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alleycat
06-21-2008, 06:16 AM
Granted. You live in a giant gym sock. Hey, it's nice and warm . . . if a bit smelly.

I wish someone would clean my kitchen for me.

Sempine
06-21-2008, 07:27 AM
The Mean Witch of the Wild, Wild West stripped your kitchen clean away. Funny, he looks a lot like the genie on the Ajax commercial.

I wish my aunt would give me that cute little table that belonged to my grandmother.

slcboston
06-21-2008, 07:43 AM
Granted.

Your aunt gives it to you by dropping it on you out of a tenth story window.

I wish i lived somewhere farther west.

lostgirl
06-21-2008, 07:45 AM
Granted.

You move to the west coast just in time to have it tumble into the ocean and everyone has already moved out east.

I wish it was next summer.

slcboston
06-21-2008, 07:50 AM
granted

but the world ended in may

i wish things were less complicated

lostgirl
06-21-2008, 07:51 AM
Granted.

But then whatever you wanted less complicated wasn't worth it in the end.

I wish I had new summer dresses.

slcboston
06-21-2008, 07:59 AM
Granted.

Through a fluke in the climate, we enter the next ice age. it's parkas for the next millenia.

I wish i had pictures of someone in a sundress. :e2brows:

lostgirl
06-21-2008, 08:03 AM
Granted.

You receive pictures in the mail of Ron Jeremy in a short spaghetti strap low cut form fitting hot pink sundress. He's making kissy faces at you.

I wish I had a money tree in my backyard.

slcboston
06-21-2008, 08:05 AM
Granted.

You completely destroy the world economy when everyone realizes money does, in fact, grow on trees. But hey, it;s a nice shade tree.

I wish it was earlier.

lostgirl
06-21-2008, 08:08 AM
Granted.

It's earlier but circumstances make it so you can't be online.

I wish it was Monday.

slcboston
06-21-2008, 08:10 AM
Granted.

And now you have an office job with weekly meetings on Mondays. Welcome to hell. :D

I wish I could have two completely contradictory things at once...

lostgirl
06-21-2008, 08:17 AM
Granted.

You get them both at once and don't get to enjoy either of them.

I wish I was getting a back rub.

slcboston
06-21-2008, 08:26 AM
Granted.

From edward scissorhands.

I wish i wasn't so tired.

lostgirl
06-21-2008, 08:29 AM
Granted.

You don't sleep for 2 days and then crash 24/7 for the rest of the week.

I wish I had a more comfy seat.

Komnena
06-21-2008, 04:39 PM
Granted. It is so comfy you fall asleep and don't make it to work the next morning. Boy, are you in big trouble!!
I wish I was smart.

lostgirl
06-21-2008, 07:56 PM
Granted.

You're a genius but your head is so full of useless trivia you've forgotten your name and where you live.

I wish airfare wasn't so expensive.

CheriVixen
06-22-2008, 12:35 AM
Granted, Airfare is free anywhere in the conitguous United States but the mandatory bag of nuts will cost you an arm and a leg.

I wish I cloud shot webs like Spiderman.

HeronW
06-22-2008, 01:04 AM
Poof! Your wish is granted and you're covered in sticky webbing after a misfire that should have been a simple nose scratch.

I wish jellyfish had very short legs/tendrils so they wouldn't sting so furkin' bad!

shakeysix
06-22-2008, 02:06 AM
ah--but in granting your wish i had to transform them into landlubbers about the size of a short legged peke. they now prowl the streets of the middle east in vicious stinging packs--s6

i wish that i had ruby slippers to click my heels back to kansas--s6

Komnena
06-22-2008, 02:19 AM
Granted. Unfortunately you forget to specify a time and you find yourself in Kansas just before the vote for statehood.
I wish I could vacation on Mars.

shakeysix
06-22-2008, 04:00 AM
there you are k-peeps, right smack dab on the face of the red planet. unfortunately it was a crash landing. how willl you survive? easy--you are the proprietor of the first sno- cone stand on mars! located right at the pole. be sure to wear your spacesuit and look out for the first mars expedition. they should be along any decade now--s6

wish i had squished the sun screen around a little more comprehensively yesterday on the beach--s6

Komnena
06-22-2008, 05:52 AM
Granted. Unfortunately it refuses to wash off and makes you look abnormally pale for the rest of the summer.
I wish I had Neil Diamond's royalties.

primewriter
06-22-2008, 12:19 PM
Granted. But along with the royalties came Neil Diamond's voice. Now every time you attempt to speak, you sing "Song Song Blue" while being trailed by the latest American Idol contestants...

I wish I could eat all the chocoalte I want without gaining weight...

shakeysix
06-22-2008, 03:46 PM
ah--easy, so easy--here is a 20 slab of ex-lax.


i wish that i could see steely dan in concert today but my kid didn't know who they were and didn't buy tickets

Komnena
06-23-2008, 05:15 AM
Granted. You and Steely Dan share a jail cell together and they perform just for you.
I wish I had my own swimming pool.

Komnena
06-23-2008, 05:16 AM
Granted. You and Steely Dan share a jail cell together and they perform just for you.
I wish I had my own swimming pool.

DL Hegel
06-25-2008, 03:25 AM
Granted. You and Steely Dan share a jail cell together and they perform just for you.
I wish I had my own swimming pool.
Granted but you have to share it with your mother-in-law who just moved in with her 6 dogs, 10 cats, and a parrot named Perky.

I wish i had a million dollars.

CheriVixen
06-27-2008, 05:44 AM
Cha-ching, Your wish is granted but 999,999 of your best friends show up asking for a loan.

I wish I were toasting marshmallows over a campfire.

slcboston
06-27-2008, 05:47 AM
Granted

The marshmallows are on you. It's a cannibal cookout.

I wish people would stay out later.

Nymtoc
06-29-2008, 01:44 AM
Granted.

People are staying out later and later. They are staying out so late that it becomes early again, and all day long the street in front of your house is filled with people milling around aimlessly, looking for something to do, clogging the streets to such an extent that neither cars nor pedestrians can move, and you are trapped inside your house, unable to go anywhere for the next six months.

:D

I wish I could find the Maltese Falcon--the real one, I mean.

Lillyth
06-29-2008, 03:45 AM
I wish I could find the Maltese Falcon--the real one, I mean.

Granted.

You now have the Falcon, which remains in your possession for all of 15.2 seconds before Brigid O'Shaughnessy (who is a REAL person by the way) breaks down your door & guns you down in cold blood.

I wish I could share an on-screen kiss with Christian Bale. (The only way I could get away with it as a married woman)...;)

lostgirl
06-29-2008, 06:15 AM
Granted.

And you're devastated to find out that Christian Bale has foul breath as he's slobbering all over your face.

I wish I lived on the East Coast.

