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RightHoJeeves
07-09-2014, 09:41 AM
Just a quick question about pregnancy... the first part of my WIP deals with the birth of the MC's daughter, but there is also a dinner party. The way its written at the moment, the dinner party happens the night before the wife goes into labour.

My question is... is it completely ridiculous to have such a heavily pregnant woman at a dinner party? The party is treated as being a networking event, particularly for the wife, so they have some sense of obligation to be there. Not something they can really turn down.

Thoughts?

cornflake
07-09-2014, 09:44 AM
Just a quick question about pregnancy... the first part of my WIP deals with the birth of the MC's daughter, but there is also a dinner party. The way its written at the moment, the dinner party happens the night before the wife goes into labour.

My question is... is it completely ridiculous to have such a heavily pregnant woman at a dinner party? The party is treated as being a networking event, particularly for the wife, so they have some sense of obligation to be there. Not something they can really turn down.

Thoughts?

I don't think I understand the question? Where's the party?

RightHoJeeves
07-09-2014, 09:48 AM
I don't think I understand the question? Where's the party?

Sorry, should have clarified. The party is at a colleague's house.

cornflake
07-09-2014, 09:54 AM
Sorry, should have clarified. The party is at a colleague's house.

Oh. I thought it was like, a long trip/plane flight away. Now I really don't understand the question?

RightHoJeeves
07-09-2014, 09:57 AM
Oh. I thought it was like, a long trip/plane flight away. Now I really don't understand the question?

The scene: A heavily pregnant woman goes to a networking dinner party at a colleague's house. The next day, she goes into labour.

The question is: is it unusual for a heavily pregnant woman to be at a dinner party? Would she be at home instead because of tiredness or something? Is a dinner party too much to expert from a heavily pregnant woman?

chompers
07-09-2014, 09:57 AM
Unless she's been put on bedrest, she should be able to go out and about. Is that what you're asking?

But just to add, I think if she's not feeling well due to her pregnancy, I would think people would be understanding if she's doesn't show up.

ETA: cross-posted. It depends on the woman, and the specifics of her pregnancy. But yes, it's feasible for her to go.

RightHoJeeves
07-09-2014, 10:00 AM
Unless she's been put on bedrest, she should be able to go out and about. Is that what you're asking?

But just to add, I think if she's not feeling well due to her pregnancy, I would think people would be understanding if she's doesn't show up.

Yes that's what I'm asking.

You make a good point there. The idea is that she wants to go because she's going to get some networking benefit out of it. I know I used the word obligation earlier... that was the wrong word. I just mean that there is an opportunity she wouldn't want to pass up.

elinor
07-09-2014, 10:04 AM
Women can be pretty resilient. She could very easily be up and walking around and have her water break in the middle of arm wrestling.

RightHoJeeves
07-09-2014, 10:06 AM
Women can be pretty resilient. She could very easily be up and walking around and have her water break in the middle of arm wrestling.

Haha! Wonderful. Maybe I should write in a post-dessert arm wrestle.

Thanks for your help everyone. I figured it was probably okay to have her there, but it's always good to check I suppose!

cornflake
07-09-2014, 10:18 AM
The scene: A heavily pregnant woman goes to a networking dinner party at a colleague's house. The next day, she goes into labour.

The question is: is it unusual for a heavily pregnant woman to be at a dinner party? Would she be at home instead because of tiredness or something? Is a dinner party too much to expert from a heavily pregnant woman?

It's so not unusual that I thought it was far away and that's why you were asking, heh.

I mean if she was tired people would get that, but no reason she wouldn't go to dinner. People work, socialize, run races (http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/early-lead/wp/2014/06/27/olympian-alysia-montano-runs-an-800-meter-race-while-34-weeks-pregnant/), etc., while very pregnant. No big deal in a general sense - an individual is an individual.

RightHoJeeves
07-09-2014, 10:23 AM
It's so not unusual that I thought it was far away and that's why you were asking, heh.

I mean if she was tired people would get that, but no reason she wouldn't go to dinner. People work, socialize, run races (http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/early-lead/wp/2014/06/27/olympian-alysia-montano-runs-an-800-meter-race-while-34-weeks-pregnant/), etc., while very pregnant. No big deal in a general sense - an individual is an individual.

Exxxcelllent. Many thanks for your help.

Jerboa
07-09-2014, 11:14 AM
My mate went into labour at my house. (I didn't know, because she just calmly drove home - she text me once she'd had the baby). Being pregnant doesn't mean you can't do anything. ;)

sheadakota
07-09-2014, 04:48 PM
Heck, I was riding my horse two days before I gave birth. I think I could have managed a dinner party.

