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View Full Version : Has anyone here ever seen a wedding derailed at the "speak now or forever hold your peace"part?



Perks
08-10-2014, 03:21 AM
It happens in all kinds of fiction and, if I can get a hold of how I want to write it, it could happen again in my next bit of fiction, so I'm interested in anecdotes. Have you ever seen such a spectacle?

The why of the interruption would be fascinating to know, but even more than that, I'd love to hear about reactions from the congregation. How did you feel watching it?

(Certainly, I know I can have my character react any way I'd like, but I'm so curious to know, with only one cyber-degree of separation, a first person account of such a circus.)

cornflake
08-10-2014, 03:24 AM
It happens in all kinds of fiction and, if I can get a hold of how I want to write it, it could happen again in my next bit of fiction, so I'm interested in anecdotes. Have you ever seen such a spectacle?

The why of the interruption would be fascinating to know, but even more than that, I'd love to hear about reactions from the congregation. How did you feel watching it?

(Certainly, I know I can have my character react any way I'd like, but I'm so curious to know, with only one cyber-degree of separation, a first person account of such a circus.)

You mean an actual wedding, not one involving McDermot Mulrooney and Kate Hudson Heigel or what have you, right?

Does that happen? Do they actually say that at real weddings? I don't think they did at the last wedding I was at...

Perks
08-10-2014, 03:33 AM
Yeah, I meant a real-life wedding. I know they don't do it at all weddings anymore, but it wasn't all that long ago that it was still common enough.

Los Pollos Hermanos
08-10-2014, 03:38 AM
I can't help with your actual query, but I've heard it asked during wedding services. You need a chainsaw to cut the nervous tension generated by that question, then there's palpable relief when the vicar (or whoever) moves on to the next part of the service.

Perks
08-10-2014, 03:41 AM
Ha! A while back, I'd actually this How To wiki linked in some article -

http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-a-Wedding

Marlys
08-10-2014, 03:55 AM
Ha! A while back, I'd actually this How To wiki linked in some article -

http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-a-Wedding

That article seems to miss the point of that part of the service--it's not meant for "Hey, stop this wedding, I want to marry the groom/bride myself!" It serves the same purpose the reading of banns was (is, in some places) meant to do: asking the gathered community if they know of something that would invalidate the marriage about to be performed, like one of the parties is already married, or two are too closely related to marry, or one of them is marrying under duress.

Los Pollos Hermanos
08-10-2014, 04:24 AM
That link is disturbing, for reasons I am unable to articulate.

Possibly the vague whiff of:

http://forums.crackberry.com/attachments/blackberry-z10-f254/209362d1381321341t-whos-me-2690957234_8401a3d10e_z.jpg

:D

Perks
08-10-2014, 04:28 AM
Oh yeah, the whole thing is ridiculous. It just came to mind is all.

jclarkdawe
08-10-2014, 05:21 AM
At a small wedding, maybe ten guests, put together quickly, the justice of the peace avoided that question, but had to deal with a different problem. The bride, after being literally and physically supported by the maid of honor (to say that that bride was blitzed would be to minimize the condition of the bride), when she was supposed to say, "I do," stood up straight, and fell flat on her face (I saw the video). After they got her upright (realize that everybody, including the justice, had been drinking), they carried on.

The next morning (well, morning for her, afternoon for the rest of us), the bride filed for divorce.

Best of luck,

Jim Clark-Dawe

angeluscado
08-10-2014, 05:21 AM
Yep, it was said at my wedding. No one said anything. It was also said at a friend's wedding, and the bride turned and looked at all of us there to make sure no one was going to say anything. Considering some of the groom's friends, it was a possibility, even if just a joke.

veinglory
08-10-2014, 06:38 AM
It seems a moot issue since marriage occurs now under the law after the wedding, not at the whim of the officiating person. People can object all they like, it won't achieve anything but causing a scene.

SBibb
08-10-2014, 06:42 AM
I haven't ever seen a wedding have a problem at that point, however, my parents told me that at their wedding, they had rented a space in a hotel reception area which happened to be on the same say a dog show was in another room. When the priest said "Speak now or forever hold your peace," there was a well-timed (if coincidental bark) from the other room. Apparently that got some chuckles, though the wedding continued as normal.

So... not sure if that anecdote helps, as the incident wasn't a big deal, but it did become a fond memory.

Karen Junker
08-10-2014, 07:16 AM
Not related at all, but it reminded me of my first wedding -- the officiant was my 80 year old great aunt Hazel -- she was a spiritualist minister and had previously never done a wedding, only funerals. When it came to a certain part of the service she said 'In sickness and in death...'

Plot Device
08-10-2014, 07:40 PM
That article seems to miss the point of that part of the service--it's not meant for "Hey, stop this wedding, I want to marry the groom/bride myself!" It serves the same purpose the reading of banns was (is, in some places) meant to do: asking the gathered community if they know of something that would invalidate the marriage about to be performed, like one of the parties is already married, or two are too closely related to marry, or one of them is marrying under duress.



^^ This. That is the only reason why it is asked. It's sort of a semi-obligatory legal thing with centuries of precedent.

Gringa
08-10-2014, 08:39 PM
I've wanted to speak up - many times. And bet some wish I had!

Lavern08
08-10-2014, 11:42 PM
The minister (unfortunately) asked that dreaded question, and the groom's "Baby Mama" started yelling and cursing and headed down the aisle towards the altar.

Luckily, the groomsmen were big, hefty guys (a couple of them were the groom's brothers) and they immediately broke rank and stopped Michelle midway down the aisle.

The congregation gasped and stood up, but nobody was actually surprised, because it had been rumored a few days before the wedding that Michelle was planning to "bring some drama" to the ceremony.