Lillyth
06-29-2008, 12:31 PM
I wish I lived on the East Coast.
Granted.

But you are the only person there as a terrible and contagious virus has wiped out the entire population of the East Coast, and only YOU are immune to it.

I wish I won an Oscar.

alleycat
06-29-2008, 12:54 PM
Granted. As the 4283rd poster, you've won a free Oscar Mayer hot dog. Mustard?

I wish I knew where the road less traveled went to.

lostgirl
06-30-2008, 05:29 AM
Granted.

You end up at the gingerbread house and are mistaken for Hansel. I heard you tasted really good.

I wish I could go out dancing.

Mason
06-30-2008, 06:04 AM
Granted.

You got out dancing, and even though you keep trying to tell your body otherwise, you feel compelled to dance the Macarena to every song.

I wish I had air conditioning.

lostgirl
06-30-2008, 06:06 AM
Granted.

But after only one day the pipes freeze and the motor overheats and the next available appointment for a repairman is in January.

I wish I had margarita.

Lillyth
06-30-2008, 06:10 AM
Granted.

But it is a VIRGIN margarita...

I wish I would stop feeling sick to my stomach.

lostgirl
06-30-2008, 06:11 AM
Granted.

You wake up and you're just a head in a mad scientist's beaker.

I wish I had some candy to suck on.

Lillyth
06-30-2008, 06:14 AM
Granted.

It just so happens it is the candy you hate the most in the world. Yum.

I wish someone else would cook dinner tonight.

lostgirl
06-30-2008, 06:16 AM
Granted.

But the cook got overzealous and burnt everything. You bravely eat it with a smile.

I wish I had someone to play Scrabble with.

Lillyth
06-30-2008, 06:43 AM
Granted.

But the cook got overzealous and burnt everything. You bravely eat it with a smile.

I wish I had someone to play Scrabble with.
Granted.

You get to play with the current editor of Webster's Dictionary, who promptly trounces you.

I wish I had a pony.

lostgirl
06-30-2008, 06:46 AM
Granted.

But it's a zombie day of the dead pony and instead of giving you rides it just wants to dine on your flesh.

I wish it would rain.

Lillyth
06-30-2008, 06:49 AM
By the by, I did just now burn my food, so I WILL be eating bravely with a smile, which, in turn , will do wonders for my upset stomach...

As for your wish milady:

Granted.

For forty days and forty nights. You DID build that Ark I told you build, didn't you?

lostgirl
06-30-2008, 06:52 AM
ROFL!!! I had no idea I was so prophetic. :D

Hey where's your wish?

Lillyth
06-30-2008, 06:55 AM
Oh, damn. I forgot my wish.

I wish my food weren't burnt...

lostgirl
06-30-2008, 06:56 AM
Granted.

You go to take a bite out of your perfectly prepared dish and it's wax.

I wish I was in Maui.

Lillyth
06-30-2008, 06:59 AM
Burnt was definitely better...

Okay, so you're in Maui, which has just closed for the season. (Yes, I know they don't close, but they do now, just for you) ;-)

I wish I had a Butterball Turkey.

(Okay, I don't really as it would most likely make me sick with all the hormones they use, but for some reason it was the first thing that popped into my head)...

lostgirl
06-30-2008, 07:02 AM
Granted.

And all the hormones make you glow in the dark.

I wish I wasn't blond.

Lillyth
06-30-2008, 07:03 AM
Granted.

All your hair falls out. You now slightly resemble Sinead O'Connor.

I wish I knew the Pope.

lostgirl
06-30-2008, 07:04 AM
Granted.

You're name is Madonna.

I wish I could go on vacation.

Lillyth
06-30-2008, 07:05 AM
Granted.

You visit Mt. St. Helens - just as it is errupting...

I wish I could spell...

lostgirl
06-30-2008, 07:07 AM
Granted.

You turn into a Mr. Spell

I wish I had new earrings.

Lillyth
06-30-2008, 07:09 AM
Granted.

You are just placing your new diamond earrings into your ears with joy as the police bust down your door for left of the crown jewels...

I wish I were in Paris.

lostgirl
06-30-2008, 07:12 AM
Granted.

Paris, Texas is a nice place to visit.

I wish I had some chinese food.

Lillyth
06-30-2008, 07:45 AM
Granted.

You now have Chinese food.

All over your lap.

I wish I could sleep in tomorrow.

lostgirl
06-30-2008, 07:51 AM
Granted.

You turn into Rip Van Winkle. The world looks a lot different 100 years from now, but you have a nice beard :wag:

I wish I had some coffee.

Lillyth
06-30-2008, 08:02 AM
Granted.

It's the kind that gets eaten & pooped out by monkeys.

I wish I owned Fort Knox.

Komnena
07-02-2008, 08:06 PM
Granted. You own Fort Knox but the government moved everything out, including the gold, before you take possession. Your tax bill on the fort is now due.
I wish I owned a horse bred by the Rohirrim.

Parkinsonsd
07-03-2008, 06:31 AM
Your wish is granted. The Rohrrim baked you a special loaf of horse bread, with extra horsemeat in it. (Not my fault if you can't spell).

I wish I owned a pet dragon.

Lillyth
07-03-2008, 09:39 AM
Granted.

You did own a pet dragon - in a past life.

I wish my headache would go away.

Nymtoc
07-03-2008, 12:22 PM
Granted.

Your headache is gone. You were so glad to be free of it that you jumped for joy and broke your leg.

:D

I wish I could be the first human being to land on Mars.

Parkinsonsd
07-03-2008, 03:29 PM
Granted. You were the first person to land on Mars. You were so excited though, you forgot to put on your helmet.

I wish I had a 500lb cheeseburger.

alleycat
07-03-2008, 03:38 PM
Granted. Burger King has agreed to "make it your way'. But you have to order the combo, which includes 400 lbs. of fries and a 12,000 oz. soft drink. Ketchup?

I wish I could get everything on my "to do' list done this week.

Beyondian
07-03-2008, 04:31 PM
Done. But only if you take everything on your 'to don't' list as well.

I wish my characters would stop talking to me in public. It's getting embarrassing. Or - I wish people would stop staring, anyway.

Nymtoc
07-03-2008, 05:20 PM
Granted.

Your characters no longer talk to you in public. Instead, you talk to them.

Unfortunately, people stare even more.

:poke:

I wish that none of my electronic equipment ever malfunctioned.

Woof
07-03-2008, 05:43 PM
Granted. None of your electronic equipment ever malfunctions, including your nuclear powered paper shredder. One day after feeding piles of discarded manuscripts into the shredder, you inadvertently toss in an acceptance letter from a publisher wanting to publish your brilliant novel, along with an advance check for $500,000.00. You reach in to retrieve it, but of course your shredder is functioning perfectly and within seconds relieves you of your writing arm.


I wish that boredom could be transformed into a biofuel.

