Your wish is granted...

Eveningsdawn

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Granted. They're just not of your preferred sex.


I wish there was an easy solution to the horse-and-college problem.
 

Jaycinth

Your Cuddly Sociopathic
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Same Psychosis...different day.
No problemo. My cat just took your horse's SAT and got 1100. Which is not great but it is good enough for Texas A&M. You just need to pay a little extra for room and board. I mean..it is a HORSE!

I wish someone would take down all of these !&*##!! 'inspirational' posters and put up a few of Marilyn Manson and Metallica.
 

sacredmime

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Granted, but now no one feels inspired and your company becomes bankrupt.

I wish I were pretty and witty and wise.
 

Perks

delicate #!&@*#! flower
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Zap! You are now permanently happy, but all your interesting friends won't talk to you and your poetry now dries up from lack of emotional depth.

I wish I didn't have to clean the house.
 

Danger Jane

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Granted! You don't! But you lose all friends because your house is such a pigsty. But you dont have to do it because no one's going to make you.

I wish I had more gum.
 

arrowqueen

RIP, our sarky besom
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You do - but unfortunatel;y it's been scraped off the pavement.

I wish I had some new clothes.
 

sacredmime

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Granted, but they're all woven from human armpit hair.

I wish I had some vanilla ice cream to eat. Yum!
 

Jewel101

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Granted. But it's already melted and you have no spoon...or napkins

I wish I hadn't missed the hail here in hawaii
 

poetinahat

say it loud
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Jewel101 said:
I wish I hadn't missed the hail here in hawaii
Granted. However, your hat has holes, and your heart's hazy health means that all these H words hurt like holy hell.

I wish the dreamt-of AW convention would happen soon, and we could all get away, afford it, and get there for it.
 

eldragon

in a van down by the river
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I wish the dreamt-of AW convention would happen soon, and we could all get away, afford it, and get there for it.

Granted! But soon after arrival, everybody will start fighting and find out that they only thought they had things in common. The soire is such a disaster, none of us have the stomach to go back to AW, which means it'll never be the same again.

I wish movie makers wouldn't use so many vulgar words, so my 8 year old could watch them.
 

sacredmime

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Done! In fact, all words are taken out and hollywood begins it's new "mime era."

I wish I could talk to squirrels.
 

Haggis

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sacredmime said:
I wish I could talk to squirrels.

You got it. Unfortunately, you also had to quit your job, because they were unwilling to move your office up in a tree.

I wish I had three wishes.
 

Eveningsdawn

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Granted! But on one condition - they all must have something to do with asparagus or another equally unpleasant vegatable.

I wish I could think of something to write for my essay.
 

Yeshanu

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No problem! Your essay is about the word "something." 2500 words.


I wish my kids would stop eating me out of house and home.
 

sacredmime

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Granted. All their teeth fall out and they now gain sustenance solely by sucking the life force out of Girl Scouts.

I wish I had a box of Girl Scout cookies.
 

alleycat

Waiting for Godot
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No problem. I'll send Troop 206, 1419, 383 and 2880 to see you, plus the daughters of all the people I work with.

I wish they would start the race at Bristol and stop talking about it.
 

Danger Jane

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Granted. But then your cable goes out and you are forced to listen to the radio commentary, which doesn't exist because they stopped talking about it.

I wish I had a magic phone that always worked.
 

arrowqueen

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Granted - but being a magic phone, it's only connected to Fairyland.

I'd like to be young and slim again.
 

alleycat

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Granted. You're 12 again. Now clean your room and get off the phone. And no, you can't have boys over.

I wish I had a Ferrari.
 

Eveningsdawn

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Granted. But now you have to go take care of your little siblings instead.

I wish Dee (my girl) lived nearer.
 

alleycat

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Bingo! You're Richard Simmons. Everyone think he's funny.

I wish I knew the answer to everything. I thought it was 42, but I haven't got it to work.