Your wish is granted...

Jaycinth

Your Cuddly Sociopathic
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Same Psychosis...different day.
Granted. But, of course you realize that puts you intothe 32% tax bracket and since you had nothing withheld from it...I mean not even FICA, well the IRS is looking for you. Oh Did I mention that the Alternative Minimum Tax gets triggered at this income level, also????

I do so wish you would stop spreading peanut butter on the fresh corpses.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. It's now full to brimming with warm, 3-day old yaks milk.

I wish the people I work with would all leave me alone to write today!
 

alleycat

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Granted. I'll send you a case of Skunk Oil. It's guaranteed to keep the insects away. And everything else.

I wish someone would volunteer to wash my car. (Extra points if they happen to be the Vanderbilt cheerleaders . . . )
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. Now instead of powdered filth coating everything in your house, you have the big chunky kind.

I wish I didn't have to drink so much water all day long in order to prevent more kidney stones.
 

alleycat

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Granted. Beer will work just as well and after a while you won't care anyway.

I wish I had a maid. And a butler. That would be nice . . . "Jeeves, get the door! It's probably those Watchtower folks again."
 

Jaycinth

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Granted. You have a castle, too. Your maid is a beautiful 24yr old blonde with natural assets who is a member of 'Satan's International Damnation Tabernacle' and she's just biding her time until Dec 25th when she can kill you and claim the most demonic points. The Butler is a gross pustulent hunchback who doesn't care what he copulates with, and he's biding his time until December 25th when he can get both you AND the maid.

Oh yes, the causeway to the mainland is down, and the other servants ran off with the boats.

I wish you would stop bathing in plum jelly.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. But first the plagues have to stop and look up Mozzies in the dictionary of slang. Then they'll get right on that.

I wish I could bathe in plum jelly.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. Now they're in perpetual fog mode, and it gets thicker and turns to frost whenever you flip on the TV to that free porn channel your cable doesn't know you're getting.

I wish it was Fall and I could go shopping for lovely sweaters and pretty jackets.
 

davids

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Granted and for you loving adoption you receive the nice mommy award

We wish that we would remember more often about the way things were
 
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LOL More like the Mommy Dearest Award -- A Wire Hanger

Granted - you can remember the way things were - back when you were Amish and living in a barn with no electricity and driving a buggy to town really slow to annoy tourists .

I wish someone would make Oprah Winfrey scrub floors in a women's prison.
 

davids

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Granted and you can be the large-fat-double breasted lesbian kicking the pail of soapy-dirty water onto the floor she has just cleaned

We wish we could video this scene and sell it on E-bay
 

davids

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Granted but you will have to go to your local Wallmart-just look for the greeter wearing the double-breasted shark skin suite-and if you find her take a picture and hang it over your bed just to remind you of what a double-breasted lesbian really looks like-not that there is anything wrong with that

Speaking of not that there is anything wrong with that we wish Seinfeld was still on and we could reminsce about what real New Yorkers are all about
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted, your cable company carries repeats. Sadly, ONLY repeats. 24/7 !

I wish it was Friday and my edits were all done.

*oh fudge ripple, typed too slow*

Granted. It's perfectly legal for them to carry semi automatic weapons, though. Sick'em, Fido !!!

I still wish it was Friday and my edits were done.