Komnena
07-04-2008, 03:54 AM
Granted. Your boredom turns into a superb biofuel. As a result you find yourself tied down and forced to watch endless videos of horses.
I wish I was a shield maiden of the Rohirrim.

Beyondian
07-04-2008, 04:04 AM
Granted. Unfortunately you were killed in battle.

I wish I had the time to do some of my own writing.

slcboston
07-05-2008, 08:19 PM
Granted.

You suffer a psychotic break and are locked in a padded cell. Your request for a crayon is granted, and you proceed to write all over the walls. All request to be released, however, are flatly ignored.

I wish I was in California.

Nymtoc
07-05-2008, 08:33 PM
Granted.

You are in Death Valley. The temperature there today is 122 degrees F.

:D

I wish I could ride an elephant.

slcboston
07-05-2008, 08:56 PM
Granted.

Midway through an otherwise peaceful ride, the elephant is spooked and goes on a rampage, with you still attached. Battered, bruised, but thankfully only somewhat broken, you think your ordeal is over when you are finally rescued. Then you are told you have to clean up after the elephant.

I wish I had more to share.

alleycat
07-05-2008, 08:58 PM
Granted. Time is a valuable commodity and it's commendable that you're willing to share. My car needs washing and I'd appreciate you sharing your time to do it. You can thank me later.

I wish I had done more this morning than write three paragraphs and post on the Internet.

slcboston
07-05-2008, 09:17 PM
Granted.

... Actually, I'm of the same sentiment. Seems crueller to just let it stand as is. :D

I wish I had a hammock.

lostgirl
07-05-2008, 11:49 PM
Granted.

You climb in and set it to softly sway when a cyclone kicks up and spins you around leaving you tied up with your arms at your side, trapped, with an itch on your nose.

I wish time would freeze when I'm on the phone.

slcboston
07-05-2008, 11:54 PM
Granted.

Unfortunately it's a telemarketer. And time never starts again.

I wish I could go swimming.

lostgirl
07-06-2008, 12:19 AM
Granted.

But a freak snow storm blows over and freezes you in the water from the neck down and it takes months for you to thaw out.

I wish I was at a waterfall.

slcboston
07-06-2008, 12:20 AM
Granted.

But really, you should have asked for a barrel before you went over Niagara Falls. it is traditional.

I wish i had some ice...

lostgirl
07-06-2008, 12:25 AM
Granted.

A 50 lb block of ice falls on you from an ice truck.. you're still recovering..

I wish I had phone sex operator's voice.

slcboston
07-06-2008, 12:31 AM
Granted.

Most of them are also somewhat homely and overweight. Unfortunately for you, it's a package deal.

I wish i had a teleporter.

lostgirl
07-06-2008, 12:33 AM
Granted.

You end up like Jeff Goldblume from "The Fly" and have to pursue a career as a phone sex operator to get chicks... :D

I wish I had more willpower.

Williebee
07-06-2008, 12:34 AM
ZAP! You've got a teleporter.

Which I just stole so I don't have to wait on this next freakin' plane.

I'd send it back, but hey, I'm like that.

I wish I had a way to shut up this crying kid next to me.

lostgirl
07-06-2008, 12:36 AM
ZAP! You've got a teleporter.

Which I just stole so I don't have to wait on this next freakin' plane.

I'd send it back, but hey, I'm like that.

I wish I had a way to shut up this crying kid next to me.

Nyah nyah.. I beat you.. :wag: LOL

slcboston
07-06-2008, 12:42 AM
I wish I had more willpower.




I wish I had a way to shut up this crying kid next to me.

Granted. LG takes your place on the plane. You don't get where you're going. She gets to deal with the kid to improve her willpower.

I wish we had videophones.

lostgirl
07-06-2008, 12:45 AM
Granted.

But there's a short in the phone and only the video works not the audio.

I wish the plane was going to the east coast.

slcboston
07-06-2008, 12:50 AM
Granted.

but who wants to stay in Jersey. 'Cause that's where you're stranded. And I do mean *stranded*. Your purse didn't get on the plane with you.

I wish i had a plane.

lostgirl
07-06-2008, 12:53 AM
Granted.

But I hijack your plane to get the freaking heck out of Jersey.. cuz really no one wants to be stuck there.

I wish I had some chocolate syrup.

slcboston
07-06-2008, 12:57 AM
Granted.

But it's the cheap kind that no one really likes. (Sometimes it's the little things that are cruelest. :D)

I'd like some ice cream as long as we're talking syrup.

lostgirl
07-06-2008, 12:59 AM
Granted.

You got a container of your favorite flavor but when you open it up it's frostbitten and gross.

I wish someone else would cook dinner.

slcboston
07-06-2008, 01:15 AM
Granted.

They're cannibals. You're the main course. :D

I wish i had dessert ready.

Just.Jase
07-06-2008, 05:50 AM
Granted. But it's going straight to your thighs.

I wish I had a great singing voice.

CheriVixen
07-06-2008, 06:15 AM
Granted. You had a great singing voice in the 80's but all the hard living has totally trashed it.

I wish I could dance all night.

slcboston
07-06-2008, 07:00 PM
Granted.

You ever seen the Porky Pig cartoon with the leprechauns and the magic shoes? Essentially the shoes don't *ever* let him stop dancing. Of course, for Porky it ends well enough as he's able to leave the enchanted castle and leave the shoes behind....

Which is not how it ends in the original Irish myth.

Nor, unfortunately, how it ends for you. :D

I wish I was picking blackberries.

alleycat
07-06-2008, 07:02 PM
Granted. The chiggers will enjoy the snack . . . you.

I wish there was a way to hold elections quicker.

slcboston
07-06-2008, 07:12 PM
Granted.

But the elections are rigged, and the United States is annexed by Canada...

I wish there was a way to clean the bathroom that didn't give me a chemically induced headache.

lostgirl
07-06-2008, 07:45 PM
Granted.

The flash fire disinfected and cleaned the whole bathroom without burning down the rest of your house.. now you just get to deal with the charred remains.. :D

I wish I had a big four posted bed.

slcboston
07-06-2008, 07:58 PM
Granted.

It's not very comfortable, though, and you can't ever get to sleep in it.

I wish I had some idea what to do for dinner.

lostgirl
07-06-2008, 08:27 PM
Granted.

You finally decide on something delicious and you think you have all the ingredients and just before your finished making it you find that you are completely out of the key ingredient. The meal ends up being horrible.

I wish I someone would make me breakfast -- and not cannibals... :wag:

slcboston
07-06-2008, 08:30 PM
Granted.

You are now a breakfast cereal. One scoop or two? :D

I wish I had some cookies.

lostgirl
07-06-2008, 08:34 PM
mmmmm raisins...

Granted.

But they're hard and stale with mold growing on them. They're last years Christmas cookies you forgot to freeze.

