I suck at getting a job!

Melanii · Aug 8, 2014

This past week I visited my family and old friends in Michigan. When I went to hang out with my friends, we all had to catch up.

We're all in in our 20's (25-26), so a lot of us have big dreams and jobs. Well everyone except me had a job. So mainly, catching up was "what are doing?"

My friends would say, "I work for a school as a teacher", or "I'm a Registered Nurse, though I'd really like to be a Medication Aide". "Right now I work 12 hour days, but I'm starting to pursue a career as a para-legal."

None of them asked me, because they all know I don't have a job. They all know what I want to be: a writer. Of course, I haven't finished a book. I still want a job, yet I can't seem to get one.

The last time I worked was in 2007, fresh out of high school. Since then I moved and have been properly diagnosed with Bipolar II and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have kept looking for jobs, and have had only two interviews. Both in which I failed due to my anxiety. Strange, since I take medication.

I recently got a letter I was denied disability. I know I could get a lawyer for it, but I still feel so odd getting it. Like I'll feel even more lazy, yet I can't seem to get a job.

I'm still doing the writer thing, of course. I have a hard time finishing things because my self-confidence is usually between 0% - 10%. I wouldn't mind working at a grocery store or some low-level position just earn some income. I don't even plan to have a best-selling book. Just published books.

If I end up becoming a cashier at like, Wal-Mart and writing books on the side, then will I happy? Will it be enough? I've thought about doing something bigger while writing on the side, yet I don't know if I should. I have so many questions, that I'm not even sure what I could do. Some notes I have in my head...

A: No matter what, I will write on the side.

B: Should I pursue a career instead of settling for minimum wage?

C: Is there anyone else with similar psychiatric disabilities as me that has a job? How did you accomplish getting one?

D: Is there anyone in the same, or similar "boat" as me? How are you dealing with it?

E: I will always feel bad about people paying for me. My boyfriend takes care of both of us. A friend of mine paid for that trip I mentioned earlier. I feel so useless.

Gah. Rant-thingy over. XD

SunshineonMe · Aug 8, 2014

I definitely think you should write. I am impressed you are writing at your age! Get your book done, don't picture anyone reading it over your shoulder. You've got it in you to finish!

Take my advice with a grain of salt, but I think a job will help with your confidence. Even if it's minimum wage (which is the type of job I qualify for) you will benefit from other ways besides financially. You don't believe in yourself yet that you can succeed (In my opinion) But I believe in you! I just have a good feeling you've got this!

But, first and foremost, your self-worth isn't dependent on a job. You are valuable just as you are. Nothing can add to it. You just need a little success under your belt to believe that's true.

Melanii · Aug 8, 2014

SunshineonMe said:
I definitely think you should write. I am impressed you are writing at your age!

I've been "writing" since I was a pre-teen!

SunshineonMe · Aug 8, 2014

That's awesome! I'm in my 40's and just published. You will have a long career by the time you're my age!

Melanii · Aug 8, 2014

If I finish something. XD

In the mean time, I have to write and find some job.

Brightdreamer · Aug 8, 2014

I'm convinced that the only reason anyone ever hired me is that nobody else wanted the job. (Seriously, the boss at my first job told me that I was the only one who showed up for the interview and didn't ask if I'd be out early on Fridays so I could go party.) :Shrug:

That said, if you need money and can get assistance from the state (denial's not uncommon, even for people who should qualify, so do consider a lawyer to help), do so. It doesn't make you a deadbeat to ask for help when you need it.

As for job hunting, they say that most jobs come not through want ads but through personal contacts, the friend-of-a-friend who knows of an opening and can put in a good word for you. Can you get out of the house to join a club or take a class?

Whatever happens, though, don't stop writing. Many professional, published writers have full-time jobs.

robjvargas · Aug 8, 2014

"Don't stop believing!" Journey.

Don't fight what you are. Work with it. Some of the people I thought were most empathic and best at customer service told me they were diagnosed depressive or manic. Maybe you've got that?

I know it sounds trite, but I truly believe that we're all capable of something. We just need to match that something with a job. I am a complete idiot at programming, yet I work in IT, and I've done well because I understand computers and can turn what they do into plain language. Executives love hearing about technology in non-technology language.

Use some imagination. Maybe it'll lead you to something.

Melanii · Aug 9, 2014

Brightdreamer said:
As for job hunting, they say that most jobs come not through want ads but through personal contacts, the friend-of-a-friend who knows of an opening and can put in a good word for you.

This is how I got my only two jobs in life: my mother. Sad, I know. All my previous, personal connections are now either up north or to the far west.

