I spoke into a microphone in front of PEOPLE!

Today I MC'd a spirituality fair in the town next to mine. Public speaking has been my greatest fear and most limiting obstacle in writing. I think a lot of writers can relate to this fear. Ever walked into a writer's conference about to pitch a book? Yeah, that fear is real, and it sucks. So I posted awhile ago that I started going to Toast Masters in order to stop being my own worst enemy. I want to speak my ideas clearly and with confidence, thereby inspiring others to get interested in my work.

Shortly after starting Toast Masters, in a spontaneous moment I regretted after, I volunteered to MC this fair, which was more of an expo. I think about 1,000 people went. At its busiest point 500 people were there. I announced raffle prize winners, announced seminars, and tried to promote things around as people asked me to.

For the first two hours I was absolutely terrified. They kept telling me to speak louder, and I was afraid they were going to replace me. I didn't want to lose this opportunity to face my fear, so somehow I actually pulled it together and spoke both clear and loud. It was a 6 hour event, and I am so thankful for that. By the end I felt pretty comfortable and even enjoyed myself.

This is part one of me busting through this fear like Miley Cyrus swinging on a wrecking ball. On Tuesday, I have my first open mic reading. I have been having waves of panic over this, but after today I feel a lot better.

I know people could see how scared I was because they kept coming up to comfort me. In some ways this is the hardest part, because I couldn't stand up there acting like a cool ass person that never trips up. I was a shaking leaf and all my insecurities and weaknesses were out there. But my gosh, you guys, I actually did it! And this beer I'm having now is so nice...

Thank you so much everyone! This really was a huge step for me, and one that took me years to take. But it's done!

Osulagh - that did make me laugh, and I will remember that Tuesday, when I go to read at the open-mic. I'll be sure and be loud enough the living and the dead can hear me! haha.

Mclesh - I have heard that before, that if you think of it as "this is for them, not me," you will project better and feel better energy. After reading your comment I remember after a few hours thinking, "I want to do a good job for everyone here, not just me. I want to help support this event!" That really did help, so hopefully I will remember that for future stuff!

Qui Amat Scribere - I totally feel ya, talking about my work and my writing has always been a struggle. But I think any chance you can get to stand up and speak into a microphone, I would take it! It feels like I'm in the process of crawling before I can walk, and once I walk, I can run! If you take it one step at a time getting over the fear of speaking about your book feels entirely possible.

You guys and gals are seriously so awesome! This encouragement meant a lot to me as I went for the next step today. I wanted to share a small follow up with you all - I did it!!!! I went to an open mic night and stood before the crowd and read two of my short pieces of work. There were about 30 people there, which was probably all I could handle. I managed to say a little about each before hand, and to find and hear my voice was an incredible experience. My whole body was shaking the whole time, like this giant shudder, but I managed to speak clear and loud after I got some momentum going. The moment I walked up and stepped into the spotlight was one I'll never forget. What a night!

Thank you all again. I can't believe I did it, and I feel so much more empowered to build on this and to keep facing down this fear. I'm going to share a small bit on this in my blog soon, but for now - HOORAY!

Thanks everyone!!!