Ah yes - so many masochists, so little time ... Granted - we will turn your living room into a fully equipped Dungeon so you can watch TV and use the Iron Maiden at the same time ...
Granted - you and Arrowqueen now speak a version of ancient urdu mixed with a version of tagalog spoken in only one small village in the Phillipines - deserted for the last 100 years and unknown to anyone else on the planet ...
Granted -- we will get someone to shift it for you ... Evil Nurse Nancy is on her way over ... I'd suggest you not let her get anywhere near your backside though ...
Granted. Unfortunately right after she adopts you, she realizes you lied about who you are, and exposes you as a fraud on her show. bummer. You're now in a million little pieces.
Granted - the blossoms have been snipped off. "Signed, Morticia Addams."
(wait a minute... that would actually be quite cool... oh, well -- you get a good wish. sorry!)
Do'h! Ok grocery delivery granted. You will have gorgeous delivery men to deliver your goods as often as you need them. Unfortunately, your hair will always be matted to your face and you'll have just a little bit of drool falling from the corner of your mouth.
Granted -- you now look like Barbie Jackson - Victoria Secret model circa 1965 she's let herself go just a little bit ... now she models for Lane Bryant
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