Brightdreamer said:
Can you get out of the house to join a club or take a class?

I haven't been able to find a "club" around here. Especially one I'd be interested in. As for a class, I did take a "Write That Novel" class at a tech school, but I now I don't see much. Plus, my boyfriend doesn't usually have a hundred or so dollars to throw at such a thing.

Brightdreamer said:
Whatever happens, though, don't stop writing. Many professional, published writers have full-time jobs.

I never planned to stop. No worries.

robjvargas said:
Don't fight what you are. Work with it. Some of the people I thought were most empathic and best at customer service told me they were diagnosed depressive or manic. Maybe you've got that?

I'm not sure what you mean. When I do customer service, I get really nervous and even irritated at others. There were rumors of me about to be fired at my first job, and my two bosses even had to talk to me about how I never smiled or seemed... "dead". Not the right words, but still.

robjvargas said:
I know it sounds trite, but I truly believe that we're all capable of something.

It seems my only "skills" are writing and drawing, so finding a job to jump into with those is hard. I'm also decent with operating a computer and have a fast typing speed.

I've already had an interview at GameStop, which I thought would be easy because I love games, but they gave the job to someone else. I knew I failed the interview due my behavior: no eye contact, messing with my hands, dumb answers, nervousness, etc.

I wouldn't mind being a clerk or a secretary, or even a sales associate at a specialty store (video game store, book store, clothing store, etc.).

I can't ever seem to find any of those...

Brightdreamer · Aug 9, 2014

I don't suppose you have a library that hires? It's not as annoying as retail, plus you get access to a ton of books, DVDs, and more. You need a degree to get much higher than tech, but if they hired me as a page, they'll hire anyone...

If you have decent grammar skills and typing speed, have you considered online transcription? Read a Kindle book on it a while back, and it seems legit. (I actually trained to be a medical transcriptionist, but personal issues kept me out of it.)

Supermarine_Spitfire · Aug 9, 2014

There are a few freelance websites you might want to take a look at. If you can fall into freelance writing, that would probably help somewhat as much of it is working from home. My advice, however, is to find a way to squash the anxiety, and if medication doesn't work, it might be worth looking at alternative methods. Don't worry, I'm about the same age and been diagnosed with a whole host of things, including the two you mentioned

but I found a way and so will you. I tend to know what to say to employers to get the job but I get bored very easily and rarely stay in a job for a significant amount of time. Writing has been my only consistency really. If you want any tips, I'd be happy to help out!

Fullon_v4.0 · Aug 9, 2014

A: No matter what, I will write on the side.

Yes! Do it! Writing is a fantastic outlet whether anyone but you reads it or not.

B: Should I pursue a career instead of settling for minimum wage?

If you feel that you can find an opening you feel that you will be strong in, go for it. Just make sure it's nothing that turns you off too much (i.e writing a sports section and you couldn't care less about sports).

C: Is there anyone else with similar psychiatric disabilities as me that has a job? How did you accomplish getting one?

Something to note is that you WILL get denied disability your first time around: no question there. It's a test to weed out the folks who don't really need it, but are looking to coast by. I know this because my mother is going through the same processes and is on round two with a layer. Get documentation from your doctors about your condition and don't skimp out on any details whatsoever.

D: Is there anyone in the same, or similar "boat" as me? How are you dealing with it?

Not quite, but I can empathize with the situation mentioned above.

E: I will always feel bad about people paying for me. My boyfriend takes care of both of us. A friend of mine paid for that trip I mentioned earlier. I feel so useless.

You aren't useless. This is your current situation, but it can change with persistence. Just finish that first book; and even while you're not finished, you can still say that you're a writer. Published or not, you ARE a writer. Tell your friends. If they ask what you've published, tell them you're on your first writing gig and not done yet. They won't know the difference if you're "unemployed" or not.

Melanii · Aug 11, 2014

Brightdreamer said:
I don't suppose you have a library that hires?

I think I've tried the library a good bit ago. I can't even figure out how to volunteer there, if I can at all.

Brightdreamer said:
If you have decent grammar skills and typing speed, have you considered online transcription? Read a Kindle book on it a while back, and it seems legit.

When my best friend was visiting me earlier this year, she was telling me about when she did this job and how difficult it can be. The pressure scares me. :O

Supermarine_Spitfire said:
There are a few freelance websites you might want to take a look at.

Any suggestions?

Supermarine_Spitfire said:
If you want any tips, I'd be happy to help out!

Please do! >>;;

Fullon_v4.0 said:
If you feel that you can find an opening you feel that you will be strong in, go for it. Just make sure it's nothing that turns you off too much (i.e writing a sports section and you couldn't care less about sports).