How she made it past the ushers (cousins of the groom) is still being debated to this day. Some say they didn't like the bride either - they thought she was "stuck up." :Shrug:

I was looking for the nearest Exit, because Michelle's family was known to be thugs and most of them had been in and out of jail.

After she was "escorted" out of the church, the minister proceeded with the ceremony at an accelerated pace, pronounced them "man and wife," and everyone let out a collective *Sigh*

(Needless to say, it was the talk of the town). :eek:

Perks
08-11-2014, 12:05 AM
Wow!

My sister has been the dj and music coordinator for lots of weddings and my favorite story of hers was from a fairly difficult customer of hers. They kept changing the date and then in the final meeting, the would-be groom told my sister (with his fiance sitting right next to him) "Yeah, I don't even know if they're gonna let us get married because of the restraining order."

wendymarlowe
08-11-2014, 07:10 AM
We didn't include that part in our ceremony, and our pastor said (at least in our denomination) it's pretty rare nowadays, precisely for this reason - there's no plus side, there's the potential for drama, everyone gets all nervous about it, and the "legal" part of the wedding is the paperwork anyway so someone standing up and saying "I object!" doesn't mean diddly.

chickenma
08-11-2014, 07:34 AM
I've been minister at several weddings. At the reception, there's usually a moment when the bride/groom/minister/witnesses gather around to sign the license. If a mistake is made on the papers, they won't be registered and it costs $50 to replace them. (In our county, any mistake gets rejected, even writing outside the lines or crossing something out - it's like a speed trap.) So I'm imagining spilling one's wine on the paper, or offering to mail it in for them and not doing so.

Putputt
08-11-2014, 08:25 AM
I worked as a wedding photographer in England for a few years, and nope, never been to a wedding where it was actually interrupted. :D Often, what happens is: Minister asks the question, bride and groom look back at the congregation, the minister says something like "Okay then!" or "Phew!", everyone laughs, and they proceed to the next part.

For me, the drama, if there is one, always comes from the bride and/or groom. :D

deb22
08-19-2014, 07:48 AM
Hi, I was the spectacle, as you call it. But I can tell you that if you are writing a comedy then circus would be a correct term. However if you are actually wanting dramatic effect, circus would not be a term I would use. My brother, has lost his very being by marrying into her family. I objected and yes the priest [catholic] will not proceed with the wedding if an objection is made. After meeting with the bride, groom [my brother] and the priest I backed down and have regretted it ever since.
As for the reaction of the crowd, well it was quite silent, her side angry, and my side shocked but also happy someone spoke out.
I can tell you that a great amount of inner turmoil was going on inside of me, it was not an easy flippant thing to do to someone you truly love.
I have not spoken to my brother in years as he is gone to the drugs and booze. He has 3 daughters 2 of which are living with drug dealers and the 3rd with a 6yr old mentality [ severely disabled from the mothers ingestion of drugs of various sorts] has just given birth to twins. The father probably one of the druggies coming and going from the home.
Her side of the family had no comprehension of 'normal' and assumed I was the one with the problem.
I suspect the majority of these situations are jokes, but if not it is a very serious thing indeed, with far reaching complications and loss of family and even future for some.

Viridian
08-19-2014, 09:35 AM
Doubt this is still helpful, but I thought I'd post anyway.

This thread (http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1z4kyq/has_anyone_ever_witnessed_an_objection_at_a/) on reddit has some interesting accounts.

So does this one (http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/10oxoa/has_anyone_ever_been_to_a_wedding_where_someone).

Fingers
08-19-2014, 09:40 AM
I was best man at a wedding that the groom walked out at that moment in the ceremony. Its a long story and if you want to discuss it in PM, Im here for ya.

benbradley
08-19-2014, 10:25 AM
It happens in all kinds of fiction...
All I remember is the end of "The Graduate." The guy ran into the ceremony at the last second, and I was sure the bride was going to pretend not to know him and he was going to be arrested for disrupting things.
</offtopic>

Devil Ledbetter
08-19-2014, 05:29 PM
Not derailed, unfortunately, but...

When I was 18 my best friend, also 18, asked me to be her witness at her quickie J of P wedding. I knew that her boyfriend was abusive - I'd seen her bruises, she'd once showed me a pistol he threatened her with. We'd both gone to school with him and he was a bully and drug dealer. The whole relationship mystified me. He knew how I felt about it, too.

But she was my best friend, so I agreed to meet her at the courthouse. We rode the elevator up together and I took the opportunity to convince her to bail out, told her if it was really love it could wait, what's your hurry, my VW is parked right outside, we can split right now, he doesn't treat you right, etc.

Nope.

There were just 4 of us before the judge. I don't even remember who the other witness was. When the judge asked if anyone objected, my friend and her groom both turned around and looked at me like they fully expected me to say something. The judge said, "Oh my, who is she?"

Having already said my piece in the elevator, I held my peace.

As some of you know, this friend of mine went on to endure 28 years of relentless abuse that finally ended when she unloaded a 9mm into his back, and then reloaded and shot him in the head. She is in prison now, and will most likely remain there for the rest of her days.

On a side note, I make it a practice to regularly send her novels to read, nothing too grim, if you have any suggestions I'm always happy to take them.

allyn211
08-30-2014, 05:27 AM
I was reading through this thread and thought, some of these scenarios sound like episodes of Bridezillas!

girlyswot
09-02-2014, 08:44 PM
In the Church of England it's still a standard part of the service and at the reading of the banns which has to happen on three Sundays prior to the wedding. At my church we have a lovely guy with learning disabilities who always speaks up when the vicar asks if anyone has objections to say loudly that he thinks they should get married. It's very sweet but it does tend to alarm couples who don't know him!