I wish I had a garden.

slcboston
07-06-2008, 08:42 PM
Granted.

You suddenly discover allergies you didn't know you had before.

I wish I had more fruit in the house.

Mharvey
07-06-2008, 08:43 PM
Granted. Your house is the next stop for the Queer Eye For the Straight Guy gang.

I really wish I didn't have to get out of my pajamas today.

slcboston
07-06-2008, 08:47 PM
granted.

you're confined to your bed. Not just for today, but forever. Pretty soon you're one of those 900 lbs people they have to get a crane to lift out of their houses.

I wish i had a video camera.

lostgirl
07-06-2008, 08:50 PM
Granted.

But as long as you have it your in a small room with no windows and no furnishings.. there's absolutely nothing of interest to film.

I wish I could get another tattoo. *flinches at my granted.. :D*

slcboston
07-06-2008, 08:55 PM
Granted.

Elmer Fudd is now permanently staring out from your forehead.

I wish I didn't have to move.

Mharvey
07-06-2008, 08:56 PM
Granted. You don't. A cat thinks your a tree and pees on your foot.

I wish the Lost Boys sequel would come out.

lostgirl
07-06-2008, 08:56 PM
Ouch.. no one grants wishes like you do, silly looking camel.

Granted.

You are stuck where you live with all the people you live with and the commute to work FOREVER!!!

I wish someone would bring me another glass of water.

slcboston
07-06-2008, 09:00 PM
Granted.

But Corey Haim's only job is as water-boy to the Ninja, so the "Lost Boys" sequel sucks without the frog brothers.

I wish Hollywood could make decent sequels.

lostgirl
07-06-2008, 09:06 PM
Corey Feldman wouldn't do the picture anyways.

Granted.

But then they stop making their first movies any good.

I wish I didn't have to go to Costco.

slcboston
07-06-2008, 09:09 PM
Granted.

They build a Costco next door, complete with tunnel to your place. Which everyone assumes is where the snack section is.

I wish I didn't have to drive tomorrow.

Mharvey
07-06-2008, 09:14 PM
Granted. Your car is struck by a meteor just after it is flooded in a crack that opened due to the Earthquake that opened beneath its tires. The rest of it is then scrapped by the people who live underground. If that doesn't make a good excuse for not driving, nothing will.

I wish I could type /diet pepsi to get another drink.

lostgirl
07-06-2008, 09:14 PM
Granted.

You have to walk instead. Hope you aren't late for work. :D

I wish I had new art charcoal.

slcboston
07-06-2008, 09:18 PM
Granted... uh....

... hmmm

The robot to bring you the pepsi short circuits and burns your place down. Thus providing LG with her charcoal and a whole lot of guilt.

I wish the two of you would co-ordinate your wishes better. Some of us are easily confused.

lostgirl
07-06-2008, 09:23 PM
Granted.

Mharvey and I coordinate so well you don't have a chance to play this game anymore.

I wish that I could get a break while playing scrabble.

slcboston
07-06-2008, 09:32 PM
Granted.

But the 120 point bingo bonus word is the only word over three letters you can come up with for the rest of the game. Now when you lose, it's even *more* humiliating.

I wish I could snap my fingers and get people to sleep.

lostgirl
07-07-2008, 01:04 AM
Granted.

But it also puts you to sleep too.

I wish I had a rib dinner and a glass of wine.

slcboston
07-07-2008, 01:15 AM
Granted.

The ribs are superb but the wine is spiked. You have no memory of the rest of the night, though you do awake feeling strangely good. Also, you do the chicken dance whenever someone whistles.

I wish i knew how to give post-hypnotic suggestions. :D

lostgirl
07-07-2008, 01:21 AM
Granted.

But all you you can hypnotize are cats.

I wish I knew how to ski.

slcboston
07-07-2008, 01:27 AM
Granted.

You ski. Into a tree.

I wish I wouldn't have to argue with someone if I opted to get take-out

lostgirl
07-07-2008, 01:30 AM
Granted.

Now all you have is take-out and never *get* to cook again.

I wish I had a cold beer.

txgrl
07-07-2008, 02:14 AM
You have a few cold beers, but then you make a fool of yourself by walking into a tree. At least it wasn't off a cliff. . .

I wish I had a car.

alleycat
07-07-2008, 02:17 AM
Granted. I know where you can get a 1988 Yugo for $5.95. Might need a little work, but you can can't beat the price and it's gets great gas millage (when it's running).

I wish I owned a mountaintop with my very own pristine lake.

shakeysix
07-07-2008, 05:14 PM
well, here it is --and a herd of mountain goats is pissing in the lake even as we speak--oh--did you mean pristine? not pissed in? so sorry---s6

wish i had never planted squash

Nymtoc
07-07-2008, 07:57 PM
Granted

You never planted squash. Last week, Biofuels Inc. came around and paid all your neighbors--the ones who did plant squash--$1 million each for their property, since squash is a new, important source of ethanol. (It was a one-time deal, they told you. Next year will be too late.)

:(

I wish I could counterfeit money and get away with it.

Salem
07-07-2008, 08:06 PM
Granted, but the only form of money you can successfully reproduce is the penny.

I wish my car could go 10,000 miles on a single tank of gas.

txgrl
07-07-2008, 09:34 PM
You actually have to drive that far each time before you can turn off the engine.

I wish I was out of school.

CheriVixen
07-09-2008, 09:42 PM
Granted, but you missed the last day when they actually teach you everything you really wanted to know.

I wish someone else would take the puppy out at 4am.

alleycat
07-09-2008, 09:48 PM
Granted. I'll be glad to. You didn't say anything about bringing him back. Can you whistle really, really loud?

I wish I hadn't eaten so much pizza at lunch. I need a nap. Oh, make my wish, "I wish I could take a nap this afternoon".

Tink
07-09-2008, 09:53 PM
Wish is granted.

Alley takes this lovely little nap in his comfy little hammock but all the pizza he consumed before falling to sleep caused him to have bad dreams and he tossed about so that Alley fell from his hammock and hit the not so comfy floor very hard. Alley's nap is over.

My wish is that I would be able to go on a long vacation where there is a secluded white-sanded beach and it remains sunny and 75 the whole time I am there.

txgrl
07-10-2008, 03:11 AM
Welcome to heaven, so sorry about the way you had to die.

I wish it wasn't so hot here.

willfulone
07-10-2008, 07:19 AM
Granted, the artic moved their climate into your house.

I wish I could get out of jury duty...

CheriVixen
07-10-2008, 04:14 PM
Granted but you now have a commitment in small claims court for all those over due library books.

I wish dust bunnies hopped away on their own.

Tink
07-10-2008, 04:31 PM
Granted but beware of the evil dust bunnies that hop right onto every surface in your house and can never be persuaded to leave.

I wish that tough decisions were suddenly made easy to decide upon...