I probably wouldn't be able to get anything done if I didn't care about the subject. XD

Fullon_v4.0 said:
Something to note is that you WILL get denied disability your first time around: no question there. It's a test to weed out the folks who don't really need it, but are looking to coast by.

I have the number for a lawyer, but now I'm waiting for my boyfriend to get home for lunch so he can tell me what to say. I'm not good at talking on the phone to complete strangers.

Fullon_v4.0 said:
Published or not, you ARE a writer.

Yay!!

Now I can stop writing "unemployed" on each of my accounts and profiles.

robjvargas · Aug 11, 2014

Miss Strawberrii said:
I'm not sure what you mean. When I do customer service, I get really nervous and even irritated at others. There were rumors of me about to be fired at my first job, and my two bosses even had to talk to me about how I never smiled or seemed... "dead". Not the right words, but still.

Hmm, that's tough. I mentioned elsewhere that there've been studies that "putting on a happy face" actually works. Perhaps you can try smiling for a few minutes a day? Like the mirror idea below, it might feel silly. Give yourself a couple of weeks, and see if that helps at the end?

Miss Strawberrii said:
It seems my only "skills" are writing and drawing, so finding a job to jump into with those is hard. I'm also decent with operating a computer and have a fast typing speed.

I've already had an interview at GameStop, which I thought would be easy because I love games, but they gave the job to someone else. I knew I failed the interview due my behavior: no eye contact, messing with my hands, dumb answers, nervousness, etc.

I wouldn't mind being a clerk or a secretary, or even a sales associate at a specialty store (video game store, book store, clothing store, etc.).

I can't ever seem to find any of those...

Hmm... have you tried practicing in a mirror? It feels a bit silly at first, but it really does help you see what the interviewer sees.

Here's the hard part: Don't get down on yourself. The good news is that you're interested. Go with that. You want the job, so show that.

Melanii · Aug 11, 2014

robjvargas said:
Hmm... have you tried practicing in a mirror? It feels a bit silly at first, but it really does help you see what the interviewer sees.

Here's the funny part... I hate mirrors. XD I usually never look in them unless I'm getting ready for the day, but even then it's not that long. I despise the way I look. >>

Gringa · Aug 11, 2014

I can feel your effervescent personality thru cyberspace. The right person will come along, hire you. But the catch is: you've gotta put yourself in front of such person in the first place.

robjvargas · Aug 11, 2014

Miss Strawberrii said:
Here's the funny part... I hate mirrors. XD I usually never look in them unless I'm getting ready for the day, but even then it's not that long. I despise the way I look. >>

See, that's exactly *the* reason to do it. No one wants to be prideful, but you need a degree of self confidence in order to have a job that interacts with people (and most every job does involved that).

I think I look like a marshmallow man, round and puffy and ridiculous. But I still have to face people and look them in the eyes and show self confidence. Sometimes, after seeing myself in the mirror, I have to fake that confidence.

CAVEAT: You've reported that you've been diagnosed. I have no experience with how a medical condition is helped or hurt by this. I can only tell you that, eventually, this worked for me. And I'm rooting for you. I think you can do this.

cray · Aug 11, 2014

Miss Strawberrii said:
Here's the funny part... I hate mirrors. XD I usually never look in them unless I'm getting ready for the day, but even then it's not that long. I despise the way I look. >>

the person in your profile pic is beautiful and truly has a wonderful smile.
i'll go ahead and assume that's you.

:Sun:

sassandgroove · Aug 11, 2014

First let me say to reapply for disability. It's been my experience that they deny everyone the first round out. Don't hire a lawyer because they'll take like 20% of your benefits. Which is why there are so many law firms that advertise for that.

Keep writing!

I don't know you but I know that I had a job as a hostess at a restaurant with great owners and great customers and I found it to be rewarding and if time and money allowed me to now I think I would be a cashier again. People can make all the difference in a job, too, not just what the job is. I had a job at a factory and the actual job of putting together widgets was dull but my co-workers were fun and made the day go quickly.

Also to consider if you get a part time job at a bookstore or whatever it will give you more time to concentrate on writing. I work full time and it is hard for me to squeeze writing in, especially those weeks when I don't feel all that great.

Hang in there!!! You are worthy and wonderful.

Also if you have a boyfriend who supports you and your writing then take advantage of it. Writing can be a career but you have to put time into it like any thing worth doing.