LA*78
07-09-2014, 05:07 PM
Women don't generally know exactly when they're going to give birth unless it's a scheduled C-section. So as long as she doesn't have any major health issues, there's no reason why she couldn't go to a dinner party near her due date.

ladyillana
07-09-2014, 08:02 PM
Heck, I was riding my horse two days before I gave birth. I think I could have managed a dinner party.
Ditto--almost. Just before I gave birth I went through this super nesting period, and I was down on my hands and knees scrubbing all the floors in the house when my water broke. I finished the living room floor before I called my husband. A dinner party would have been no problem at all.

wendymarlowe
07-09-2014, 10:02 PM
Also, labor can be very gradual, and takes a LONG time (unless it's induced). You see the cliche of "oh no my water broke" and rushing the woman to the hospital, but the water only breaks about 10% of the time - usually the doctor has to do it manually when the woman is already in the birthing room. It's not uncommon to have 24-36 hours between the first onset of contractions and the baby actually arriving. I actually spent part of my eldest daughter's labor at the bookstore, browsing frantically for boy baby names - we were only given an 80% chance of it being a girl and we hadn't picked a contingency name yet :-P

Jersey Chick
07-09-2014, 10:28 PM
I was four days past my daughter's due date on Christmas back in 2000, and we did dinner at my in-laws house. And all through Christmas dinner, every time I shifted, my FIL was all "Are you okay? Is everything all right?"

It took another four days for that kid to decide to arrive. :)

atthebeach
07-09-2014, 10:47 PM
I taught school all day, and then went into labor a few hours later, that same day. I had no idea it would happen then. I felt better than I had a few days before, so I definitely could have attended a dinner party (although I was still generally exhausted and had some partial bed rest time before then, so I might have declined a party). Like ladyillana, I had more energy the day I went into labor (I read about that in one of those pregnancy books, that it happens for some, especially a drive to clean or sort). But it did not make me want to clean- drat, I could have used that motivation!

And yes, it took quite a while after labor started before he was born, too. I believe 22 hours. But then again, my sister I think went from first contraction to baby in just 20 minutes (just made it to the hospital). You just never know :)

So a party is definitely fine to attend (of course no planes or long distance travels- as I believe it was cornflake who already mentioned that).

Karen Junker
07-09-2014, 11:00 PM
I was at a dinner party on Aug. 22 -- walked about a half a mile to the bus stop and caught the bus home. Went into labor at 8 AM on Aug. 23, walked uphill 5 blocks to the hospital, where they had me sign some papers then I went to the delivery room -- the baby was born at 9 AM.

Tazlima
07-10-2014, 01:27 AM
A couple years ago I attended an acapella quartet contest where one of the singers looked about ready to pop. Not only did she make a road trip and perform, but her quartet won the contest (The announcer joked that they cheated, since technically they had five people on stage).

Anyway, what others said. If the pregnancy is uneventful, the woman can be active right up until she goes into labor. Heck, even that won't slow down some folks. I once spent several hours playing World of Warcraft with one of my teammates in labor the whole time.

cornflake
07-10-2014, 01:47 AM
A couple years ago I attended an acapella quartet contest where one of the singers looked about ready to pop. Not only did she make a road trip and perform, but her quartet won the contest (The announcer joked that they cheated, since technically they had five people on stage).

Anyway, what others said. If the pregnancy is uneventful, the woman can be active right up until she goes into labor. Heck, even that won't slow down some folks. I once spent several hours playing World of Warcraft with one of my teammates in labor the whole time.

Heh a friend of mine was trying to speed up her labour, so was out walking around the neighbourhood pushing her other kid in a heavy stroller, and saw and chatted with a neighbour, but didn't mention that. Two days later, she ran into the same neighbour at the kid's dance class, this time with a newborn in the stroller. He was completely baffled, like 'but I just saw you like 36 hours ago!' She found this hilarious.

Beachgirl
07-10-2014, 03:49 AM
The day before I was induced I worked all day and then went out for Tex-Mex. I was so anxious at that point that there was no way I could have just gone home and stared at the clock.

jennontheisland
07-10-2014, 03:57 AM
My question is... is it completely ridiculous to have such a heavily pregnant woman at a dinner party?
Of course not.


Thoughts?
What would your answer to the above question be if you removed the modifiers "heavily pregnant"?

RightHoJeeves
07-10-2014, 04:41 AM
What would your answer to the above question be if you removed the modifiers "heavily pregnant"?

Well, obviously there wouldn't be a problem. But my question was to ascertain whether those modifiers would change anything.

