Your wish is granted...

Yeshanu

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Granted. You're a kazoo virtuoso.


I wish I had a big backyard.
 

janetbellinger

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You do. You've shrunk, just like the kids in "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids." You're the size of an insect, and your backyard is relatively huge.
 
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eldragon

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Your wish is granted...
Okay, we get to play evil genies.
I'll make a wish.
The next person grants the wish but corrupts it somehow. Then he or she posts a new wish for the next person to corrupt. And so on.

Example-
ME: I wish I had Spiderman's powers.

NEXT PERSON: Granted, but you now have four extra arms and an appetite for flies. I wish I were immortal.

NEXT PERSON: Granted, you're stuck in suspended animation forever. I wish I were taller.
etc.

Alright, for real...
I wish I had a best-selling novel.
__________________
Never ask a mime for directions.

1/20 Rejection Pledge
0/2 Acceptance Pledge
 

poetinahat

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Granted. But you shouldn't have tried to submit Huckleberry Finn as your own work.

I wish I could control hair growth with mind power.
 

janetbellinger

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You can. But now it's turned a crappy shade of gray overnight, and wiry like a bottlebrush.

I wish the dental floss didn't get stuck between my teeth.
 

poetinahat

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Granted. You're a guest on the next Jerry Springer show.

I wish I had a better job.
 

nandu

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Granted! It's in Iraq, and you have lost your passport so cannot get out.

I wish I were the president of my country.
 

Godfather

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granted, you are now the president of your country, voted in with ALL the votes.
unfortunately the mafia have taken over and you no longer hold any power, and if you do anything wrong yo get 'whacked'



i wish that my girl trouble would sort itself out
(hey man, chicks dig poets)
 

eldragon

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It has. Right now, they are all in love with each other.


I wish my rat wasn't sick and I wouldn't have to take her to the doctor today.
 

Jaycinth

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Same Psychosis...different day.
Your rat isn't sick. It is pregnant and giving birth as we type!

I wish the exchange rates all over the world would stay exactly where they are right now for 2 days. ( Is that too much to ask...2 miserable days?)
 
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Godfather

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granted, the exchange rate stays the EXACT same,

meanwhile, the rest of civilisation collapses.



i wish that she liked me back (although, i dont know whether or not she does)
 

sacredmime

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Granted. She likes you. But she's not "in like" with you.

I wish I had Willie Wonka's chocolate factory (did someone already wish for this?)
 

Yeshanu

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Granted. But your dad is still a dentist, and he's still hounding you about cavities. Plus, you're diabetic and can't eat any of the chocolate you make.

I wish my phone was working again.
 

electric.avenue

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Granted, but somehow your phone number got posted all over the web, and now you keep getting very annoying phone calls from people trying to sell you stuff, etc, etc, etc.

I wish that my very nice neighbours would stop tapping on my door about very trivial stuff when I am madly trying to concentrate on work.
 

The Commatose Kidd

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granted- now they are knocking on your windows.

i wish i could read really fast.
 

sacredmime

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Granted, but now you speak really slow. Really... reallly... slow.

I wish people would stop talking to me about the excruciating minutia of their existence.
 

eldragon

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Granted - nobody will talk to you at all .............ever again.



I wish my husband would hurry up and go back to work.
 

poetinahat

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Granted. But you have just used your one wish.

I wish Annabella would get another wish.
 

Sage

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Cheering you all on!
Granted, but it will be twisted in some way.

I wish I was done working.
 

Jiloa

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Sure. You're done working, but whenever you don't work you must exercise to the tune of "The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round."

I wish I had a personal assistant.