CheriVixen
07-10-2008, 06:13 PM
Granted. Here is a Magic Eight ball it only answers yes or no.

I wish had a cherry cheesecake martini with two cherries at the bottom.

shakeysix
07-10-2008, 06:30 PM
here you are, unfortunately the cherries belong to the klaxonvogler twins, ludmilla and hedwig. they are quite the beefy duo and your martini glass shatters.

i wish van morrison would sing "crazy love' to me while i take my bath. i'd even scrub the tub and put away the dog shampoo

Komnena
07-10-2008, 06:54 PM
Granted.
Three-year-old Van Morrison sings crazy love to you while you're in the tub. He also splashes water everywhere but he doesn't care about the dog shampoo you forgot to put away.
I wish I owned the Hope Diamond.

slcboston
07-10-2008, 08:57 PM
Granted.

The insurance alone breaks you. You're left homeless on the street, clutching the now grubby diamond, cackling "it's mine, it's all mine" maniacally and occasionally whispering "*MY* precious" when anyone gets too close.

I wish I had something good for lunch.

Nymtoc
07-10-2008, 11:10 PM
Granted

A waiter arrives with your lunch: selected hors d'oeuvres, fresh fruit medley, blackened Maine crabcake, baked onion soup gratinée, Caesar salad, fried shrimp, tuna focaccia, sirloin steak tips, imported cheese platter, raspberry crêpes Lyonnaise, petits fours and coffee.

He presents you with a bill for $2,537.98.

:D

I wish presidential candidates would talk about substantive matters rather than the stupid mistakes being made by one side or the other.

slcboston
07-10-2008, 11:17 PM
Granted.

It bores everyone to tears, and the average American, unable to make a reasoned decision, votes for the only person with any flash and substance. Congratulations, Jesse Ventura is the next President of the United States.

I wish I didn't have to pay for parking.

willfulone
07-11-2008, 12:13 AM
Granted, your car is stolen and you have no money to replace it. Here's a bike though ;)

I wish the dishes would wash and put away themselves.

t0neg0d
07-11-2008, 01:06 AM
Granted, only men go to nightclubs.

I wish my wishes were not deviously turned against me.

Lillyth
07-11-2008, 08:50 AM
I so don't get that last one. What do nightclubs have to do with dishes?

Granted.

They are now demonically, and willfully, evilly turned against you.

I wish I had some quail eggs right now....

willfulone
07-11-2008, 11:01 AM
Granted, you have 4000 quail eggs laying about the kitchen. They are hatching in 2 minutes.

I wish the sky was pink.

Just.Jase
07-11-2008, 01:45 PM
Granted.
Now...it's falling...and falling...and falling.
I hope you like fairy floss.

I wish there was life after death.

shakeysix
07-11-2008, 04:06 PM
silly rabbit, you don't have to wish for that one. there is life after death, a whole lot of life. ever been to a funeral dinner? people tell jokes, eat too much, drink too much, cousins play footsie--why, the only time my brother gets laid is after a family funeral.


i wish i had a classier family

alleycat
07-11-2008, 04:10 PM
Granted. You're adopted by Lindsey Lohan's dad.

I wish I had a robot to clean my house and do all my errands.

shakeysix
07-11-2008, 04:18 PM
granted--you have inherited the robot from Lost In Space. he is in your refrigerator right now shrieking "danger alley cat! danger! freakin' mold all over the place. and i hope you don't think i am going to wash all these green and fuzzy containers. good, god! is that turkey and dressing from thanksgiving on the back shelf..." oh, yeah--he does a good job, but like my own departed mother, he never shuts the eff up/

i wish i had jet propelled roller skates to save on gas--s6

Alice.S
07-11-2008, 04:19 PM
Granted: Unfortunately their gas powered

I wish my bf was here, instead of being overseas, with cute italian girls around him :(

t0neg0d
07-11-2008, 04:22 PM
Granted, you bf is there, not over seas, with cute italian girls all around him. O.o Why did you want the girls around him? And any chance of me video taping this?

I wish for another wish to grant

alleycat
07-11-2008, 04:23 PM
Granted. Surprise! He's home. And he's brought six cute Italian girls with him.

I wish it was a tiny bit cooler.

Alice.S
07-11-2008, 04:29 PM
okay,

Granted: but you can only wish for new socks

Granted: but your wish has thrown the whole eco system out of wack

I wish I could have $4000, to go shopping for clothes

willfulone
07-12-2008, 01:07 AM
Granted. But, you have to pay back $12,000.00 for borrowing the funds. :D

I wish pizza had no calories.

t0neg0d
07-12-2008, 01:13 AM
Done, pizza does not (and never has) contained a single a unit of energy equal to 4.1855 joules.

I wish I had spidey-senses.

HeronW
07-12-2008, 03:22 AM
Bingo! You can tell when a fly is coming and can catch it with your web but you really hate the taste!

I wish the neighbors would pick up after their dog.

t0neg0d
07-12-2008, 04:07 AM
Granted, but their dog does such a lovely job picking up after them, that there is no further need to clean their house.

I wish the world revolved around me. (leaving myself sooooo open here.)

shakeysix
07-12-2008, 05:34 AM
granted. the world revolves around you. gravity is doing some weird things to your shape. your head and feet are shrinking and flattening, and your mid section and hips are widening. you use the equator for a belt and the poles for shoes and a very tight little white beanie. you are probably never going to have sex again. unless you can grab onto uranus

i wish that i had a nickel for every bug splat on my car--s6

Komnena
07-12-2008, 05:39 AM
Granted.Unfortunately they are wooden nickels. They fill your house.
I wish they hadn't made Arwen the warrior princess in the Lord of the Rings movies.

t0neg0d
07-12-2008, 05:55 AM
Granted, she is now Arwen the three-headed juggling dog, but still plays a prominent role in the LotR movies.

I wish that any poster who tries to respond to this this wish would explode before they can type and submit their answer. Gah head.. I dare ya.... respond.

willfulone
07-12-2008, 06:44 AM
I did explode, but not in the manner you probably expected. You can be sure the scent is making a beeline to your nasal sensory organs and the horrible smell (I did eat beans :D) will never leave your immediate personal space. Good luck to you fella, beware what you wish for.

I wish I could fly.

t0neg0d
07-12-2008, 07:04 AM
I did explode, but not in the manner you probably expected. You can be sure the scent is making a beeline to your nasal sensory organs and the horrible smell (I did eat beans :D) will never leave your immediate personal space. Good luck to you fella, beware what you wish for.

I wish I could fly.

I thought you just did!


I wish willful would fly a little further away from my nasal sensory organs ;)

willfulone
07-12-2008, 07:42 AM
Granted. But, damage is already done. It's like skunk smell. The only way to get rid of that horrible fart smell is to rinse out your nose with tomato juice. Good luck with that.

