Your wish is granted...

A. Hamilton

here for a minute...catch me?
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granted, the kids bribe you to leave them on their own, but they accidentally burn down their house in your absence. you are in so much trouble.

i wish i could be 16 again for one day.
 

Cath

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Granted, unfortunately, you're back in school with all the nasty, trendy high school kiddies and they make your day a misery.

I wish I could buy that house I want.
 

Nim

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granted, but the vacant house next door is being converted into a rave club specializing in the new genre of punk rock yodeling

I wish i could lose 10 pounds
 

lazy_sod

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Granted. Unfortunately those ten pounds were lost through the amputation of various body parts. But other than the missing limbs, you look fabulous.

I wish for pizza.
 

Nim

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granted, though I think that's a ring finger mixed in with your cheese! and there's an ear, and a few toes, and I'm pretty sure that's not tomato sauce...

I wish I could have a 104 inch plasma TV
 

arrowqueen

RIP, our sarky besom
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Granted. You're so focused it takes you twelve hours to remove one comma - then put it back again.

I wish a handsome gardener would come and pull out all my weeds.
 

Cath

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Granted, unfortunately, although he's handsome he's also a bit thick and he pulls out all your plants as well. Your garden is now just grass and earth.

I wish I could make a living as a writer.
 

MidnightMuse

Midnight Reading
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Granted. The JC Penney's catalog hires you to write the descriptions for their childrens clothing line. And if you're good, you can move up to women's swimsuits.

I wish tomorrow wasn't Monday.
 

poetinahat

say it loud
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Granted. TODAY is Monday. Welcome to my side of the international dateline.

I wish the Yankees would stop winning.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. They play the Mariners next and . . . oh wait . . . sorry.

I wish the Mariners would start winning.
 

Jaycinth

Your Cuddly Sociopathic
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Same Psychosis...different day.
POOF!!! While you were sitting there arguing with your friend's ex-jerk's Mother in Law the headache vanished...replaced by one gigantic pain in the.... OH MY LIVING SUMP PUMP!!!!

I wish I could understand how the idiots managed to get the roll of paper twisted up and jammed in the adding machine...(oops, maybe I should wish I'll never find out.)
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. But by GOD you wish you'd never found out !!

I wish my sore throat would go away.
 

threedogpeople

This is my BEST side!
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Granted but now your genitalia is swollen to twice it normal size and you have to sit on jury duty, 10 hours a day, for the next 2 weeks.


I wish my new flooring would arrive early....
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted, it's early, it's the wrong color, wrong style, and ten square feet too short. And the installer has serious BO and a crush on you.

I wish I had ten chimpanzees to finish typing my WIP.
 

davids

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Granted but it wont help bury the past

I wish sensitivity was not forced on the insensitive by the courts
 

Jaycinth

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Same Psychosis...different day.
Granted!. The courts have been replaced by the entire Spanish Inquisition. These rocking fellows have been transported up time in all their black and red glory to right the wrongs of our curent court system.

So let's all get on our knees and wail like the simmers we are cause here comes that craaaazeee preacher, that paragon of unwashedness, that flailer of the unrepentant.... I give you..

SAVANROLA!!

Burn Vanities..burn.
(Chee, I think Medevalist is gonna get me on this one too...)

I wish people would stop giving me openings like this. (Wink);) ;)
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. This time I'll simply say: 'Cindy'

I wish Ryan Reynolds would walk in through my office door.
 

davids

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Granted-is he some kind of deep intellectual type sex toy?

I wish that Muse would did not have this tiny foible for the sexually challenged
 

davids

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Granted-can you paddock a foiblescious pony?

I wish that we could sit in worldy awe of a camp fire and coombaya and not piss anybody off-even if I don't know how to spell that word
 

Rivana

Walks in the shades.
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Granted, unfortunately that campfire would be in the south-pole.

I wish making the world a better place wasn't always an uphill struggle.
 

davids

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Granted but it is God's will don't ya know?

I wish agnosticism was a word. (that I could understand at least)
 

Cath

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Bingo - it is, and you use it frequently. Unfortunately, it carries the same penalty as saying Jehovah in a Monty Python film - enjoy your stoning!

I wish it wasn't so humid today.