From the sounds of it though, pregnant women are all badasses!

lianna williamson
07-10-2014, 05:42 AM
I'll be the wimp that admits that in the last week of my pregnancy, sitting at a dining table for hours on end in a formal-ish setting would have been a little slice of hell. I had a knee or something jammed in my ribs and was really only comfortable either lying down or sitting on a yoga ball. If I dropped my napkin on the floor, I couldn't reach it. My feet were swollen. I was short of breath. My insides were all squished by the baby and I could really only eat a small amount of food at a time without getting heartburn.

I certainly could have done it, particularly if it was important to my career-- but I would have rather been at home on my yoga ball, eating pie and watching Law & Order reruns.

stickyinspiration
07-10-2014, 07:41 PM
I was one of the 10% whose water broke first, in the middle of the night. The previous day I went to work and everything as usual. Beyond the standard reduced energy one gets when pregnant and an enormous bulge in front of me, life was normal. As my water broke before technical labor, I had to go straight to the hospital to be induced. I was going to drive myself but my husband said I was out of my mind. (I could have done it.)

I traveled a lot for work, however my doctor recommended I cease travel a month before. In my understanding, this was to keep my closer to the hospital in case of emergencies.

Many of my mommy friends stayed very active until delivering. There are a few things that can happen that hamper this - exhaustion, swollen feet, cramping, having to find a restroom every five minutes. However these still may not get in the way of a dinner party. If you choose to pepper in a few of these details, you can have her relish an empty seat as she networks, or wonder if she's far enough along to finally enjoy a glass of wine.

Keyan
07-11-2014, 02:49 PM
I was at a business lunch the day before my kid was born. There's like a 4-week window for a birth; unless you have a problem pregnancy in some way or are feeling awful, there's no reason to be grounded that whole time.

We also had scheduled some people for dinner that night - and my waters broke 10 minutes before they arrived. I couldn't attend the dinner (in my own house), but felt well enough to go down for 20 minutes to greet the guests.

Which is a long way of saying, it would be fine for her to attend a dinner the night before.

melnve
07-11-2014, 03:21 PM
I went out to lunch and spent the afternoon playing with my god daughters at the park, went into labour overnight and my son was born the next morning. I had been to a rock concert maybe two weeks earlier and stood up the whole night dancing. If it's an uncomplicated pregnancy, no problem.

Orianna2000
07-12-2014, 12:51 AM
If you're writing about a pregnant character, I'd strongly suggest getting a good book on pregnancy. I did a lot of research into pregnancy and childbirth when I was younger, because I wanted to become a nurse/midwife. That career didn't pan out, but because of my research, I know enough to write a realistic pregnant character. Even so, I relied on The Baby Bump (http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Bump-Secrets-Surviving-Months-ebook/dp/B007NXNZDQ/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1405111658&sr=1-2&keywords=baby+bump) and other sources to help me get the details right when I wrote my first two novels, both of which feature pregnant MCs.

jennontheisland
07-12-2014, 02:54 AM
Well, obviously there wouldn't be a problem. But my question was to ascertain whether those modifiers would change anything.

From the sounds of it though, pregnant women are all badasses!
If attending dinner parties (and generally functioning like any other adult human) is badass, then I guess by that definition they would be.

shaldna
07-14-2014, 01:47 AM
Just a quick question about pregnancy... the first part of my WIP deals with the birth of the MC's daughter, but there is also a dinner party. The way its written at the moment, the dinner party happens the night before the wife goes into labour.

My question is... is it completely ridiculous to have such a heavily pregnant woman at a dinner party? The party is treated as being a networking event, particularly for the wife, so they have some sense of obligation to be there. Not something they can really turn down.

Thoughts?

Why would it be riduiculous?I Know several women who were at work the day before or the day they gave birth. I was pretty active, walking the dog, out for dinner etc, when heavily pregnant. I wasn't terribly comfortable, but I wasgoing mad being at home.

Cella
07-14-2014, 01:59 AM
From the sounds of it though, pregnant women are all badasses!

Damn straight!


*eats pie*

*takes a bath*

:D

ScarletWhisper
07-14-2014, 02:02 AM
Yup, ditto above. I worked right up until my labor started.

Actually, with my first one, my water broke at midnight and I decided to sleep for a while and let the soon-to-come contractions wake me up. I slept until 4 am.

With my second one, before I went to the hospital, I made sure I had a nice big bowl of cereal before I left, because they don't let you eat whlie you're there, no matter how long you labor.

So actually, you could underscore your character's tenacity and dedication toward networking by actually having her in the early stages of labor at the party (and just not telling anyone).