Your wish is granted...

Haggis

Evil, undead Chihuahua
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A dark, evil place.
Granted. Of course, it's still today here, but you're in Siberia. So it's tomorrow. It's freezing cold. And you're naked.

I wish Paris Hilton would just go away.
 

Albedo of Zero

That didn't hurt
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It is but you have to wait until tomorrow to enjoy it.



I wish my garden was already tilled.
 

luxintenebrae

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Granted and granted. Paris has gone away but Nicole Richie is now touring your city and has decided it's so beautiful that she'll never leave. She's moving in next door to you. Her housewarming party will start around 4 am. Hope you don't mind hearing a thousand obnoxious partiers for years to come.

Paris decides to earn a living for herself by tilling Albedo's garden. Hope you don't mind her yelling "That's hot!" every thirty seconds, but hey, your garden looks fantastic!

I wish I had 10 acres so I could have room for a bunch of puppies!!
 

poetinahat

say it loud
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Granted. But they're Hush Puppies. You inherit the collection of Imelda Marcos' 'sensible' sister.

I wish I could fold a paper airplane that did amazing tricks.
 

nandu

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Granted! It makes hourly sorties over the neighbourhood and drops REAL bombs.

I wish I were surrounded by gorgeous females.
 

luxintenebrae

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You are, but they're accompanied by their very tall, very muscular boyfriends who deck you every time you look at their girlfriends.

I wish I had my own plane so I could fly anywhere I want to.
 

Jewel101

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Granted. But it has no gas.

I wish I never got these headaches in the first place
 

poetinahat

say it loud
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Granted. You know what to wish for. You have no more wishes.

I wish those days would
come on back once more, I miss those days. Why
did they have to go? I loved them so...
 

alleycat

Waiting for Godot
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Granted. You now have acne, can't get a date for the prom, get wedgies in the locker room, fail to make the badminton team, and have to eat your vegetables (yes, even cauliflower). Yes, those were the days. . . .

I wish all my spring yard work was done.
 

Jaycinth

Your Cuddly Sociopathic
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Same Psychosis...different day.
POOF!!! The teamsters have come to your yard and paved over every squaree centimeter of ground, to a depth of 3 feet. They left you a flower pot with a plastic flower in it, and a bill, of course.

I wish I could spend a week at a writer's conference with my five favorite authors.
 

alleycat

Waiting for Godot
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Granted. Of course, the five authors hate each other and pout the whole week -- when they're not getting drunk, that is. You spend the week in the bar listening to the bartender with a diamond in his nose tell you his story idea for a best-selling novel ("how hard can it be?") that's "better than Lord of the Rings".

I wish I had a Border Collie (even though dogs are evil).
 

Jaycinth

Your Cuddly Sociopathic
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Same Psychosis...different day.
Granted. My friend has one named Bruno. He pees on me every chance he gets. I should be happy...he bites everyone else. I have observed him herding her cats, too. I'll leave him in your front yard.....

I wish my tummy didn't feel so..........urp......
 

threedogpeople

This is my BEST side!
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Granted - the government is squeaky clean but the rest of the world is completely corrupt.


I wish that I could be with my Mom eating home-made, delicious chocolate chip cookies (warm, right out of the oven).
 

alleycat

Waiting for Godot
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Granted. And your mom will enjoy it too; she's been meaning to point out a few of your tiny, tiny faults . . . such as the way you dress, your relationships, your tendency to sleep too late, not getting enough exercise, not watching your weight, watching too much TV. . . and eating way too many cookies.

I wish they would produce the play I'm writing.
 

threedogpeople

This is my BEST side!
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Congratulations, they are going to produce your play but only if Jessica Simpson and Willian Hung have the leading rolls. Also, at least 6 of the supporting rolls must be rewritten so they can be played by cats, in heat.



I wish all of my dirty laundry was washed, folded and put away properly.
 

alleycat

Waiting for Godot
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Granted. Just turn to the last two pages and read those.

I wish I had a brownie to go with the lunch I just had.
 

Jaycinth

Your Cuddly Sociopathic
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Same Psychosis...different day.
POOF! There you go. A nice big thick one too. just the way you like it. See genies aren't all bad!
Now wasn't that tasty?

I wish I knew where all of my Exlax went.
 

alleycat

Waiting for Godot
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I'll tell you. You got it confused with your birth control pills. You're going to be making another wish in a few weeks.

;-)

I wish I cared enough to know what the heck is going on around here.
 

Jewel101

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Granted. You now care so much that everything we send sends you in estatic spells or weeping fits.

I wish my homewrok was already done
 

luxintenebrae

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Granted. I'll send my 4-year-old nephew right over to help scribble in some answers.

I wish I could have my own TV show.