Your wish is granted...

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Granted - but in order to learn, you must spend about six months swimming in their tank at Sea World and your skin gets all shriveled up and falls off ... You end up speaking leper at the colony in Kalaupapa, Hawaii under the name of Lazarus ... Don't forget to wear lots of sun block ...

I wish MTV would pimp my ride ...
 

NightWynde

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Granted...but MTV has misinterpreted your meaning of "pimp" so your car is now standing on the street corner every night selling "lube jobs."


I wish I had one of those Microsoft Natural keyboards instead of this cheapo one I got with the computer.
 

MidnightMuse

Midnight Reading
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Granted. Only after a few days of typing, you find out there's really nothing "natural" about Microsoft.

I wish I had a theater in my living room.
 

alleycat

Waiting for Godot
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Granted. But your floors are sticky now and there's a loud-mouthed jerk who talks through every movie.

I wish life was simple.
 

MidnightMuse

Midnight Reading
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Granted. Welcome to the Appalachains. You can have Uncle Billy-Bob's shack. There's runnin' water down by the creek, and I'll have Jeb dig ya a new hole out back o'the wood shed. You'll be wantin' to gather up some leaves - and be careful of them thar' prickly ones.

I wish I had a swimming pool in my back yard.
 

davids

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granted but we prefer chartreuse

I wish petroleum jelly came in suppositories
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. You refuse to do ANYTHING the heat tells you to do, and you're embarassed to be seen in public with it.

I wish I'd thought to put my bra in the freezer last night
 

davids

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Granted

I wish you had a nice lover who fit all your expectations and had a good memory so he could remind you to put your bra in the freezer-or even do it himself-after all what are men for-eh?
 

davids

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Granted

we wish you critters would stop confusing a mentor like-paternal like-agnostic like-loving platonic relationship which we have with Muse-for a disgusting passion filled-loinally perverse-torrid-bra-freezing-maniacal relationship

And I sure as hell don't need no Viagra-just my wife-so there-cheeze-can't an old fart have any fun at all?
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted, but they've given away ALL their money, and next Spring computers will be SO passe.

I wish I had a brand new computer.
 

Jaycinth

Your Cuddly Sociopathic
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Poof! you have a maid.The new girl's name is....
'Cindy'.

I wish I had new power tools made from recycling ......CHRISTINE ( the car..MUAHAHAHAHA!!!)

(people are so lively today...hopping in front of each other...)
 

Jaycinth

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POOF!!! You do. However it is going to be interesting explaining your nakedness, her blood and the pieces of skull sticking out of the blender you just broke.

I wish Stephen King (you know...THE Stephen King!) would read my posts.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. Sadly, he's got you confused with someone else, and has just volunteered to mentor 'Cindy' and her writing career.

Damn.

I wish I was sipping a martini right now
 
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Granted - however you are sharing the martini with Jessica Simpson as she like tells you like all about her new boyfriend and like why she like divorced Nick and all and like why no one like appreciated her acting in The Dukes of Hazard and like how she should have been like nominated for an Emmy for that like because she was like so good and all and like how no one believes that her boobs are like genuine and that she doesnt like lip synch ... duh!

I wish I had a pony...
 

davids

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Granted but I think you might need one of the Bud Studs to pull the truck of your so whitty intellect

we wish everyone could make us chuckle like you all -like you know-like persiphone spends-like-you know-like a lot of-like time-like thinking up these-like things-like she kinda like-really-like-impresses us-like-with-like her-intellilikenesses
 
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Granted ... and thank you -- I think -- compliments from Dave are kind of like understanding what's going on on Lost...

invites the cast of Last Comic Standing to move into Dave's house and keep him laughing all the time ... However, I strongly suggest you avoid using the bathroom -- those guys are pigs ...

In honor of tonight's Miss Universe Pagent = I wish for world peace ... I also wish Donald Trump would give up that pathetic comb over and join Hair Club for Men
 

alleycat

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Granted. You're hired! You are now The Donald's personal hair care assistant. A fringe benefit of the job is that you will get to hear The Donald's expert opinion on every subject known to man.

I wish I would stop eating these Hershey's Kisses that are next to my computer.