I wish my headache would go away.

t0neg0d
07-12-2008, 09:40 AM
Granted, your ass has been sealed completly. This could be problematic.

I wish I knew everything and didn't have to resort to making it up.

Leellana
07-12-2008, 01:26 PM
Granted, but since you now know everything, the world's population comes to you to solve their problems. Because of the all day, all night phone calls or knocks on your door, you have to flee to an uncharted island.

I wish I was already done with school.

t0neg0d
07-12-2008, 02:04 PM
Granted, you are "done" with school... now all you have to do is finish it as well.

I wish I laid golden eggs.

Leellana
07-12-2008, 02:20 PM
Granted, yet not only does it cause your bum endless pain, but a nosy neighbor has found out a alerted the media. Again the people of the world flock to your house, hoping to steal one of your golden eggs, keeping you up at night for fear that someone will actually break into your house.

I wish for peace one Earth. :D

t0neg0d
07-12-2008, 02:38 PM
Granted, all human beings die.

I wish for piece on earth. >.<

alleycat
07-12-2008, 02:43 PM
Granted. You can have the piece of earth right between Cleveland and Akron.

I wish the workweek was two days long, and the weekend was five days.

t0neg0d
07-12-2008, 02:48 PM
Granted, but unfortunately we are all moved to weekend shifts, getting the weekdays off =(

I wish I could sleep like the cat in alleycat's avatar.

Leellana
07-12-2008, 03:05 PM
Granted, but the hammock fits you more like a thong. That must hurt. :e2cry:


I wish I had a muffin right now.

moderan
07-12-2008, 03:14 PM
Granted, but it's a tuna and sauerkraut muffin. Tuna reuben! Ewww.

I wish my rabbits would stop chewing on the carpets and books.

Leellana
07-12-2008, 03:19 PM
Granted, the leave the carpets and books alone but start chewing on your furniture instead.

I wish my shift was over already!

t0neg0d
07-12-2008, 05:22 PM
Granted... YER FIRED!

I wish I lived in a yellow submarine.

Woof
07-12-2008, 05:33 PM
Granted. Your yellow submarine happens to be a sandwich and you die an agonizing death inside a Subway.


I wish that all weapons, including nuclear missiles would instantly turn into Jello-O.

t0neg0d
07-12-2008, 05:50 PM
Granted, all weapons, including nuclear missiles instantly turn, impacting into Jello-O and (once again) every living thing on the planet dies.

I wish I didn't have food poisoning. =(>

moderan
07-12-2008, 07:42 PM
Granted. But global warming has now turned to nuclear winter, and you have to shovel.

I wish telemarketers would call someone else...

willfulone
07-12-2008, 08:05 PM
Granted, I took their calls. I would call you to tell you what is up, but I changed your internet and dropped your phone carrier. You can no longer be reached except in person. You really need to know that I signed you up for college courses, dropped your dish/cable network, added you to clubs that will send you monthy supplies of fruit, facial cleaning products, makeup, mops, shammies. I added your donation to PBS on a monthy basis, got you buying Progressive and Esurance just in case you are a poor driver (bad drivers need poor insurance carriers). Oh, and I gave an opinion on your behalf to the gallop poll asking which candidate you support and why. They are sending the police soon for you to explain yourself.

I wish cement did not get hot in summer.

moderan
07-12-2008, 08:54 PM
Granted. You'll now need suction cup soles to keep from slipping on the silicone coating. *laughing like mad* I think you did me a buncha favors there. Which courses am I taking now?
I wish lolz would go away.

willfulone
07-12-2008, 09:44 PM
You are taking pattern making for children's dresses, philosophy so you understand why you want to make said patterns, advanced physics so can sound pompus when talking to strangers, psychology so you can get in touch with your feelings as to why you want to be pompus...there are others, but I think you will benefit from some surprise when your course modules hit your inbox. Oh, wait, you don't know your internet carrier. Hope you do not mind a low GPA.

Granted, LOL is gone. You no longer have any way to laugh though.

I wish that there were 8 days a week.

slcboston
07-12-2008, 11:41 PM
Granted.

You have to work 6 of them. So does everyone else. That crowd outside with the torches and pitchforks? Yeah, that's for you.

I wish my neighbors were more conscientious.

willfulone
07-13-2008, 12:00 AM
Granted. They are so conscientious, they are clones of Doris Roberts and Peter Boyle in "Everybody Loves Raymond."

I wish I did not have to do laundry another day in my life.

slcboston
07-13-2008, 12:08 AM
granted

you're a nudist. which violates your local public indeceny laws. You resist arrest, making crude and overly suggestive remarks to the arresting officers. A brawl ensues. In court, you strip naked and flash the judge and jury. You are sent to an institution, where your clothes are provided for you, and someone else cleans them for you for the rest of your life.

I wish I didn't have to review someone's paper.

lostgirl
07-13-2008, 12:10 AM
Granted.

You're struck with illiteracy. You never have to review another paper in your life.. or read anything else for that matter.

I wish I had a self-filling glass of water.

txgrl
07-13-2008, 12:21 AM
Chug chug chug!

I wish I had something to do. . .

slcboston
07-13-2008, 12:56 AM
Granted

There's a pack of wolves chasing you. And they aren't playing tag.

I wish I wasn't taken for granted.

moderan
07-13-2008, 01:48 AM
Granted. Good luck with the paparazzi.

I wish that people didn't have to feel unnecessary pain.


You are taking pattern making for children's dresses, philosophy so you understand why you want to make said patterns, advanced physics so can sound pompus when talking to strangers, psychology so you can get in touch with your feelings as to why you want to be pompus...there are others, but I think you will benefit from some surprise when your course modules hit your inbox. Oh, wait, you don't know your internet carrier. Hope you do not mind a low GPA.

Hmm. Those are actually useful. I'm guessing you signed me up with Netzero *chuckles* I run a webstore for crafters. Can you sign me up for some economics courses too? I need to learn how to invest the money from all those children's dresses. You're my new hero *beams*

willfulone
07-13-2008, 04:31 AM
I DID sign you up for ECON. The language it is taught in is Latin. Should be very dry learning. I do not know NetZero so you will still have to locate your internet provider. Let me know if you need a hint.

Your wish: "I wish that people didn't have to feel unnecessary pain."

Granted.

It was impossible to determine which pain was necessary (everyone being different and all). Thus people no longer feel any pain. And everyone runs with scissors.

I wish I were 3" taller.

Mason
07-13-2008, 07:39 AM
Granted. You are now 3" taller, but the Genie's Intern forgot to carry a 1 when he did the math so you are now also 8" wider.

I wish I could show up for work whenever I wanted and still get paid the same.

Lillyth
07-13-2008, 10:43 AM
Granted.

You now work... for free.

