Your wish is granted...

janetbellinger

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You decide to devote your life to helping underpriviledged ants and ruin your eyesight staring into anthills. You also develop allergies from all that sand in your nostrils.

I wish I could get paid for my writing.
 

poetinahat

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Granted... you are Farinello.
(sorry...)

I wish I'd gotten more sleep last night.
 

Alan Yee

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Granted... you will stay wide awake for the rest of your life and will never ever have the need to sleep ever again.

I wish guys were banned from wearing tight jeans.
 

poetinahat

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Granted. All men now have to dress in school uniforms, just like Angus Young.

I wish I could play guitar like Angus Young.
 

Alan Yee

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Granted. Except Angus Young will now track you down and threaten you to renounce your newly acquired guitar playing skills. A good karate kick at his a$$ should make him squeal in pain and leave you alone.

I wish I could write a book that will sell more copies than The Da Vinci Code since it would be so much better anyway.
 

janetbellinger

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Granted, but it's suddenly revealed that the Da Vinci Code wasn't such a hot seller after all. Turns out it only sold 50 copies.

I wish that poetinahat would change his avatar back to the one with the guy in the water.
 

sacredmime

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Granted. He changes it back for one minute, then puts a new avatar of him next to a motorcycle that he pretends is his. (jk, poet :)

I wish I could tell when people were not telling the truth.
 

janetbellinger

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You suddenly develop psychic abilitites and can read everybody's mind. You can tell instantly when people aren't telling the truth. Unfortunately, you become very depressed because you can also tell when people aren't telling themselves the truth.

I wish I didn't take myself so seriously.
 

arrowqueen

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You don't. Unfortunately the clown nose clashes horrendously with your hair.

I wish the ants in the kitchen would just eat the poison, feck off and die..
 

Pthom

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The ants in your kitchen devour the poison, feck off and die, just as you wished.

Unfortunately, those are only the ants in your kitchen. The ones outside are really pissed off that you killed their relatives and, taking extra vitamins, grow to immense size and squash your car.


I wish I could come up with better answers to these things.
 

sacredmime

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Granted. You get free "how to be a Genie" lessons from Robin Williams and Barbara Eden. They move into your house and clean out your fridge. Barbara gets depressed about her failed career, but her sobbing proves to be a nice counterpoint to Robin's incessant, hyper-manic voice impressions.


I wish I'll have a nice, naughty dream tonight.
 

Puddle Jumper

Granted but tonight some punk kids will be doing some naughty things to your car.

I wish I had the power to heal incurable diseases.
 

Taurus Rising

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Granted, now you have no peace because an endless stream of people come to you to be healed. The lack of sleep drives you mad and you soon begin to kill the people that have come to you for help.

I wish I could save my life at certain points like a computer game, and then go back to the last saved point if things I tried didn't go as I liked - while remembering what I tried and the results.
 

Pthom

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Okay. Done.

'Course now, the balance of your life is spent at this address: Dell C:\ (Seagate ATA 9GB, 7200RPM) and your neighbor on one side is an ancient 5 1/4" floppy disk drive, and on the other, a 24x CD drive.

I wish I could control who moves into the vacant house next door.
 

janetbellinger

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Granted. A remote control drops into your hands from the air. It's controls every movement of the people who move in next door. Too bad its a family of super intelligence remote controls who control you even in your dreams.

I wish I could write original poems.
 

Beyondian

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Done. Of course, they're so 'original' that they're in an ancient language that hasn't been spoken for thousands of years, but they are original.

I wish I had enough time to write all my novels.
 

sacredmime

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Granted. You're amazed at how much free time you have in prison.

I wish I understood what was really happening in the TV show "Lost."
 

AdamH

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Granted. You now live in the Sahara. Hope you brought your sunblock.

I wish my novel to be finished in less than a month.
 

arrowqueen

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Granted. The brakes failed and your car is now in your front room.

I wish Dawno would run over a few more things.
 

janetbellinger

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Granted. Your new bicycle is now a tortured mass of twisted metal lying on your driveway. You'll never leave it out there again.

I wish I'd get offered a really sweet deal by a publilsher.