's going on their lives, but when another person wants to ramble about every little thing, the other person only listens to be polite because they don't really care.

CathleenT
10-11-2014, 10:42 PM
Unfortunately, narcissism seems to be part of the human condition. Some of it is that it is unwise to show any weakness publicly. But much of it seems to be that humanity has a default to think of ourselves first. The best I can try to do is to not contribute. Still very much a work in progress.

jaus tail
10-11-2014, 10:49 PM
I get bitter a lot, which is why I deactivated my facebook account.

Fruitbat
10-11-2014, 10:53 PM
I especially don't like people who habitually brag. It gets on my nerves more than many other obnoxious things people do. No idea why.

J.S.F.
10-12-2014, 02:53 AM
For me, it's hard to be humble when you're perfect. :D

Haggis
10-12-2014, 03:03 AM
For me, it's hard to be humble when you're perfect. :D
Indeed. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCsNunGnqE0)

buz
10-12-2014, 03:41 AM
I dunno if what's described is narcissism exactly--

but no, I think most people I know well suffer from the opposite problem.

...Not that I know a lot of people well. But still. :) I haven't had the same experience.

KellyAssauer
10-12-2014, 07:03 AM
I'd tell you what I think, but it might draw unwanted attention toward me...

keiju
10-12-2014, 10:13 AM
I think what's even worse than narcissistic people, is the fact that everyone wants to be them! These days vanity is something to strive for.

thepicpic
10-12-2014, 11:16 AM
hmm. I suspect in some cases it's a case of people defining narcissism in different ways.

One of my friends called me arrogant the other year. This was following entering remission and a classmate I'd been seeing during treatment (which I messed up). From my perspective, it was more that my confidence was up and, probably for the first time, I was comfortable with who I was. In the end we dropped the matter rather than hash it out, but I wonder if a similar disparity in views can sometimes be in effect.

Old Hack
10-12-2014, 12:07 PM
Please be careful when labelling people narcissistic.

People suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder are abusive and manipulative, and cause a lot of damage to themselves and to those around them. It's not the same as being a little over-confident, arrogant or self-absorbed, which is what I see being described here.

gingerwoman
10-12-2014, 02:24 PM
Please be careful when labelling people narcissistic.

People suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder are abusive and manipulative, and cause a lot of damage to themselves and to those around them. It's not the same as being a little over-confident, arrogant or self-absorbed, which is what I see being described here.
This.

jaus tail
10-12-2014, 07:45 PM
It's ok to be over confident, as long as you don't annoy others. Being egoistic is all right. If you're indifferent to others it's ok. It's actually good to think about yourself.

I once saw a woman cross the road as if she was walking in a park. The car behind her was honking and she stopped in the middle of the road, waved at a taxi and entered it.

Like she owned the world.

Rina Evans
10-12-2014, 08:47 PM
It's different being happy with yourself and your life and being narcissistic or a complete braggart. If you're honestly bitter about people being happy in their life, that's kind of... your own issue.

Parametric
10-12-2014, 08:51 PM
I once saw a woman cross the road as if she was walking in a park. The car behind her was honking and she stopped in the middle of the road, waved at a taxi and entered it.

Like she owned the world.

You still resent that someone was a minor inconvenience to a driver for a few seconds a long time ago?

Shadow_Ferret
10-12-2014, 09:13 PM
I'm not narcissistic. I'm self-loathing.

Chris P
10-12-2014, 09:33 PM
Reminds me of one of my favorite Charles Addams cartoons (http://cartoonclicheprimer.blogspot.com/2012/08/is-there-someone-else-narcissus.html).

jaus tail
10-12-2014, 10:08 PM
I don't resent her. I find her amusing. As to how she was thinking that she's superior that when she starts to cross a road, the road must be clear, instead of the other way around.

What triggered me to start this thread, was a tv show, I saw yesterday...

a reality show had a male contestant evicted by a female contestant. when the guy was about to leave, the host told him to say some parting words to the girl who evicted him. the guy began using super foul language and everyone was clapping as if it's a great deed.

the guy then threatened another guy that he'd kill him if he meets him outside. then after he left, everyone was saying, what a great guy he is, that he said it on face. that he's not fake.

imo, it's ok to be happy and tell the world about it. it's even ok to yell at someone if you have an issue.

what bothered me more than what the guy said, was the way in which the host and others were smiling and clapping when the guy began using foul language.

that's laughing at the insult of others. like watching a street fight to entertain yourself, or enjoying a bully scene.

Wilde_at_heart
10-12-2014, 10:14 PM
I'm sure there have always been people who conduct themselves as though they were the only people on the planet and with more around period in many cities, there are more of those as well.

As for bragging on facebook, etc. They might present a happy life, but that doesn't mean they actually are. The happiest people I know are too busy to spend much time online and don't feel they need to prove much of anything to others.

KellyAssauer
10-12-2014, 10:37 PM
I'm sure there have always been people who conduct themselves as though they were the only people on the planet ...

Once, I drove through Ohio.

Rina Evans
10-13-2014, 12:12 AM
What do you think the word narcissism means? Because many of the things you've mentioned don't sound close to narcissism at all.

M.S. Wiggins
10-13-2014, 01:57 AM
Please be careful when labelling people narcissistic.

People suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder are abusive and manipulative, and cause a lot of damage to themselves and to those around them. It's not the same as being a little over-confident, arrogant or self-absorbed, which is what I see being described here.

Absolutely. Those with pathological narcissism (NPD) are not the same as those with a 'sense of entitlement' (the me crowd). A great resource, for anyone truly interested in researching NPD is Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited by author Sam Vaknin. I stumbled across his work when doing research for one my characters.