I wish my damn arm didn't hurt from my jujitsu tournament today...

moderan
07-13-2008, 11:26 AM
Granted. But you now have fallen arches, are bowlegged, and your knees knock.

I wish I had an air conditioner that worked properly. And fit in the same space that the old one that doesn't work right is in. And I'd like it in the reasonably near future, o great genie. Nice shoes, o most esteemed granter of wishes. Love your hair!


I DID sign you up for ECON. The language it is taught in is Latin. Should be very dry learning. I do not know NetZero so you will still have to locate your internet provider. Let me know if you need a hint.
Yes please. It's ok if the hint is in Latin. *grins* Or you can just tell me right out if'n you don't feel like beating around the bush.

slcboston
07-13-2008, 06:11 PM
Granted.

You have one properly working A/C that even fits in the old spot. The rest of the wiring in your home, however, is where the real problem lies. You no longer have to worry about A/C as the electrical fire leaves you with more than adequate ventilation by burning down your walls.

(Genie's bald, btw, so comments about hair just tend to tick him off. :D)

I wish I had a cell phone

alleycat
07-13-2008, 06:28 PM
Granted. While you're waiting for your bail to be posted, you can use the pay phone in the holding cell.

I wish I never got stuck again at the railroad crossing up the road from my house.

slcboston
07-13-2008, 06:46 PM
granted

you get stuck *in* the railroad crossing. but it only happens once.

I wish I could sing "I left my heart in san francisco" like tony bennet

willfulone
07-13-2008, 06:48 PM
Yes please. It's ok if the hint is in Latin. *grins* Or you can just tell me right out if'n you don't feel like beating around the bush. Alpha Omega Lambda

"I wish I never got stuck again at the railroad crossing up the road from my house."

Granted. The railroad station and tracks are relocating 13 miles away. However, now you need to take the train to work as required by your local govt.

I wish I could sleep more than 2-3 hours a night.

slcboston
07-13-2008, 06:51 PM
Granted.

You sleep 18 hrs a day and get fired from your job, alienating your friends and family.

I wish people who posted here would read the rules of the game, so they'd know how to properly play, and save conversations for PM's. :D

lostgirl
07-13-2008, 06:53 PM
Granted.

You're suddenly inundated with PM's and have no time to play this game anymore because you're too busy trying to keep up with the massive influx in your Inbox.

I wish I was out shopping.

Mason
07-13-2008, 07:03 PM
Granted.

Sunday is a great day to go used car shopping. I'd stay away from the deals on SUV's though.

I wish I could have every CD that I've ever wanted.

willfulone
07-13-2008, 07:04 PM
Granted. But you went deaf and cannot hear them.

I wish it would stop raining

slcboston
07-13-2008, 07:04 PM
granted

they all fall on you at once.

i wish my entire cd collection was digitized (to go with that free ipod in this wish)

lostgirl
07-13-2008, 07:08 PM
Granted.

Your entire collection of CD's consists of show tunes and they play beautifully out of your pretty hot pink iPod.

I wish it was next year.

willfulone
07-13-2008, 07:11 PM
lost girl too fast

slcboston
07-13-2008, 07:11 PM
Granted

You probably should have specified what happened in that year. how is life in the exiles of Siberia? grown tired of reindeer meat yet?

*still shuddering at show tunes*

I wish i could get those show tunes out of my head

lostgirl
07-13-2008, 07:14 PM
Granted.

The show tunes are replaced with Sherry Lewis and LambChop's song "That never ends" *singing* This is the song that doesn't end, it keeps going on my friend, some people starting singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because, this is the song that doesn't end, it keeps going on and on..... You get the point... :D

I wish that I had my own home gym.

slcboston
07-13-2008, 07:18 PM
granted

home gym courtesy of Torquemada

i wish i had lamb chops for dinner. :D

CheriVixen
07-13-2008, 07:59 PM
Gratned but you have to explain to Little Bo Peep where her sheep have gone.

I wish I lived on the beach.

slcboston
07-13-2008, 08:17 PM
Granted.

You even get to have a house. Of course, you're a hermit crab and now have to fend off seagulls and other predators, but hey, you're on a beach.

I wish I wasn't out of relish.

Nymtoc
07-13-2008, 08:23 PM
Granted

A truck has just dumped 20 tons of relish into your house, filling every nook and cranny of every room. You managed to escape with your life and immediately put your house up for sale, but no one want to buy the stinking place, especially in today's market.

:D

I wish I had a car that runs on hydrogen.

CheriVixen
07-13-2008, 08:27 PM
Granted. You are now in relish- as part of a hot dog costume you have to wear while walking the boardwalk on Coney Island.

I wish I had a bigger shell.

slcboston
07-13-2008, 08:30 PM
granted

your shell is nymtoc's car... it's a very, very tiny little car. :D (which unfortunately drives the both of you straight into the ocean in a freak accident)

i wish i could have visited someone today

CheriVixen
07-13-2008, 08:31 PM
Granted but the only hydrogen available in your area is hydrogen peroxide and you get lots of weird looks when you buy cases of the stuff at the drug store.

I wish I had a mask like Zorro.

CheriVixen
07-13-2008, 08:34 PM
Granted, I'll send over my time machine so you can start the day over and then I'll move to a bigger shell so we can both fit.

I wish I had a sword with my Zorro mask.

slcboston
07-13-2008, 08:34 PM
Granted.

you're a racoon. with a sword. No real way to handle it, but beggars can't be choosers.

(in an animal mood at the moment, I guess)

I wish i could stop playing and get some work done.

CheriVixen
07-13-2008, 08:40 PM
Granted, the server you're logged into will be going off line for updates in 5min, Play fast.

I wish the trash cans here had better pickins.

slcboston
07-13-2008, 08:42 PM
Granted.

They also come with pit bulls who have a hankering for raccoon tartar.

I wish i had less than five minutes to wait.

Lillyth
07-14-2008, 12:49 AM
Granted.

It is now next year, and you have gotten absolutely zero writing done.

I wish I had a live-in maid.

willfulone
07-14-2008, 07:53 AM
Granted. Think Berta on "Two and a Half Men"; double her sarcasm, and increase her laziness. You cannot fire her for she is family. That is your maid.

I wish I could take a nap.

t0neg0d
07-14-2008, 08:24 AM
Granted... but... eh... where are you taking it to?

I wish my wifes underwear didn't itch so bad when I wear it.

willfulone
07-14-2008, 09:47 AM
Granted.

Instead of the nice lacy bits she wears to entice you, she wears now soft cotton granny panties so you do not itch.

I wish spiders would stay outside my place.

Leellana
07-14-2008, 09:58 AM
I wish spiders would stay outside my place.

Granted, now they are all camped outside your house with scouts watching all exits, waiting for you to leave so that they can pounce.

