Your wish is granted...

sacredmime

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Granted, here's a remote control that does just as you asked. Unfortunately, your significant other grabs to change the channel and accidently brings you back to the Big Bang.

I wish I had a cadre of flying squirrels that would slay my foes on command.
 

Yeshanu

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You do. Unfortunately, they filled your house, basement to attic, with green acorns just before the SWAT team came and killed them all off, riddling your car with bullet holes in the process.


I wish I was as beautiful as Cate Blanchett.
 

Danger Jane

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Granted. You are--on the inside. On the outside you are covered in hideous, plate-sized boils. Inner beauty trumps all.......

I wish I had a loophole-free wish.
 

poetinahat

say it loud
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Granted. Hope you enjoyed it.

I wish everybody here got along.
 

Eveningsdawn

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Granted. They're all united in hating you.

I wish I could keep the dog we're petsitting.
 

Jewel101

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Granted. But they've taken everything you own to replace the dog.

I wish I could watch video/tv shows/read book forever
 

Jaycinth

Your Cuddly Sociopathic
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Same Psychosis...different day.
POOF!!! that Guy from TV has come to your house and built you a 5 million dollar home theatre room, complete with all electronics and the latest most update equipment that was previewed at the home show last week. You have a mint copy of every dvd and video ever produced, Sattelite and Cable TV. Three computers, a laptop controller, streaming music, satellite radio, this is a dream come true down to the perfect comfortable chair you are sitting in.

But you have all of this because you now weigh 1,378 lbs and no one expects you to be able to move out of that chair, or even the room for the rest of your life.

I wish I could strut in heels like Sharon Stone!
 

poetinahat

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Granted.

(really struggling for a downside here)

Um...

Now, no one takes you seriously as a writer because you're so hot.

(Sheesh. NEXT!)

I wish I would go to bed when it's time.
 

sacredmime

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Granted, but you always find Richard Simmons there waiting for you (just for cuddling, mind you.)

I wish I had more discipline.
 

Haggis

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Granted. Richard Simmons is coming after you with a whip.

I wish I was fishing.
 

Eveningsdawn

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Granted. But you don't catch anything. Oh, and the lake is dry. So really you're sitting in the middle of a rather damp muddy patch of ground. Filled with rotting fish. But hey! At least you're not working.

I wish Haggis's avatar didn't have the same basic colors as mine. I keep getting confused.
 

Danger Jane

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Granted. Your avatar doesn't exist.

I wish I had more orange soda to drink and a rotisserie chicken.
 

Haggis

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Granted. THe meteor won't hit your house until about...four, three, two, one...

I wish I could travel into the past.
 

poetinahat

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Granted. Next stop, Pleistocene era! All out!

I wish I could control my drinking.
 

Jewel101

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Granted, but now you can't control everthing else

I wish good things were forever
 

Eveningsdawn

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Granted, but you're only going to live ten more minutes. Enjoy it while you can!

I wish Friday would hurry up and get here.
 

poetinahat

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Granted. You work double-shift weekends.

I wish I enjoyed disappointments.
 

Eveningsdawn

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Granted. But nothing disappoints you now.

I wish I'd seen the look on Matt's face when my friend asked if he knew anyone she could have a threesome with.
 

poetinahat

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Granted. Hi, Matt.

(Wait. That didn't work. Oh, forget it. Here's a mirror.)

I wish I had that post back again.
 

maestrowork

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Granted. You work double-shift weekends.

I wish I enjoyed disappointments.
__________________
It's dark outside except for pinpoint light
Why a little gold tooth lost in a fight
I'll duck outside pick it up from the street
Stomp on it once and lay it at your feet

-- Richard Hell
 

Jaycinth

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Same Psychosis...different day.
Granted. You do..But wait, your'e disappointed, so you don't, but that cheers you up, so you do, but now you are dissappointed that you do..so you don't. But you do so you are glowing with happiness, but that depresses you so you are disappointed, again, but the Dr. gives you a mood enhancing drug, so you are happy, and that dispppoints you and you are sad. So you kill the Dr, and you are happy, but that dissapoints you so you turn yourself in and you are sad, but they give you more mood drugs and..........

I wish they would make a movie in which Bambi gets ahold of a gun shop in Idaho and....
 

Branwyn

Print release:Sept.1,'09
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Granted--but Bambi runs wild in the forest and shoots Thumper in cold blood.


I wish I had a wish...
 

luxintenebrae

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You do. But you forgot what it was. Just as well because it would've had a loophole resulting in something very nasty, so you decide not to bother with it.

I wish my 3 dogs were brilliant and could learn to type intelligently so they could each write one of my 3 papers that are due soon, and which I should be working on instead of this....
 

arrowqueen

RIP, our sarky besom
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Granted - but they graduate instead of you.

I wish I had more money.