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triceretops
03-21-2006, 04:43 AM
I have a scene where my protag is watching and listening to a news broadcast. I want the reader to know what is being said by the reporter. What is the correct format:

"There is an angry mob at the mayor's office."

THERE IS AN ANGRY MOB AT THE MAYOR'S OFFICE.

There is an angry mob at the mayor's office.

There is an angry mob at the mayor's office.


Or any other variation? Thanks,

Tri

Maryn
03-21-2006, 05:45 PM
I can't really answer your question, except on a best-guess basis (worthless, I know), but may I suggest that the reporter on the air is more likely to phrase it differently, rather than use "there-is" construction? Consider "An angry mob surrounds the mayor's office" or "Mayor Quimby's office is open despite an angry mob," something along those lines.

Maryn, who'll keep you company while you wait for the actual answer

maestrowork
03-21-2006, 06:04 PM
Do an extract -- you may italicize but it's not necessary. I agree with Maryn: broadcast journalists are very specific about their word choices and reporting style. It might be helpful to ask somebody who does broadcast news for a living.

triceretops
03-22-2006, 02:59 AM
Ah, a slight bit of confusion here. Not the sentence structure. I just want to know how to put a radio sentence in a novel. No wonder no one answered this one for a long while. I don't know whether to use caps, simple quotes, italics or what.


Tri

reph
03-22-2006, 04:15 AM
Tri, much depends on how long the bit is and how you want to attribute it. Will it have a dialogue tag, like "the announcer said"? Does it make a paragraph by itself?

triceretops
03-22-2006, 05:37 AM
I only make the protag change the channel of the news station, then start off with the reporter asking the populace questions. Each interviewee gets a seperate paragraph, but perhaps I should tag the reporter each time she speaks up?

Perhaps I throw in an example.

Tri

triceretops
03-22-2006, 05:41 AM
HERE'S A CHUNK OF THE TEXT:



Zaz and Dendy proceeded to the shuttle deck with a swift pace, strapped in, opened the bay doors and requested clearance to lift off. They pulled up into a clear sky and headed northeast toward Henderson Nevada. It would take less than 30 minutes to reach a small landing port in the private housing community. He wondered if they could catch up on some earth side news during the ride, and dialed up a local news station on the command console. A disturbing view appeared—a reporter had found herself surrounded by a contingent (mob) of angry protestors holding electronic flash cards and banners with slogans and epitaphs. One of the banners read: INFORMATION NOW ON THE INVASION!
The other channels were clogged with the same live broadcasts, most of the regular programming preempted. Zaz settled on a channel that showed a group demonstrating outside the perimeter fence of the Capital.

“It seems to this reporter that if the first amendment had legs and drew breath, then it has just been stabbed in the back and is on its way down. Add to that the insufferable silence and indifference from Washington D.C., the Department of Defense, FCC, and the Interplanetary Defense Directorate, and we are left with a complete bureaucratic containment of the facts and or rumors associated with the recent Titan and Luna attacks. If not for the many privately owned broadcast receivers and networks, the populace would have been death and blind to this tragic invasion. We’ve just received word via private and commercial ground based observations that the moon stations: Tranquility Harbor, Mare Crisium, and Sinus Medii had suffered complete and total obliteration by some unknown and catastrophic explosive detonations.

“It begs the question of just what does our government know about these events, and what do they intend to do about it? The public at large has been left out of the loop, and media sources are coming up empty and quite baffled by this chain of events. Senators and congressmen are chomping at the bit, demanding to know answers to the so many questions that beg: what has happened—is there an invasion—what has become of the colonists on the moon—is earth presently in danger? We have had disputes with an alien culture before—so why is this any different? And just what was meant by the term biological entities? The public and media are certainly not gullible enough to believe that we have been invaded by doppelgangers. C’mon, Mr. President! Just exactly what are you hiding? And why are all the other foreign country governments playing along with this mandate of secrecy? Could this be some type of global hoax, or are we playing charades with world leaders who never intend to divulge the facts of what has happened?”

