Granted and granted. Paris has gone away but Nicole Richie is now touring your city and has decided it's so beautiful that she'll never leave. She's moving in next door to you. Her housewarming party will start around 4 am. Hope you don't mind hearing a thousand obnoxious partiers for years to come.
Paris decides to earn a living for herself by tilling Albedo's garden. Hope you don't mind her yelling "That's hot!" every thirty seconds, but hey, your garden looks fantastic!
I wish I had 10 acres so I could have room for a bunch of puppies!!
Granted. You now have acne, can't get a date for the prom, get wedgies in the locker room, fail to make the badminton team, and have to eat your vegetables (yes, even cauliflower). Yes, those were the days. . . .
POOF!!! The teamsters have come to your yard and paved over every squaree centimeter of ground, to a depth of 3 feet. They left you a flower pot with a plastic flower in it, and a bill, of course.
I wish I could spend a week at a writer's conference with my five favorite authors.
Granted. Of course, the five authors hate each other and pout the whole week -- when they're not getting drunk, that is. You spend the week in the bar listening to the bartender with a diamond in his nose tell you his story idea for a best-selling novel ("how hard can it be?") that's "better than Lord of the Rings".
I wish I had a Border Collie (even though dogs are evil).
Granted. My friend has one named Bruno. He pees on me every chance he gets. I should be happy...he bites everyone else. I have observed him herding her cats, too. I'll leave him in your front yard.....
Granted. And your mom will enjoy it too; she's been meaning to point out a few of your tiny, tiny faults . . . such as the way you dress, your relationships, your tendency to sleep too late, not getting enough exercise, not watching your weight, watching too much TV. . . and eating way too many cookies.
Congratulations, they are going to produce your play but only if Jessica Simpson and Willian Hung have the leading rolls. Also, at least 6 of the supporting rolls must be rewritten so they can be played by cats, in heat.
I wish all of my dirty laundry was washed, folded and put away properly.
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