MagnusRex
10-13-2014, 06:44 AM
This self love to the point of idiocy thing has been getting on my nerves for some time now. I especially see it in music. Throughout the late 60's, 70's, 80's and even 90's, there were plenty of vapid pop songs, but there was also always a large chunk of "issues" music that was mainstream - Dylan and so many folk singers of his era, Peter Gabriel, Sting, Bob Geldof and Live Aid, Farm Aid and such through the late 70's & 80's, and the seriousness of grunge in the 90's.

But now, just about every song on the radio is about how great "I" am, how much I DON'T give a fuck about how others see me, I'm awesome, I party, I party, I party, throw your hands up like you don't care, and big asses are totes awesome - did we mention how awesome we all are??

I'm not above mindless music, I'm just aghast at the sheer amount of it today. It's almost as if if you HAVE an "issues" song today, it's a disqualification or a weakness in today's pop charts.


Or, maybe this is just what getting old feels like.

Helix
10-13-2014, 07:05 AM
Or, maybe this is just what getting old feels like.

My money's on this one.

(I hear ya!)

Primus
10-13-2014, 09:24 AM
But now, just about every song on the radio is about how great "I" am, how much I DON'T give a fuck about how others see me, I'm awesome, I party, I party, I party, throw your hands up like you don't care, and big asses are totes awesome - did we mention how awesome we all are??


There are a lot of those songs no doubt––because I listen to them habitually. That's the state of current mainstream music which reflects this generation's constant connection via social media and the internet at large where everything has to be shared and known and all that sharing got to be "da shit" (unless its the tabloids where it's then about getting that celeb in one uncomfortable situation). All about me and how boss I be. A lot of those songs, from Katy Perry to Wiz Kalifa: about havin' sex and smokin' the J. Drinking too. Lot of that drinking. Sad.

(Big asses are awesome though. :D)

cornflake
10-13-2014, 09:43 AM
I don't resent her. I find her amusing. As to how she was thinking that she's superior that when she starts to cross a road, the road must be clear, instead of the other way around.

Or she was thinking about her laundry, or that she needed a cab and oh, there's one, or that she was late, or a million other things. You have absolutely no idea what she was thinking.

What triggered me to start this thread, was a tv show, I saw yesterday...

a reality show had a male contestant evicted by a female contestant. when the guy was about to leave, the host told him to say some parting words to the girl who evicted him. the guy began using super foul language and everyone was clapping as if it's a great deed.

the guy then threatened another guy that he'd kill him if he meets him outside. then after he left, everyone was saying, what a great guy he is, that he said it on face. that he's not fake.

imo, it's ok to be happy and tell the world about it. it's even ok to yell at someone if you have an issue.

what bothered me more than what the guy said, was the way in which the host and others were smiling and clapping when the guy began using foul language.

that's laughing at the insult of others. like watching a street fight to entertain yourself, or enjoying a bully scene.

You don't like cursing. That's not a universal opinion.


This self love to the point of idiocy thing has been getting on my nerves for some time now. I especially see it in music. Throughout the late 60's, 70's, 80's and even 90's, there were plenty of vapid pop songs, but there was also always a large chunk of "issues" music that was mainstream - Dylan and so many folk singers of his era, Peter Gabriel, Sting, Bob Geldof and Live Aid, Farm Aid and such through the late 70's & 80's, and the seriousness of grunge in the 90's.

But now, just about every song on the radio is about how great "I" am, how much I DON'T give a fuck about how others see me, I'm awesome, I party, I party, I party, throw your hands up like you don't care, and big asses are totes awesome - did we mention how awesome we all are??

I'm not above mindless music, I'm just aghast at the sheer amount of it today. It's almost as if if you HAVE an "issues" song today, it's a disqualification or a weakness in today's pop charts.


Or, maybe this is just what getting old feels like.

You're missing a great deal of terrible, popular, music.

GailD
10-15-2014, 01:46 PM
Self love? You say that like it's a bad thing.

listen to the lyrics (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaplUBfiNQE)

:D

jaus tail
10-15-2014, 07:33 PM
It's healthy to love yourself, but on what basis are you loving yourself... Loving yourself and throwing a party cause you won a cricket match is cool but loving yourself and throwing a party cause the other team lost and solely cause they lost is unhealthy.

An athelete/scientist is proud of his achievement and loves himself. I've had a colleague who's proud of the fact that he can ruin anyone to dust by having an argument with him.

And there are folks who celebrate the loss of others, who laugh at the fall of others. Even I've done that at times and now when I remember, I realize that it's far different from the urge to celebrate my own success instead of a failure of someone else.

Not preaching, it's just my opinion.

Cursing a person on TV is alright, depending on the situation. But clapping at the curses is demeaning to the person at the other end and the only cause of the applause is to humiliate the person. Even the sentence of hanging to death is awarded not to insult the criminal but to give justice and some closure to the victim.

It's healthy to love yourself but why are you loving yourself. It's ok to be proud of your achievements, cause you've earned that pride.

At times we have to fight against ourself for our own good. Any anonymous support group/self help book has this as a rule.
JMO...

MagnusRex
10-15-2014, 08:22 PM
You're missing a great deal of terrible, popular, music.

If only I were so lucky. My wife & daughter love that shit.

Ken
10-18-2014, 04:33 AM
maybe "conceited" would be a closer fit

in general, we all have our faults

have plenty myself

Helix
10-18-2014, 04:42 AM
If only I were so lucky. My wife & daughter love that shit.


I'd like to think they're on another part of the forum complaining how husband/dad plays all his old shit and won't give the new stuff a chance.