Ken · Aug 11, 2014

Miss Strawberrii said:
Here's the funny part... I hate mirrors. XD I usually never look in them unless I'm getting ready for the day, but even then it's not that long. I despise the way I look. >>

in the victorian days (or puritan ones?) people used to cover up their mirrors so as not to indulge in the vice of vanity

you shouldn't despise how you look / that is not cool

but not being vain is admirable as I suspect you are in part

kudos

ps temping is a good employment option / just check your local yellow pages for agencies

good luck

CWHs2 · Aug 11, 2014

Miss Strawberrii said:
T

I've already had an interview at GameStop, which I thought would be easy because I love games, but they gave the job to someone else. I knew I failed the interview due my behavior: no eye contact, messing with my hands, dumb answers, nervousness, etc.

I wouldn't mind being a clerk or a secretary, or even a sales associate at a specialty store (video game store, book store, clothing store, etc.).

I can't ever seem to find any of those...

Have you tried doing mock interviews? Ask your boyfriend to act as the interviewer and ask you questions so you can practise your answers and get the body language under control. You can even film the interview and see for yourself where you can make improvements. Just keep practising and eventually you'll get better at it. Good luck!

StarryEyes · Aug 11, 2014

[deleted]

Melanii · Aug 11, 2014

Gringa said:
I can feel your effervescent personality thru cyberspace. The right person will come along, hire you. But the catch is: you've gotta put yourself in front of such person in the first place.

Hehe. I wonder how I find him or her? XD

robjvargas said:
See, that's exactly *the* reason to do it. No one wants to be prideful, but you need a degree of self confidence in order to have a job that interacts with people (and most every job does involved that).

This is true. Sometimes I think I look nice, other times I get disgusted. o.o

Cray said:
the person in your profile pic is beautiful and truly has a wonderful smile.
i'll go ahead and assume that's you.

Yup. Angles do wonders, don't they?

sassandgroove said:
First let me say to reapply for disability.

Totally am, at the moment.

Keep writing!

I'm trying. I think I had more fun with my second version of this novel than my current one. >>

Hang in there!!! You are worthy and wonderful.

Awww, thanks. ^^

Ken said:
in the victorian days (or puritan ones?) people used to cover up their mirrors so as not to indulge in the vice of vanity

Sounds like a plan!

P.S. I've tried temp agencies already, and none of them worked.

CWHs2 said:
Have you tried doing mock interviews?

For the GameStop interview I kept asking people to help me with that, but it never happened. o.o

Melanii · Aug 11, 2014

Ah, you snuck in! I love your online name and avatar! So pretty!

StarryEyes said:
I've been struggling with PTSD for the last two years, and it's really had an effect on my self-confidence. I was never really outgoing to begin with but now I just want to stay in my room and not come out. Talking to people is really, really hard, especially if you're asking for something (like a job opportunity), and most of the time I can't bring myself to do it.

These are exactly my problems! :O

StarryEyes said:
I've never had a real, paid job in my life, apart from a bit of babysitting and tutoring when I was younger. Until now I was at university. So needless to say finding a job is about as hard and terrifying as it could get.

Very true... My first two jobs were so long ago. ;_;

StarryEyes said:
A: Yes, do write! It's what keeps me going at the moment. I assume writing is your passion, and it's always good to indulge in a passion when you're not feeling so well emotionally.

It's my passion, yup. I feel all lost and depressed when I don't get to do it. XD

StarryEyes said:
Still, at this point I'll take whatever I can get. If I can find a well-paid job that I'm actually qualified for, I'll do it.

This is how I feel about jobs at the moment. If they'll take me, I'll do it. XD

StarryEyes said:
E: I know it feels awkward when you rely on other people for money. But in the meantime, remember that they're doing it out of kindness, to help you out. By supporting you financially while you look for a job, they show that they care for you.

These are good points, stuff I've never thought about before. o.o

StarryEyes said:
Best of luck! Feel free to PM if you have questions or want to talk

Oh, oh oh! Let's!

I suck at getting a job!

Melanii

Talking Fruit

SunshineonMe

practical experience, FTW

Melanii

Talking Fruit

SunshineonMe

practical experience, FTW

Melanii

Talking Fruit

Brightdreamer

Just Another Lazy Perfectionist

robjvargas

Melanii

Talking Fruit

Brightdreamer

Just Another Lazy Perfectionist

Supermarine_Spitfire

Fullon_v4.0

Shard Knight

Melanii

Talking Fruit

robjvargas

Melanii

Talking Fruit

Gringa

robjvargas

cray

Superior Life form

sassandgroove

Sassy haircut

Ken

CWHs2

StarryEyes

Melanii

Talking Fruit

Melanii

Talking Fruit