Your wish is granted...

Eudaimon

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I think the 'sex' question only offers a few choic
Granted! But with mastery of the laptop comes great responsibility, since your computer controls the forces that bind the particles in every atom in the universe...just don't hit Ctrl+Alt+Shift+*+7, or we're ALL doomed.

I wish hotels gave out toy train gift baskets as welcome gifts.
 
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Oh crap ... I think I just did ...

Granted - you check into the Pennsylvania Hotel in NYC - across the street from Pennsylvania Station (round a quarter to four) and get your very own Chatanooga Choo Choo

I wish I spoke Spanish so I could order food at Mc Donalds without them messing up my order.
 

NightWynde

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Granted, here's a couple of quarters, the horse is in front of Wal-Mart. Sure, your knees will be up to your chin and you're probably getting a little too old for this but you really should be more specific with your wishes. Hey, at least the horse is blue, that's kinda neat.



I wish the carnie that was at the fair we went to this weekend wouldn't have been so danged doped up and drunk (how doped up and drunk was he? He had trouble operating that little gate. Oy!) so I could have trusted his reaction time for my kid to ride the ride he wanted to ride, 'cause if he could have I wouldn't have been stuck with my 7yo riding the adult version (mind you, I love my kid, but I hate the danged rides that make you feel like you've been put into a blender.)
 
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Granted - I have arranged to have that particular carnie moved to a different part of the carnival - the freak show - he'll fit right in over there with his third eye carefully placed there with the assistance of the laser site on my Glock.

I wish the ***** who wrote me a nasty letter today complaining about the group I run would wake up tomorrow finding certain parts of her anatomy glued shut.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted, but with her nostrils glued shut, she can still complain, she just can't sneeze !

I wish today's dentist appointment was already over and I could go take a nap now.
 

Yeshanu

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Granted. But since a hole in the lower rear region of her anatomy has been closed off, she's been retaining more and more...

Stuff. And the next time you have group, she explodes all over the room.

I wish I owned that $500,000 home I saw on Sunday, the one with the home theatre in the basement and the grand piano in the living room.
 

alleycat

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Granted. Oh, did we mention the sink hole? Well, we've already accepted your good-faith offer. Thanks.

(Sometimes) I wish I didn't have a house. "First you have the house, then the house has you."
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. Now, the House has You - and there's no getting out !! Luckily you can still order Chinese food and pizza, but the house makes you pay.

I wish I had some mooshoo pork for lunch today. And a sack of money to give that dude holding the gun on Alley's kitty.
 

Jaycinth

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Granted! They've been cleaning out the house up the street ( you know where the guy hung himself in May but his sister didn't find him til last week. In between the body parts in the fridge is a bag of carry out mooshoo pork that has never been opened. The receipt is still taped to the bag. It's yours.

Oh, and while they are bringing out the body, an 'oily' paperbag slips out of the body bag and is completely ignored by everyone. You retrive it and inthe bag is..slightly bloody and rancid 400,000 Thai Bhat ( You can find the exchange rate on Bloomberg.Com.)

I wish I did not crave Oreos and tequila.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted, you're starving for HoHo's and Radish Vodka. I'll bring the glasses.

I wish I had a good recipe for chocolate martinis.
 

Jaycinth

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Same Psychosis...different day.
Granted. You have several great Chocolate martini recipies. But your public wants Radish Vodka served with a shot of Cayenne. Oh and the Hoho's we want a truck load of Hoho's.

I wish MM would hurry up and bring more Radish Vodka and Hoho's. A LOT more.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted, I'll just nip off to Costco after I rent a U-Haul :D

I wish they made a HoHo vodka.
 

alleycat

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Just get two hos and give 'em a vodka. That's what I do.

Oops. I got too excited to make a wish.

I wish I knew what was down there.
 
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MidnightMuse

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Granted, I'm down here :D Now keep your paws off those hos and pass the vodka.

I wish I had the energy to run errands after work, instead of taking a nap on the couch like I usually do.
 

arrowqueen

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Granted - you can run errands to your heart's content - until your energy finally runs out, you fall asleep leaning over the freezer cabinet and wake up with a frost-bitten nose.

I wish I hadn't just spent the last half hour trying to add an attachment only to discover we can't do that any more.
 

maskedmarauder

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Granted. you really didn't spend the last half hour trying to figure it out. you already knew but forgot and spent the last half our trying to figure out your wish.

i wish i could walk on my hands
 

alleycat

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Granted. Get down on your hands and knees. See how easy that is. Just don't sniff any dog's butts while you're down there. It's rude.

I wish I had a dog.
 

alleycat

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Granted. You have a . . . watch dog!

I wish I knew where this year has gone. It's almost Labor Day.