Your wish is granted...

Jaycinth

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Granted!

I'm having a lot of fun marinating meats and veggies, starting two grills ( one for meat one for veggies) chopping up salad, making baked beans and red skin potatoe salad. I even have some shrimp and scallops marinating for kabobs and I have two kegs of Corona, a keg of mountain Dew and two pitchers full of ice cold minted green tea. The tables are set up...but where is everyone from AW.
Now I'm still having fun setting up this feast, but the genie forgot to invite my friends...so I'm sad.

I wish the Information on the Dalmatian Nation had not been Rationed by the long haired Alsatians, who then buried the Documentation among the Impatiens!
 

janetbellinger

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Granted. The Dalmatiens traded spots with the Impatiens and the Alsations cut their hair and preserved in in the Documentation.

I wish that my garden was already weeded and that I'd planted more tulips last fall.
 

Ganesha

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granted but instead of two-lips you planted threelips and they will not come up until leap year.

I wish I had planted three-lips before leap year.
 

Jaycinth

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You did. But his boys "Two Fingers' McEvoy, 'One Eye' Sorrento, and 'Four Legs' Nasarian saw you ditch his car last fall.

I wish I were dancing on the beach in Corfu with a hot hetero man...or two.
 

arrowqueen

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Granted - but they're hot because they're ninety and all that dancing is giving them heatstroke.

I wish the lawn didn't need to be mowed. Again.
 

janetbellinger

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It doesn't. A swarm of locusts removed all the blades of grass, now you have a ready made garden site.

I really wish a legitimate publisher would decide to publish my work.
 

poetinahat

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Granted. But they accidentally received two different copies of your MS, and one of them had your name misspelled. Consequently, they accuse you of plagiarising your own work. Both MS's are pulled from the shelves. (However, you have been accepted to Harvard.)

I wish we kept discovering letters the way scientists keep discovering elements.
 

trumancoyote

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Granted.

But the most recent discovery is the letter 'poop,' and no one can think of an appropriate symbol for it withing succumbing to fits of giggles.

I wish I had another quarter so I could play more pinball.
 

dahmnait

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When you figure it out, will you let me know?
If you just step over here, yeah, right in front of that plunger looking thing. Perfect. I'm sorry, what was that? Oh, the thing at your back, don't worry about it. It's really not moving much. Now, take a deep breath and close your eyes. Oh, and here's your quarter.

(D@mn, missed giving you the quarter. Oh well, I'll catch you when you're up again.)



I wish I could make sense of European law in order to get through reading this directive with my brain intact.
 

Ganesha

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granted, your brain will be intact but transplanted to your pet kitty.


I wish I could stay cool in the summer heat.
 

Angela

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POOF!

Your wish is granted, but now you have no clothes.

I wish I had more hours in the day to get everything done for once!!
 

Jaycinth

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POOF!!! Jupiter just ignited providing this Solar System with another sun. So our days are now three months long punctuated by 6 hours of darkness, then another three months of day.

I wish both of you would move a little to the right...no too much go left..now back up, right under that tree...no not there.to the left..no the OTHER left..I wish you would get this right!
 

sacredmime

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You're enjoying a spectacular moment of peace on the sun-anointed sands. The lapping of waves tickles yours toes, and the solace soothes your mind. You float towards a deep state of relaxation, drifting in dreams, each more pleasant than the last. And that's when the machete-wielding shark zombies attack.

I wish the cute guy I met last night would ask me on a date.
 

Jaycinth

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Granted. But you discover that he will enter neither a restaurant or a theatre without putting his George W. mask on first.


I wish I'd stop seeing dancing frogs.
 

dahmnait

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When you figure it out, will you let me know?
Granted. Unfortunately, after your novel was edited, you got in your car to run errands. Since you didn't get your nap, you fell asleep at the wheel and plowed into a group of children and nuns. Now you have plenty of time to finish that novel. Too bad they won't give you anything sharper than a crayon on suicide watch.

I wish my phone would stop ringing.
 

Jaycinth

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Granted. But now it talks to you in a Brittish accent and throws in odd French obcenities at random times. It also prescreens your calls, only putting through solicitors and gives your mom and friends a hard time.

I wish I knew why my cat won't wear sneakers and and sunglasses while chasing squirrels.
 

sacredmime

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Your cat is a nudist. Now you know.
And please tell your cat to stop chasing me. Thank you.

I wish people wouldn't drive like maniacs on the highway.
 

Ganesha

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granted now you live under the poverty planet

If I reincarnate I want to come back as an old boot
 

Jaycinth

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Granted! You are a World War II era German Submarine. A bit rusty, but the coral and the parrot fish don't care.

I wish there were more mainstream roles for badgers, goats, cornsnakes, yaks, spotted toads and wombats in both Disney and Warner Brother Cartoons.
 
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