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ChloeRose
08-24-2019, 05:16 PM
Granted...in the form of this Genie making amends. Per your request and followed up motion, Moose farts will now smell like the flowers they lazily munch on in the picturesque pines of Maine. Moose will not even be awares off said gas passes, however they will hear it. As will all the forest and surrounding towns. Flowers, mixing with the peculiar digestive juices of the Mooses innards, now result in a sound akin to a projected bullhorn ringing the (in)glorious sounds of nature (hard) at work. The birds will all be scared witless and find more pleasant roosting homes, but a delightful floral scent will be detected throughout the entire neighboring country of Canada. (You're welcome?)

I wish my dog could make coffee.

Azdaphel
08-27-2019, 11:29 AM
Granted. Now your dog is a jack-of-all-trades. He could do whatever you want him to do... if only he had hands instead of paws. At least he can speak human language.

I wish the dog of ChloeRose becomes a monkey.

ChloeRose
09-03-2019, 05:39 PM
Granted. A monkey did show up on my doorstep after logging in to compose bits of poetry he'd penned while going about his other monkey-type stuff. He scoffed at my requests as he thought coffee-making below his stature as favored zoo monkey Poet Laureate and didn't like the brand I buy. Off he went after some screeching and scratching implying that a wish involving his participation be more appropriate to his capacities and talents.

I wish that a monkey could write a book of poetry and find a willing publisher....

CDSinex
09-04-2019, 01:12 AM
Granted: But as fate would have it, that monkey is the proverbial one-in-an-infinite-number of monkeys and it proceeds to hammer out all of the poems written by Shakespeare. Your publisher is not impressed, but you do get booked on a late-night TV segment of stupid pet tricks.

I wish fall weather would get here.

Nymtoc
09-04-2019, 01:56 AM
Granted. Fall weather will get here - eventually.

I wish the commercials I hate would all disappear from TV.

ChloeRose
09-04-2019, 06:43 AM
Granted. Those commercials of disdain have been removed from your television programming. However to make up for lost revenue they become pop-up adds on your laptop, billboards seen continuously on your commute, and added to all radio stations within earshot.

I wish I had a one-person individual helicopter, otherwise known as "The Mosquito"...

Nymtoc
09-04-2019, 09:55 AM
Granted. You have a one-person individual helicopter known as "the Mosquito." Unfortunately, you don't know how to fly it, and when you take it aloft, it sputters and goes into a spiral and...(the Genie hopes you have good medical coverage).

I wish the dog I had when I was five years old would come back to life.

Azdaphel
09-04-2019, 11:48 AM
Granted. He returns as the ghostly black dog from the British folklore. He will haunt your backyard at night and howl continuously from dusk till dawn. Any one who complains about it will disappear without a trace. Soon, even your own family avoid your home. People around town says you are cursed.

I wish I meet a ghost.

PorterStarrByrd
09-05-2019, 10:22 PM
Denied. I'm sending Nymtoc instead. He is much scarier.

I wish my lawnmower was in a little better shape.

ChloeRose
09-06-2019, 07:15 AM
Granted. It's now been fixed and is in excellent condition, so good in fact that it got stolen from your garage before you had a chance to use it. Next time ask for a goat. Much more environmentally friendly and less likely to get nicked.

I wish my printer wouldn't keep running out of ink.

Nymtoc
09-06-2019, 08:07 AM
Granted. A permanent ink flow has been installed. It runs constantly, and if you don't use the printer for at least five minutes an hour, it has been known to leak a bit. But that won't bother you, will it? :e2drown:

I wish my kinkajou wouldn't act so kinky.

ChloeRose
09-08-2019, 12:09 AM
Granted. Your kinkajou's days of kinkiness have long set behind the mountains as all of those youthful carefree days of pleasure eventually do. Now, without romantic aspirations, his only interest is watching game shows, napping on your sofa, and screeching at you when it's time for lunch, as they are wont to do.

