Your wish is granted...

sacredmime

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And now there are. But all the voice-overs are done by a drunk Paula Abdul.

I wish that evil genies were nicer.
 

janetbellinger

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Granted. They all took a niceness pill and are now calling you up on the phone every few minutes just to chat and flooding your email in box with dozens of little forwards such as jokes, prayers and baby and animal pictures.

I wish that the genies really could grant our wishes.
 
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Jaycinth

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They can, but they are evil so they don't.

I wish there really were a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and that Leprachauns really would hand it over to the person who found it.
 

dahmnait

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When you figure it out, will you let me know?
Jaycinth claps her hands together, delighted that the end of the rainbow is not a myth. Now to find the gold. She looks around, noting that there is nothing out of place in the rocky field. Where is that d@mn pot of gold? It should be here somewhere.

She lets out a startled squeak as a strange little man appears before her. As she kneels down to talk to him, she notes his traditional green attire stands out against the rocks. He just stares at her for a moment. The gold flecks in his eyes swirling hypnotically.

"Ahh, lass, we have been waiting for you," he finally says, in a voice solemn and grave. "I suppose you want this here pot o' gold."

"Yes sir, I do, I do!"

"If you are sure then lass, you need but take it, but I must warn you..." the leprechaun starts as he holds out the pot.

Entranced by the sight of so much gold, Jaycinth doesn't see the look of pure greed passing over the leprechaun's face. Before he finishes speaking, she grabs the pot and runs, not wanting to chance that he will change his mind.

The leprechaun waits until Jaycinth is out of sight before setting out after her. He strolls along for about a kilometer before stumbling across a familiar looking pot.

"Well now, here's me gold. Hmm, this one got farther than most."

He bends down and picks up the lone piece of gold on the ground. Biting down on the piece, he mumbles, "She was a good one, she was."

(I know, it's bad, but how else will I get better?:))

--------------------------------------------------------




I wish I could focus and get some actual (paying) work done.
 
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janetbellinger

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Poof. But now the genie has disappeared and none of them can be granted.

I wish I would write a breathtakingly wise and compelling novel that no publisher would dare to reject or ignore.
 

Alien Enigma

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Upon acceptance of your manuscript, the publisher no longer gets back to you. The title is accredited to another author in Key West, Florida. You receive no profits from the sales of the masterpiece.




I wish that I had a fast boat.
 

janetbellinger

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You open up the celephane package in your cereal box and pouf, your wish is granged. It's a mini lime green plastic boat that zooms across the bathtub water.

I wish that I was better at coming up with bad genie wish granting.
 

arrowqueen

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Granted. You are now brilliant. Unfortunately everyone is jealous and now hates your guts.

I wish I had perfect teeth and didn't have to keep rushing off to the dentist.
 

Jaycinth

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Granted! Prince has rented 100 water trucks and filled them with purple -colored sparkling water. He has rigged them to sprinkle on your house and yard and he's performing his 'Purple Rain' revival tour on your front yard ( Yes..on) and he's wearing his classic 'end' less trousers.... ( Lets go crazy...)

I wish the pigeons and various birds would stopo using loud profanity while deciding who gets to 'oop on which part of the old statue today.
 
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sacredmime

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Granted. Now the birds only sing Christmas Carols in the voice of Gilbert Gottfried. Loudly.

I wish I had the power to convince anyone about anything.
 

janetbellinger

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Granted. The ability to reason suddenly leaves everybody in the earth. You could tell them anything and they'd believe you.

I wish that I'd get some revisions done to my current novel before I have to go into work in a couple of hours.
 

Paint

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Hokay. When you get home from work you won't like any of the revisions you made. You will burn the midnight oil putting the WIP back to its original writing.


I wish all the rocks I collected for my rock garden were diamonds.
 

Jaycinth

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They are, they are! And so are the rocks in your neighbor's yard, and the other neighbor's yard, and the gravel in your aquarium, and the gravel in your driveway, and that big rock in the park, and all the little rocks in the park. And every bag of gravel in the home center stores, and every rock in the quarry too. Oh Yes, all of that imported Italian marbel in the new museum...diamond..... that granite counter top...diamond... the star sapphire you hubby bought you for your anniversary..diamond... . now the sun rises and you remember you forgot sunglasses.

I wish my cat would stop making those ridiculous 'Dogbert' faces at me while I do crunches.
 

janetbellinger

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Granted. It swishes its tail in front of your face instead, and you get treated to a whiff of flatulent kitty dinner.

I wish I would get my act together and start doing crunches again.
 

Yeshanu

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Granted. You put an energetic CD on the stereo, and dressed in your old workout clothes. But as soon as you did the first one, you heard this loud ripping sound as the seam gave way on your overly tight exercise pants.

Then you stood up to find the neighbourhood kids had gathered in your backyard, and were looking in the window, and pointing at your rip and laughing...

I wish I really was an elf.
 

Jaycinth

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( Why oh why did you ask for this....?)

Granted! and you are a happy elf, a friend to humans. you spread kindness and good where ever you go. But your human friends age and get feeble and finally you have to help their children..some of whom you helped deliver...bury them. Then they get old, and their kids get old...and their kids get old...and all of your elf friends tell you not to worry about short-lived mortals...but since you once were one...you can't help but care..so your heart keeps breaking over and over again...but you never waiver in your kindness to humans...

I wish she hadn't wished that on herself.
 

poetinahat

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Granted. And, Jaycinth, you are a happy elf, a friend to humans. ...

I wish I could think of the perfect retorts when they're useful, not five minutes later.
 

Pthom

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Your wish is granted. You now can come up with the most biting, humourous, acerbic retorts to any comment. However, when you speak them, they come out in reverse, and in an esoteric dialect of sanskrit.

I wish for perfect health, great wealth, and the love of the most beautiful woman on Earth.
 

poetinahat

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Granted. You're JFK.

I wish the limerick thread would stay at the top of the first page of active threads (!).
 

janetbellinger

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Granted, but everybody starts writing the kind of limericks we whispered and then giggled about when we were kids.

I wish I could give up caffeine.