I wish sugary items weren't fattening anymore.

willfulone
07-14-2008, 08:50 PM
[quote=Leellana;2549461I wish sugary items weren't fattening anymore.[/quote]

Granted, but everything else you eat has double calories to make up for it.

I wish school would start so my son could go back.

slcboston
07-14-2008, 09:40 PM
Granted.

But it now costs twice as much for half the education. (Best part is, I didn't have to *do* anything to grant that... our education system did it for me. :D)

I wish I could work less.

alleycat
07-14-2008, 09:49 PM
Granted. You're fired.

I wish I had some watermelon.

t0neg0d
07-15-2008, 04:50 AM
Granted... (o )( o) ... just add water.

I wish their was something decent to drink in my house.

Leellana
07-15-2008, 10:45 AM
Granted, your fridge is now filled with all different sizes of bottled water. Problem is, all the alcohol has vanished.

I wish that there was something good to watch on TV.

t0neg0d
07-15-2008, 10:58 AM
Granted... I am now on top of your TV /flex... yeah... ok, ok... better than reruns of Joan of Arcadia.

I wish that I could wish for someone wishing for another thing that I would wish for.

Leellana
07-15-2008, 03:02 PM
Granted. Uh....Yeah....


I wish for a Starbucks grande Cinnamon Dolce Latte....Yum.....

soleary
07-15-2008, 03:26 PM
Granted. But your grande Cinnamon Dolce Latte is actually being held by a very large, strapping drag queen named Starbuck who is pissed you transported him from the stage of his cabaret act into your living room. You've also been granted track shoes to get the heck outtathere before he beats you to a pulp with his 4 inchers. (I think he may be on steroids).

I wish I had a V8.

alleycat
07-15-2008, 03:44 PM
Granted. I know where you can get an '84 Plymouth with a gas-gluzzling V8 for next to nothing. Just haul it away.

I wish my new glasses would come in.

Tink
07-15-2008, 04:00 PM
Your wish is granted. Alley tries on his new glasses and discovers that the glasses enables him to see through peoples clothes and since it was big ole hairy man that delivered to Alley, Alley never wheres his glasses again.

I wish that I could post and read posts here at the AW all day long...

t0neg0d
07-15-2008, 04:16 PM
Granted.... YER FIRED! um... again...

I wish I had Alley's glasses, the delivery guy sounded hawt!

willfulone
07-16-2008, 03:57 AM
Granted. They are not the right script for you and you are now blind (no peekie under the clothes for you).

I wish my city would quit with the Favre talk already.

alleycat
07-16-2008, 04:05 AM
Granted (and it was a pleasure to do so). Favre will be traded to the European American Football League (or whatever it's called) . . . where he'll never be heard from again.

I wish I could think of a really great ending for the story I'm currently working on.

willfulone
07-16-2008, 04:30 AM
Granted. Tonight while you sleep, you will dream the most fantastic ending ever, will jump out of bed to type it. You will go back to bed without saving your doc and your system will crash. You will wake up without the memory and all will be lost.

I wish we did not have to make nasty twists to granting wishes (for I really do wish to grant the good stuffies!).

shakeysix
07-16-2008, 03:39 PM
granted--you are now on the good cheer, sweetness and light forum.

i don't have to add any nasty twists here because we all know how fast good cheer and sweetness curdles. have a wonderful day.

i wish that my dog could be my chauffeur

CheriVixen
07-16-2008, 03:45 PM
Granted, it now takes forever to go anywhere because your chauffeur has to stop at every phonepole and fire hydrant he sees.

I wish the kids woukd make their own breakfasts for once.

shakeysix
07-16-2008, 03:56 PM
they are working on it even as we speak. did you hear that crash? do you smell smoke? do you hear sirens?-s6

i wish that i could read all my favorite kid books again, and not know the ending

Alpha Echo
07-16-2008, 04:10 PM
Granted. But now all your adult books are missing.

I wish I knew how this week would turn out.

Tink
07-16-2008, 04:23 PM
Granted- This week will turn out wonderfully and your weekend will be even better than this week so be prepared for great things to happen.

I wish that I could here from one of the five publishing companies that I have submitted my last two ms. too and that the news will be great news.

t0neg0d
07-16-2008, 10:19 PM
Granted! You hear back from all five and it's is FABULOUS news!! They all have decide to take on the new MS--unfortunately, it is someone else's. >.<

I wish my headache would go away.

Tink
07-16-2008, 10:23 PM
granted- but it moves to other areas in your body and soon you are screaming in pure agony as the headache becomes a full bodyache.

I wish someone would make me walk away from this computer and get some housework done...or better yet--I wish someone would come in and do all of my work for me.

CheriVixen
07-16-2008, 10:25 PM
Granted - I'll be roght over but in return you have to come and do my housework.

I wish someone would massage my aching feet.

KikiteNeko
07-16-2008, 10:34 PM
Granted, but your massage will be given by that creepy guy in the Saw trilogy.

I wish George W Bush would be excommunicated.

CheriVixen
07-16-2008, 11:03 PM
Granted, but he doesn't know what "excommunicated" means so it doesn't do any good.

I wish I could build a walkie-talkie with the contents of my purse.

KikiteNeko
07-16-2008, 11:35 PM
Granted, but it doesn't work and you'll get fired from your job for talking to a balled up tissue.

I wish I had a treehouse.

slcboston
07-16-2008, 11:38 PM
Granted.

Your tree house is in the top of a very old, VERY tall redwood tree. Sturdy, but it gives you a crippling sense of vertigo the first time you look down. You have to be rescued via helicopter, and it's caught on national tv. The public humiliation lasts for a week until a politician does something stupid again.

I wish i could go home by clicking my heels.

CheriVixen
07-16-2008, 11:45 PM
Granted but the Wicked Witch of the West is there and demanding her sister's shoes back.

I wish my car was a Transformer.

KikiteNeko
07-16-2008, 11:46 PM
Granted. You have needlessly clicked your heels together so many times that they put you in a home.

I wish my novel would become a movie.

ETA. Damn, beat to the punch.

slcboston
07-16-2008, 11:51 PM
Granted.

But it isn't one of nice Transformers... and Michael Bay is still directing, right after he options Tomo's book.

I wish it was quittin time. :D

t0neg0d
07-16-2008, 11:55 PM
I wish my car was a Transformer.

Granted, your car is a cross-dresser... oh wait...


I wish my novel would become a movie.

Granted, Your current novel becomes a copy of DVD, 'Back To The Future'.


I wish it was quittin time.

Granted, you quit.

I wish 'Gainful Employment' really meant 'Gainful Employment'

CheriVixen
07-17-2008, 12:00 AM
Granted you now work as a laundry machine that uses Gain detergent only. Boy, you smell fresh.

I wish my husband would come home early.

KikiteNeko
07-17-2008, 12:02 AM
Granted, but he brought his mother home with him.

I wish I could afford my own apartment.