I wish my dog could sing Opera to my neighbor everytime he's on his patio.

Kinsman
09-10-2019, 07:43 AM
Granted. Your dog only knows one song, however; and the Tourette's Syndrome that plagues it while singing has a ruinous effect on both the song and your relationship with your neighbors... all of them.

I wish the fruit trees in my orchard would grow faster.

Azdaphel
09-10-2019, 11:42 AM
Granted. Now you have Yggdrasil and Ragnarok is on the way.

I wish to meet ChloeRose.

PorterStarrByrd
09-11-2019, 02:54 AM
Denied .. the genie does not traffic granting dangerous wishes.

I wish I had a goat

Azdaphel
09-11-2019, 11:51 AM
Granted. You had it. It disappeared. Isn't the smell of cooked goat coming from your neighbor's house? The one you si actually having a party.

I wish everyone who buy a lottery ticket have a winning ticket (and let chaos begin).

PorterStarrByrd
09-11-2019, 05:24 PM
Granted: Get in line to collect the $2.36 you won with your $2.00 lottery ticket ... shouldn't take more than an hour or so (what is minimim wage now?)

I wish I had another goat

ChloeRose
09-12-2019, 01:12 AM
Granted. The Genie appreciates your chivalry regarding prior wishes (although I'm not that interesting of a subject matter, believe it or not). Regardless, you shall have Goat Numero Doce. A baby goat no less. So, clear a spot in your living for his bed as he'll need your constant attention, fed at least four times a day, and you'll know when by his resounding calls for assistance. Stock up on goat milk formula. And a mop.

I wish I could ski.

PorterStarrByrd
09-12-2019, 04:30 AM
Granted ... you can now water ski, though it is getting a bit late in the season. By the way, I have an anchor you can deliver to the marina accross the way.

I wish I had a couple more goats.

Nymtoc
09-12-2019, 09:49 PM
Granted. But one of the goats has a broken leg, and the other shows signs of rabies.

I wish I had the magic touch.

PorterStarrByrd
09-13-2019, 03:15 AM
DENIED!!!! Shame on you !!!!

I wish I had four more goats

Nymtoc
09-13-2019, 11:02 AM
Granted. They are about three inches tall and were made of modeling clay by some kid in kindergarten. (At least I think they are goats--they might be rats.)

I still wish I had the magic touch.

Azdaphel
09-13-2019, 11:19 AM
Granted. You have the magic touch of Midas and all the problems that come with it.

I wish to have a tea party with the mad hatter and the hare.

ChloeRose
09-13-2019, 10:27 PM
Granted. There happens to be an off-broadway production of Alice in Wonderland very close by. The Mad Hatter and the Hare would be happy to have tea with you...as long as it's spiked and you're willing to listen to their complaints regarding how unfair it is that they never made it to the bigtime. Don't be late.

I wish I had a 100-year old turtle.

PorterStarrByrd
09-14-2019, 04:24 AM
Granted ... he has been dead for about 40 of them so time has not been kind to him since that incident with the Mack truck.

I wish I had eight goats

Azdaphel
09-14-2019, 11:19 AM
Granted. Each one is a different color: a red goat, an orange goat, a yellow goat... every color of the rainbow. You can't see the eighth one though, unless you are a wizard from this strange flat, circular world sitting atop four elephants travelling through space on the shell of great A'Tuin.

I wish for honest politicians.

ChloeRose
09-14-2019, 07:26 PM
Granted. There are honest politicians. Lots of them, but more often than not they lose elections.

I wish the live 100-year-old turtle I really wanted had a harem of goat friends to hang out with...that would be cool.

Azdaphel
09-15-2019, 01:15 PM
Granted. But you didn't ask to finally have this turtle. But don't worry, there is only one place where you can find it: the Galapagos. Now you know what you must do.

I wish for a good crossover between Sailor moon and Saint Seiya.