Your wish is granted...

Jaycinth

Your Cuddly Sociopathic
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Of course you can. See that nice field, see that nice tree. Now just settle down in the warm sun and naaaaappppppppp.
(Shhhhhhh, did I forget to mention that this is a nice quiet resort in the Catskills....named 'Sleepy Hollow' shhhhhhhhhhh)

I wish my son would finish repairing my car. (I also I wish I had a cup of clean ice water, but I'm too lazy to walk 10 feet to get it.)
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted - but he got confused near the end and put a fresh glass of ice water in where the oil goes.

I wish I hadn't just thought of three more novel ideas that I don't have time to write just now!
 

lazy_sod

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Granted - those ideas were given to Dan Brown instead, and he just made millions off of each of them!

I wish I would get off my lazy butt and actually write something.
 

Jaycinth

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POOF! Who'd ever have imagined that you'd manage to spray paint an entire epic novel on the Capitol Building overnight!

I'm in awe.

Agents Smith and Smith aren't.

I wish I could imagine how you'll get out of this.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. Not only have you imagined it, you wrote it, and the entire story became a best seller. Unfortunately it also gave terrorists and skateboarders ideas, and Agents Smith and Smith are after you.

Cuba's nice this time of year.

I wish I knew more about publishing in magazines and trades.
 

alleycat

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Granted. You get a copy of Jenna's book and read it from cover to cover.

I wish it would rain (before my fireworks-crazy neighbors set us all on fire).
 

Jaycinth

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You get rain. Buckets and buckets of rain. It is 1% H20 and 99% HNO3 . You light a match. . . .

I wish 'Cindy' would bring me some staples.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. She staples you to your desk then forces you to sit there and listen to her book proposal that she's sure you'll want to write for her.

I wish the weekends were longer.
 

alleycat

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Granted. From now on you'll spend your weekends in a doctor's waiting room, or standing in line to renew your drivers license. It will seem like all eternity.

I wish the year wasn't half over already.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. The year is no longer half over. It's now half baked, half-assed, and has only half a mind.

I wish I could drop a few pounds.
 

A. Hamilton

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Granted, You drop a few pounds, right on your foot. Ouch. Looks like you'll be laid up for a while.

I wish my kids would remember to take the trash out.
 

alleycat

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Granted. They will . . . about three weeks from now. Gee, your house is smelly.

I wish my cat would learn to change her own litter box.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. Kitty can now change the litter pan, and drive the car to the store for fresh litter and some nice scented liners. And a gross of tuna, five pallets of fresh salmon and twenty seven steaks. Oh, and that's all on your VISA.

I wish the Scottish Highland Games were this weekend, instead of the end of the month.
 

alleycat

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Granted. You are now Jenna. Don't let the server go down again, Omni-G.

I wish God would, like, forget all the stuff I've done. Just this once.
 
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A. Hamilton

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He remembers allright. Everything you've done. Everything. Do you have lightening insurance?

I wish I didn't have a black widow infestation in my camping gear.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. The black widow infestation is now in your underwear drawer.

I wish my favorite socks didn't have that annoying hole in the heel.
 

alleycat

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Granted. Your youngest child has just called 911 for a sock emergency. Expect a visit shortly. Uh, don't expect smiling faces.

I wish I had a new Martin guitar.
 

arrowqueen

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You didn't. You lay around in slothful idleness and now all your muscles have turned to mush.

I wish I could get fit without actually having to do anything healthy.
 

Jaycinth

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POOF! While you are lying around a dozen Italian tailors appear with plates of pastries and rich Italian coffee. While you are sampling and relaxing they measure you and by mid afternoon you have and incredible wardrobe that fits like a glove.

Too bad it is all in magenta leather.....

I wish people would learn to give me their time cards on time and filled out correctly the first time.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. They're not only on time and filled out correctly, but they've included all the time cards for the rest of this year. They've found a time machine and know everything that's going to happen until December 28th 2006. And now they keep looking at you funny and offering you paperclips.

I wish I didn't work with so many morons.
 

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Granted, but now everyone you work with is smarter than you.

I wish I could be invisible at certain times.
 

alleycat

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What? Who said that?

I wish someone would run all my errands tomorrow.
 

A. Hamilton

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I will. Just hand over the credit card first.

I wish I could take a wine-tasting trip soon.
 

MidnightMuse

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Granted. Only the bus driver couldn't hear well, and thought you meant Whine tasting - and dropped you off at a spoiled brat convention. He'll pick you up in ten hours.

I wish I had a chocolate bar.