Ladies and gentlemen of the audience, we have been duped and slapped in the face with the hand of denial. How long will this subterfuge and cover-up last before a nation rise up in rebellion and righteous indignation? This is a need to know priority, ladies and gentlemen, and we need to know now!”

Zaz changed the channel and found more of the same but the subject matter differed.

“To say nothing of the recent incidents witnessed on the moon, it has now come to our attention that the tourist flights aboard the star liners that were in orbit pattern during the Valentine Down episode have been diverted to military installations. It has been postulated that the occupants of these flights have been sequestered against their will, and are being subjected to confinement for the purpose of debriefing. Families, relatives and fiends have been turned away from the gates of Moffit Field, Langley, and the Marriot Air Force installation by armed guards and patrols. Is it true, Mr. President, that the enforcement of Marshal Law is just around the corner? No comment?”

Another reporter appeared interviewing a local citizen.

“And what do you make of this phenomenon?”

“It’s a grand cover-up, if you ask me. Since when do our authorities have the right to keep pertinent, if not essential information, from the public? How are we going to protect ourselves if something escalates from all of this? It’s a shame that we cannot avail ourselves of information that might involve a world-wide security threat.”

“And you, madam, how has this news effected you?”

“My husband runs a timeshare program on Tranquility Harbor. He was due back yesterday. I can’t get in contact with him through any of the normal channels. I’m fraught with worry about what’s happened there, and have no idea whether my husband is alive or dead, or even confined somewhere! I’ve already contacted my legislature.”

“Sir, do you have any feelings or comments you wish to express?”

“I’ve been watching the Sat relays and that one that shows the fierce dust storm on the moon could only be one thing—asteroid strike. Took out all the stations, yep. Those folks are nothing but smudge now, sorry to say. But the Astronomer Royal on that station…KNOPE…I think it was…said so! There you have it.”

Zaz found a station where the interviewee happened to be a Captain of the Defense Directorate. The area around him was roped off and people were straining at the bit to get past the barrier and the armed guards.

“Captain, there’s been rumors persisting that we’ve indeed had an alien menace fire on our lunar installations. Is there any truth to this?”

“We’re investigating the matter at the moment.”

“What kind of a disaster or incident are we talking about here?”

“The anomaly has not been properly identified as of yet.”

“When do you think that will happen? I mean, when will this source be divulged?”

“As soon as we investigate the matter.”

“And what do you think you’ll find?”

“We’ll be apprised of that as soon as we identify the anomaly.”

“Can you speculate about this mysterious anomaly?”

“I’m afraid that it would be merely speculation at this point.”

“Why are hundreds, if not thousands of citizens being detained at military installations?”

“Now that is normal standard security procedure.”

“Security against what?”

“The questionable anomaly.”

“Is there anything else you can tell us about these tragic incidents?”

“I could but it would only be mere speculation. As soon as we find out more, the faster the public and media will be notified and apprised of these serious issues. If you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting at the pentagon.”

reph
03-22-2006, 06:29 AM
The typography you've given to the TV audio is okay: just quote marks, no underline or anything. The main thing is, will the reader know who's speaking? Yes, because phrases like "this reporter" clue him in.

But I happened to notice a few things...


Zaz and Dendy proceeded to the shuttle deck with a swift pace, strapped in, opened the bay doors and requested clearance to lift off. They pulled up into a clear sky and headed northeast toward Henderson Nevada. It would take less than 30 minutes to reach a small landing port in the private housing community. He wondered...
Who wondered? Zaz or Dendy?


the populace would have been death and blind to this tragic invasion.
Deaf and blind.


“It begs the question of just what does our government know...
That isn't what "begs the question" means.


It’s a shame that we cannot avail ourselves of information that might involve a world-wide security threat.”
Would someone picked off the street in a crisis talk so formally?


“And you, madam, how has this news effected you?”
Affected.


But the Astronomer Royal on that station…KNOPE…I think it was…
How did the person pronounce "KNOPE"?


If you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting at the pentagon.”
The Pentagon.

triceretops
03-22-2006, 07:13 AM
Thanks, reph, you are the one. This is first draftitis. I'll be much more careful.

Excellent points.

Tri