Your wish is granted...

Jiloa

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Granted, but it's also yesterday.

I wish my favorite pair of slippers weren't near death.
 

dahmnait

Just a figment…
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When you figure it out, will you let me know?
Hey, no problem. Your fight club has been started and you are the punching bag.

I wish that I had enough time in the day to finish writing all my projects.
 
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Jiloa

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Sure, I'll triple the hours in a day for ya, but you can only use a wax pencil to write and stack of 1" post-it notes for paper.


I wish I knew how to speak Spanish.
 

poetinahat

say it loud
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Granted. You live in Iceland.

I wish I had a bigger house.
 

sacredmime

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Granted, it's ten stories and covers ten square miles. There are no elevators. There are no bathrooms. And you can't remember where you left the remote.

I wish Hollywood would make better movies.
 

luxintenebrae

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They do. But now it takes them so long to make one, they only come out every two years or so. They're so great that all the independent filmmakers give up trying to make better ones, and Hollywood goes bankrupt making so few movies, so no movies are made by anyone at all. The entire American economy is turned upside down, and thousands, maybe millions, of people are out of work. And it's all your fault.

:D

I wish I could become an astronaut, discover a new planet, go there, and communicate with the intelligent species there.
 

poetinahat

say it loud
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Granted. Choose one:
1) "You make me so very angry!"
2) "Brain the size of a planet, and this is what I get?"

I wish MTV would actually show music videos. Of good music.
to dream the impossible dream...
 

Nicholson James

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Granted. But now we're back a couple decades, and MTV no longer exists. It was one or the other, buddy.

I wish the Swedish Academy gave me the Nobel Prize in Literature before anything of mine is published -- just because they're so darn sure that it'll happen anyway.
 

Jaycinth

Your Cuddly Sociopathic
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Same Psychosis...different day.
Granted! You are now a huge beautiful white tiger in the prime of your life......in a small cage behind the rusty doublewide , next to the hound dogs, around the barn from the aligator pen at the end of the dirt road off the gravel road off the single lane road that leads to route 5 outside of Perdition Oklahoma.......

I wish I had bought those pretty blue glass plates I saw at Target when I was Christmas shopping....
 

sacredmime

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Granted and Granted.

Paint, the last 25 years of your life have been erased. Unfortunately, you still look and feel the same as you do now.

Jay, those blue glass plates you bought turn out to be contact lenses for an ancient Ch'thulu-like monster. He wants them back! Luckily, now he can't see and is terrorizing your neighbors instead.

I wish I could control the weather.
 

Jaycinth

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Same Psychosis...different day.
Wish granted. Those were REAL magic beans you ate and all you have to do is concentrate and ......

I wish my fall out shelter were stronger.
 

Eveningsdawn

Just Sing.
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Granted. But now there are no windows, the door is welded shut, and air can't get in. Have fun!

I wish my flight had not been delayed. Aarrrrgh!
 

nandu

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You do. It's full of cannibals.

I wish I'd win the nobel prize for literature.
 

threedogpeople

This is my BEST side!
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Granted but it has been awarded posthumously your <insert name of least favorite relative here> is taking credit for being your ghost writer.

I wish I hadn't gone to Seattle last week.
 

Nicholson James

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Granted. Seattle has just changed its name to Where the Sun Don't Shine.

I wish the Pittsburgh Steelers will win this upcoming Superbowl.
 

arrowqueen

RIP, our sarky besom
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Granted. You didn't so you've now been arrested for indecent exposure.

I wish I didn't need to do housework.